Stag and Doe; Buck and Doe; Jack and Jill – Anyone?

posted 1 year ago in Parties
  • poll: Are you planning to host a Stag and Doe party to raise money for your wedding fund?
    Yes - Stag and Doe parties are common in my community : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Yes - Stag and Doe parties are not common in my community, but I'll be planning one anyway : (3 votes)
    4 %
    No - Stag and Doe parties are common in my community, but I won't be planning one : (10 votes)
    14 %
    No - Stag and Doe parties are not common in my community. : (23 votes)
    33 %
    What the heck is a Stag and Doe party? : (24 votes)
    35 %
  • Member
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m from Ontario and we will be having one :) most people on weddingbee strongly disagree with them, though! 

    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee

    I dont know if I will have one, but a friend of mine had one last Canada Day long weekend. :)

    Member
    885 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m not having one, but I do enjoy going to them.  I don’t think they are faux-pas at all, but maybe that’s just because it’s the norm in Ontario.

    They do seem quite stressful to plan, which is one of the reasons we opted not to have one.   

    Member
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Well we’re not engaged yet! Haha but everyone in my town has them before a wedding and my mother has already mentioned a bit about when we’d want it to be once were engaged, etc. and yup most bees think they’re extremely rude if they don’t understand that it’s normal in our area, and therefore not seen as rude :) oh well though! I love going to them! I think they’re fun and a great way to support couples in their wedding planning! 

    Member
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Happy2bMrs:  If you search “stag and doe” on WB you’ll find a few threads. And from what I understand they are a Canadian tradition, but not all regions of Canada have them :)

    Member
    2122 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Happy2bMrs:  ya that’s how I’ve always seen it done :) wedding party isn’t responsible for the financial aspect, but they help with the setting up, Etc. Here, the majority of the prizes are donated, but the bride and groom generally pay for everything else, and come out of the event up maybe $1-2000 in the end. 

    Member
    244 posts
    Helper bee

    You’ll find that the strong backlash about them is from thinking it’s a fundraiser for the Wedding and you shouldn’t ask people to pay for your Wedding, you should have the Wedding you can afford! It can get pretty heated.

    That said, I did have one, it’s the expectation in my hometown and it was a great night.

    Member
    4070 posts
    Honey bee

    Giving you the perspective from someone that comes from a country where this is not done at all the main reason I would have a problem with it is because well it is your wedding so you should pay for it. If anyone tried to do that here then yeah they would find themselves alone in the community centre with no one showing up.

    Personally I don’t understand this at all. I get that it is about community being involved  and starting a life together but why just for this particular life milestone? Your going off to college why not throw a fundraiser for that, you want a new car/new home why not then, you turn 16/18/21/30/40/50/60 why not then? Why not just charge people to attend the wedding because when you boil it down it is the same thing.

    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    I’m originally an Ontario girl, and I now live in Australia.  When my fiance and I went back to visit my fam for a month in October they had already planned it.  I thought it was great! I’ve always gone to them and had a blast.  The prizes came from the ticket money, or were donated from businesses where we knew people.  So no one was out of pocket.

    To be honest, FI and I make pretty good money and weren’t worried about how much the S&D pulled in.  It was more an opportunity to get everyone together who wouldn’t be able to come to our wedding down under.  

    As I see it, it’s the community/friends/family helping the couple start their new life together.  I know there are some people who get too wrapped up in how much is being taken in(ie; my MOH kept pestering me afterwards as to how much we made to compare with hers, but I refused to discose – tacky), but that’s not always the case.  It’s a party, and people enjoy them. If the bride & groom make a few bucks along the way, then fantastic for them.

    Member
    1521 posts
    Bumble bee

    My FI doesnt like strippers and wants me to meet fellow soldiers and they will get a chance to meet my friends and family. So this would break the ice and get the awkward feelings out of  the way and make everyone more relaxed on our wedding day. They wont feel as though they are strangers anymore.

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