Standy by for Help Bees?!?! Confronting Rude Uncle!!!!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have been following you on this and best thing to do is just to let him know how you feel and that this is your wedding he already had his, and since you”him” isnt offering to help out with paying for it he has no say in it at all.

Good luck hun, and remember to back down you let him know you are the bride and he isnt the groom, and that your word is final(some people just need to be reminded of that ;)) so do back down

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am SO done with that jerk! I can’t imagine how you feel!

Sit him down and go “Here’s the deal, Uncle PITA. This is our wedding, not yours, and you’re not involved with the paying process, so we would prefer you not get involved with the planning process, either.”

Post # 5
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@HourThyme:  I would simply state each and every time he contacted you  “The decisions are already made and we are not changing them for anyone. I love you and I am sure you mean well. Your actions are causing me unnecessary stress, Other than coming to the wedding, I request that you back off and let us handle the planning.”

Other than that I would IGNORE him. Just because he calls, suggests, demands, etc does not men that you have to respond.

If the other musicians show up, have someone delegated to tell them that you have no contract with them and they re free to leave and to speak to uncle re any costs incurred.

 

Post # 6
Member
2685 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@julies1949:  THIS!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that uncle is a CRAZY one.

 

@HourThyme:  Done be afraid to tell him what you think. He obviously is not afraid to tell YOU what HE thinks. I would do what Julie has suggested. 

Post # 7
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@HourThyme:  this uncle is not only rude but incredibly controlling.  he is not going to like it but take away his control.  let him pout, scream, swear, etc but stick to your guns.  don’t let him take away your integrity.

Post # 8
Member
4216 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Make sure you use “I” statements when talking to this person. I feel pressured, not you are pressuring me. 

Post # 9
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry I haven’t read all the back story, but have you tried the line, “You didn’t even invite me to your wedding, so why are you so concerned about mine?”

Also if you’ve already conceded on the baby, I don’t see the point of talking to him at all.

Post # 10
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2015

What is wrong with him?!? He sounds like a bridezilla and he is not the bride! :/ I understand family members wanting to give advice and tips but this uncle isn’t even giving advice he sounds like he is demanding you do what he says.Remind him that this is your and your fiancés day and that it WILL be how you want it to be and that you have had enough “advice” and that the plans are set and you can’t change them.If he doesn’t like it let him deal with it its not you’re problem its his! Good luck with the phone call and don’t let this bring down you’re engagement wedding happiness 🙂 xox

Post # 11
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I would confront him with your parents…have him over to dinner and discuss it with support. 

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