(Closed) Stand up or back down?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

NEVER BACK DOWN GIRL ! STAND UP PROUD ! Unique is good. Who the hell wants to be boring? And no, a wedding topper does not a devil child, make !

Post # 4
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What bee-gotten said! There is nothing Satanic OR wrong with wanting a NBC cake topper or skulls topper! Actually, I can see the sugar skulls with beautiful sugar flowers in red and white being amazing! And the NBC topper could be sweet and beautiful! Be Prpoud of who you are and where you came from!

Post # 5
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I guess it depends on how important to you it is. To me, a cake topper is not that important (to ME… I mean to you, it may be very sentimental). If my FIL’s felt that strongly about it, I would just do something traditional. It wouldn’t be worth it to ruffle feathers over a cake topper, but thats just my opinion.

 

Post # 6
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I say do what YOU want. why do THEY care about a cake topper! if it’s what you would like as YOUR cake topper.. then do it. I’ll repeat.. it is YOUR wedding!

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Do what you want…i have been pushed around so much with my wedding that its not what I had envionsed at all…and people are STILL unhappy….so just do what you want and move on…dont back down!

Post # 8
Member
13102 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with texaslawgirl – unless what your caketopper looks like is REALLY important to you, is it really worth upseting your FILs that much?  I’d rather keep a good relationship with them personally.

Post # 9
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s not like you want to wear a black wedding dress ! I think it’s wrong of them to make you feel this way. Speak to your FI and tell him  you are not backing down and he can deal with his family. Wanting what you want on a day you can never get back and showcasing your heritage and pride is no sin. FIL’s will “forgive” you.

Post # 10
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

The argument that it’s just a caketopper cuts both ways.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect your in-laws to take a deep breath, appreciate that this is not their wedding, and make an attempt to be rational about the whole thing.  Never in my entire life have I met a single person who would conclude based on a minor wedding detail that the bride and groom are worshippers of the dark lord of flame.  They’re being ridiculous.

What bothers me is that what they’re calling “traditional” is probably confined to a pretty narrow set of ideas about “how things are done” that may not resonate with you or your family.  Insisting that the way you and yours go about a particular project or celebration is right and everyone else is wrong is just plain rude, and you shouldn’t have to give in to it just because they get their panties in a bunch every time someone proposes a new and different approach.

Post # 11
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

IDK-Maybe they are thinking that their relatives and friends will get the “wrong idea” about you and your FI, their son?? Is it really important to you?  Maybe you could do that as a groom’s cake, or at your rehearsal dinner instead?  Just an idea!

Post # 12
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Maybe go with the sugar skulls and explain its cultural significance to you inlaws and see if they can understand and accept it.  Maybe add a note on your cake table with an explanation as well for others who might not understand.

Post # 13
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Question time: Are FIL’s giving you any $ for your wedding budge? If not, they have NO SAY !

Post # 14
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Would they feel (slightly) better about a Corpse Bride wedding topper?  Then they are at least bride and groom looking – even if they are skeletons.  If not, I don’t think that they should be upset over your idea for a topper that incorporates your Mexican heritage!  I think that for something like a cake topper, they are being a bit unreasonable.  Not every cake topper has to be a perfectly posed “traditional” bride and groom – there are some really cool ones out there now and I think yours should reflect who you are as a couple and your personalities. 

Post # 15
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

“a wedding topper does not a devil child, make!”  HAH!  Love this.

I would give on the NBC topper, as you did, but try and stand up for the sugar skulls.  It’s your heritage and part of who you are for pete’s sake!  Did you explain the cultural significance to them?  If they still can’t wrap their minds around it I would maybe give.  Relationships are more important than cake toppers but I think giving it a good try isn’t out of line at all.

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