- 2 years ago
I’ve been in a part-time position for well over a year now and I’m about to start training for the full-time position in two weeks. Now that I’m fully committing myself to what will be my career, I’m feeling excited, nervous, and a little guilty. As is usually the case with me, I worry about whether I’m doing the right thing. I never thought this would be what I would do with my life, and I’m not sure fully what to think about it. I’m fortunate that I like my job, although I can’t know for sure if that will stay the same as the full-time position is a little different.
What I feel most guilty over is the fact that I’m not using the degrees I went to school for. I had no idea what I wanted to do in undergraduate, so I had a very generic major. In my senior year I thought I finally had it figured out and went on to grad school for two years for a masters (it was required for my chosen career). The years I spent in grad school were grueling and emotionally draining: I was in a LDR with my partner, living in a place I hated, and despite trying I never made a single friend the two years I was there. I persevered because I thought I was doing this for my future. I moved to my partner after graduating and started job hunting. My area was limited and competition was incredibly high – very few entry jobs were even available. Despite working in my field while going to school, I didn’t have the years of experience people were looking for. I applied for whatever was available – food service, retail, anything, and that’s how I ended up in my current job.
So as I begin this new chapter, I can’t help but wonder if the years I spent trying to earn my degrees mattered if I’m in a position where a degree holds no merit whatsoever. It especially stings as I’m still paying off the student loan for a degree I don’t even use. How do I let go of the future I thought I would have and be confident in what I have now?