Standing ceremony- the good, the bad, the ugly

posted 2 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
7884 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think it’s a great way to piss off all your guests right off the bat! I would get some more quotes or marry somewhere that the seating is included.

Post # 3
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’ve never been to a wedding where I had to stand during the ceremony. I have been to receptions where not everyone had a seat, and at those, lots of people ended up leaving early.

I think you should either figure out a way to afford the cost of the chairs, or find a ceremony location that already includes seating. Otherwise you might find lots of grumpy people right off the bat…

Post # 4
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I was at one recently…but is was very casual and very quick. I didn’t think it was a problem to stand. We all went outside when we were told to for the ceremony and after, were instructed to go inside so they could take their portraits. wasn’t more than 20 minutes. There were approx 60 people there.

Post # 5
1109 posts
Bumble bee

Noooo. People need seats.

Post # 5
3496 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

greenie318:  I think it depends on the length of the ceremony. If it is longer than 10 mins or so, people are probably going to get pretty mad. Not to mention that if you have elderly guests, they may be very uncomfortable standing for longer than a few mins.

Post # 6
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Depends on where you are as well. Australia – it’s common to only have approx. 20-30 chairs available for guests for the ceremony for garden weddings. Churches obviously have enough seats with the pews. I prefer to sit down so arrive early haha! 

Post # 7
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve been to one.  It was very casual, small, and quick.  The cermony probably didn’t last more than 5 minutes.  I didn’t have a problem with it.  I would probably be annoyed if it was any longer though, because I always wear heels to weddings. 

Post # 8
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

The only standing wedding I went to was nice, but myself and others kept near falling backwards cause our heels kept sinking into the ground. If itsa short ceremony I would say many people would not mind with the exception of elders/people with disabilities, but I’d try to get seating somehow. 

Post # 9
1955 posts
Buzzing bee

greenie318:  You need to have a seat for every guest.  Others have pointed out the matter of elderly guests or guests who may visibly have difficulty standing.  However, remember that not all health issues are visible and you may have guests who look like they ‘should’ be able to stand, but actually have difficulty doing so for more than a few minutes.  Having no seating puts them in a difficult position and having limited seating is, in some ways, even worse, because these guests are forced to either divulge their health issues (which are their private business) or to endure severe judgment from other guests/be asked to give up their seat for someone who looks like they need it.  Don’t put your guests in these situations.  A seat for every guest.

Post # 10
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

greenie318:  “I’m having a hard time justifying this cost.” — From your guests’ point of view, this cost is probably more important than centerpieces, uplighting, favors, pretty much anything other than food, a roof, and your officiant. Also, any chair is better than no chair, so if the $1000 quote was for fancy chairs, look for cheaper ones. In my area, you can get white plastic chairs for $3.00 each or less. They won’t come with cushions or bows in your colors but nobody will care. If you skip the chairs entirely, almost everyone will care.

Post # 12
117 posts
Blushing bee

The only standing ceremony I’ve ever been to was 5-10 minutes long from start to finish.  Everyone booked it down the “aisle”, they both said their self-written vows (no words from the officiant) which was the meat of the time, were pronounced man and wife and then had the kiss. That was it- nothing else was included. It was outdoors, nice weather, and on grass. Having our heals sink in all the time was a bit of an irritant but for only 10 minutes we all dealt. 

There were also plenty of chairs at the reception after. I think if there had not been most would have left after a few minutes. 

I’ve also been to weddings that last 30 minutes-2 hours long with about an hour being the norm. If someone told me I was going to stand for the whole thing I would think they were batmess insane. 

Things to think about:

Everyone standing makes a lot more noise. You have all of the papers and programs you hand out have no where to go so they get shuffled thorugh the whole thing. People don’t want to put their nice purses on the ground- but then want to take out their cameras and phones to take pictures- cue rustling. 

People will not most likely not stand in nicely alloted spaces and make you a pretty asile. They’re basically all going to fan out and around so everyone can see. It will end up resembling more of a huddle than anything else. 

Is this indoors or outdoors? People are potentially already going to be walking to an outdoor location. Anyone quite elderly, pregnant, infirm, or even just tired will not appreciate walking somewhere and then having to stand too. On the flip side if people come inside to a place that’s just empty it’s going to seem very odd and a bit penny pinching, and look even weirder. Imagine a big hall with nothing in it. 

I would vote find another vendor or location unless you want to have grumpy guests or a very fast ceremony. 

Post # 13
6446 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

greenie318:  how long is your ceremony? Unless the ceremony is under five minutes I would not recommend doing this. Even if it was very short I would be an unhappy guest because I would get there fifteen minutes early and would likely have an aching back by the time the ceremony is actually over.

Post # 14
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I went to a standing ceremony once, but it was litereally less than 10 mintues on the beach and all the guests were barefoot. I’d say find the money somewhere else in your budget (dress, catering, DJ, whatever) if you intend the actual wedding to be any longer than “Do you?” “I do.” “How about you?” “Me too!” “GREAT! Kisses! Cake! Let’s go!”

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