Post # 1
I have been planning for about 10 months now and, while it has always been an obsession, I am just now starting to loose sleep. It doesn’t help that I am a bridesmaid in a wedding one month before my own and work is getting really busy and intense. Last night, I was wide awake, mind and heart racing, until 2am. I had to leave for work at 6:15am to be at a meeting that I was facilitating. How do you keep calm when the stress starts to mount? I am not a fan of using medication as a crutch, but I am tempted to try to get something to calm me down – that is how bad it was yesterday/last night. Share your stories and tips!
Post # 3
Lists always help me. Whenever I can’t sleep and I have a bunch of things on my mind, I always get up (because lying there isn’t doing any good) and write myself out a list of things I need to do for the next day. This way, I will have things written down on paper and not lingering in my head.
Also, going on weddingbee is a great form of therapy! These blogs can be like journals, where you share your thoughts/worries/obsessions. Let it all out on here, we understand! BUT, I do not recommend doing anything wedding related right before bed. Save that time for yourself and your FI. Remember, there will not always be a wedding to plan, but there will always be a husband to have a relationship with. Don’t let your stress over what is essentially a party get in the way of that!
Post # 4
My relaxation technique from this weekend was somewhat pricey. I got my hair cut/colored and got a facial on Saturday. I didn’t think about the wedding the entire time! Of course it’s Monday now and I’m back onto worrying 🙂
I agree that lists really really really help. Yesterday I put together an extremely detailed list with all the items that will need to be setup and who will be handling it. Details down to utensils, specific decorations etc. It makes me feel better to have a mental picture of what’s going on, even if I haven’t actually accomplished anything. Also, finishing things, however small, reduces my stress levels. Separate your tasks into very small details so that you can check things off, even if the whole project isn’t complete. Yesterday I "cut invitation backing" and "mounted invitation backing". I felt awfully good when those things got checked off.
Post # 5
I make lists as well! I try to keep all my things organized and whenever I’m stressed it’s usually because I feel like things are spinning out of control.
I like what megk said about making the tasks simple so you can get even the little things checked off. I also categorized my projects, made lists of things to buy and what needed to be done, and who could help me or be put in charge of something. Don’t be afraid to ask for help–getting organized and getting projects completed.
Take time away from wedding things too! Spend a night with your fiance and don’t mention one thing about the wedding. It’s a really nice break. (a mani/pedi & facial don’t hurt either!)
Post # 6
I know how you feel! I’ve been having trouble sleeping cause my mind is whirling with all the wedding thoughts. Unfortunately, I can’t say I’ve found a healthy way to deal with it yet. Tylenol PM is my fave. I have headaches a LOT (allergies keep my sinuses screwy all the time), so it’s not like I can’t justify taking a painkiller. And it knocks me out. Bonus, I never wake up with a headache, which I normally do all the time. I like all the suggestions above tho, I’m gonna try working on those!
Post # 7
Also, you should work out. It’s one of the best stress reliefs and will seriously make you feel a lot better.
Post # 8
I agree with making lists! I find it really helpful to write stuff down so I don’t worry about forgetting. It also helps to scratch things off the list when they are completed because I can see how much I have done and know that I’m making progress.
Post # 9
I’m another list maker. I find that once I feel like I’m getting the stress under control, I don’t get so anxious. I also try to work out, too. I find that if I’m getting really stressed and I have a good yoga class or a long run, I’m less worried afterwards.
Post # 10
Maybe some yoga practice. The nice thing about it is that it teaches you some meditative techniques to breathe out the anxiety and focus on things other than intrusive thoughts.
However, it does seem from your very limited post that these thoughts are quite intrusive and disturbing to you, and for that reason I would recommend seeing your practitioner of choice.
Good luck, let us know if things are getting better, worse or staying the same!
Post # 11
Thanks for the tips! I know I need to work out more and I am making a to-do list right now. Hopefully this won’t continue, but I have a feeling that the closer the wedding gets, the more it will happen.
I also do have pretty bad anxiety in general. In my everyday life, I’m fine, but if I have to lead a big meeting at work, or have a wedding-related event (bridesmaid dress shopping, for example) I get really anxious and get all red and blotchy. For this reason, my doctor mentioned he could refer me to a psychiatrist for a zanex type drug, but I’m scared of it! I have heard so many horror stories about those kinds of drugs and how they screw people up. Anyone know anything about it?
Post # 12
I personally use meditation to help with anxiety. It might sound a little hokey at first but breathing exercises, listening to really peaceful music and just sitting and trying to clear your mind really does work. Seriously, try sitting for 20 minutes and not doing anything or thinking about anything. It’s HARD but if you can make that time for yourself each day it will really help!
Post # 13
I joined a gym (Total Woman) that included a day spa. About 4 months before the wedding I began doing yoga at the gym, personal training, and two spa treatments a month. This kept me relaxed and feeling good about myself while wedding plan. I also began posting on weddingbee and my own blog to release stress!
Post # 14
I’m 2 months away from graduating medical school, and from what I’ve seen over the past couple of years I would stay away from xanax or any type of benzo. On my psych rotation the mantra from the residents was ‘xanax is the devil’ because it is so addicting (it has a high peak and an extremely short half life). It doesn’t sound like your anxiety is bad enough to warrnet prescription drugs, but if you do want something there are much safer drugs than xanax. I’d start with something for sleep…you can just take benedryl (same as tylenol PM without the acetaminophen) or get a prescription from your doctor for something nonaddicting. I get red and blotchy too when I’m stressed and I’m hoping I can walk down the aisle without huge splotch marks!
Post # 15
I’m about where you are! I’m so nervous all the time- the stress is really getting to me. When I try to fall asleep, I do one of two things:
1) Starting with my toes, I relax each individual part of my body. I spend 10 deep breaths in and out concentrating on each part. I make it to about my abdomen and I’m out like a light.
2) If I’m feeling really tense and stressed, I imagine that I’m breathing in clean, pure air, and breathing out stress and tension. It works!
Post # 16
I used to have terrible insomnia, it’s now manageable. This is what helps me.
1) Working out on a regular basis
2) Going to sleep before my window – If I stay up much passed midnight, I’m UP because my second wind kicks in. Get to know when your window is.
3) Noise – a humidifier or anything that creates white noise helps me.
4) My fail safe – counting backwards, my magic number is 387.
PS – be careful with sleep enhancing meds – 1) they can become a crutch but more importantly, if you’re like me they have the exact opposite effect, they are a total stimulant. People react differently.