Post # 1
So, I’m not sure if this is because of my “issues” with FI’s family or if I actually should/am right to be freaking out so I wanted to check with you lovely Bees to put me in check.
My fiance’s little sister (just turned 18 a few weeks ago) is the junior maid of honor in our August 26th wedding (this year). They (the family) live out of state and will be flying in for the event. Now, we’re pretty low key with wedding plans and have put this wedding together in under 4 months so a lot of the typical stuff (like ordering a dress for me 6 months in advance…) aren’t happening. Cool. In April, we went bridesmaid dress shopping. All of the bridesmaids ordered their dresses then – expect her. She wasn’t in the state (obviously) but I let her and her parents know. She loves the dress, they love the dress because she can wear it again (it’s so her style!).
Now…half-way through June…she still hasn’t ordered her dress. I asked her in May, she said she was busy. I asked her last week of May…she said her Mom still hadn’t made an appointment. I told her she’s an adult now and can make her own appointment online – this time of year they can take a few weeks just to get an appointment! She said OK. I also told her that it may even be too late to order the dress (David’s Bridal) because she’s a unique size (big gal) and it’s popular season. I asked her last night. She said neither of them had still made an appointment. I asked when she would – she said she doesn’t know her Mom’s schedule and will ask her to make the appointment again.
Now…I’m freaking. Her only job is getting the dress and showing up, right? Am I right to be freaking out a little or is it just me and how I feel about FI’s family? TBH, his family is flakey. I’ve visited before and we’ve decided something like “Hey, tomorrow we should all go to the park to walk our retriever – let’s go at 9AM.” The next day, 9AM comes. No one is awake. 12PM. No one is awake. 1PM – people start waking. “Oh yeah, we were supposed to wake the dog – we should go – right after breakfast.” 5PM rolls around. No walk. 8PM rolls around. “Hey, let’s go to dinner and walk take Ralf to the park tomorrow.” Needless to say, we never walked the dog at the park on that 7 day trip with his family. I’m not sure if I’m letting their flakeyness cloud my judgement or not…
Thanks for the help!
Post # 3
If she is going to David’s she doesn;t need an appointment she can just walk in the door. They will see anyone and they have several sizes in each style to try on so she knows what to get.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
Do you think she isn’t interested and doesn’t want to tell you this, so the dress not being there in time will be the excuse?
Post # 5
The minimum a bm should do is get the dress. If she doesn’t, you aren’t at fault. If it were me,mid be like “oh well, I reminded you lots of times!” and be short a bridesmaid. Has your FI made an effort to talk to them? I’d have him call and put his foot down. It’s your wedding and if she doesn’t want to be a part of it by not doing her only task, then she should be adult enough to say something.
Post # 6
My bridesmaids tried that (well, 2 of them at different locations) as well as myself when in another wedding and they couldn’t accomodate us at all and told us to make an appointment. She [the bridesmaid in question] said she called her local branch as well and they said the same thing. I think it’s just a “get them at a busy/time day thing?”
@Mrs. Mink: She is hella excited to be in the wedding. She was super excited from the second we got engaged, she was all “OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER WE CAN MAKE IT PRETTY” (if you met her, you’d know the caps are necessary lol). FI keeps saying “Oh, that’s just how my family is – we’re kind of lazy” [his parents still haven’t made flight or hotel plans either for our wedding…] but I still find that hard to believe, ya know?
Post # 7
@AJester2: He talked to his mother recently [shaky relationship there] and she said that Ellen is still really excited to be in the wedding but hasn’t made an apppointment to go yet. FI said “Well, she thinks you’re going to make it” and his mother responded something along the lines of oh right – we’ll take care of it. I know she really wants to be in the wedding but this last-minute-ness will be the death of me lol!
Post # 8
No apt. Needed as they won’t turn business away also make sure you voice to them that if no dress then no bridesmaid. That way it’s out there.
Post # 9
@Absolute: i didn’t have a bm but my hubby had his sister stand up with him so she wore a bm dress. we were out of the country so she could pick whatever she wanted in black. pretty easy, huh. well, i think she finally went to david’s and ordered it a month before and got it 2 weeks prior to the wedding. talk about cutting it close. i kept asking for a pic of her in it but never got one. mil sent me a pic of the model wearing it in another colour. i got to see it on the wedding day.
Post # 10
Personally I would set a timeline. Give her X amount of time, if she doesn’t have the dress by then you will take that as her declining to be a part of the bridal party
Post # 11
@Absolute: oh man I have this issue as well~ but its a little different cuz my FI’s sister lives in London and I simply asked her to throw a measuring tape around herself to get a rough idea of the DB size I will get her and instead of doing that SHE SUGGESTED SHE SHOULDN”T BE A BM CUZ SHE DOESN’T KNOW IF SHE’S EVEN GOING TO COME?!
I was like are you FREAKING serious?
You’re my FI’s SISTER and His parents and best friends are all coming from UK and YOU AREN’T?! WTF?!
Yeeeeah, anyway, the point is, maybe she feels so disconnected to the bridal party that she doesn’t actually want to be in it and up there standing with y’all…
I would ask if she wants to be a BM or Jr MOH or whatever. It seems like she doesn’t and might prefer to wear her own dress and just sit (maybe she doesn’t like the spotlight?)
Call her & have some “real talk” cuz asking us really isn’t getting down to the root of the issue… we can all guess about her motives but she’s the one who knows how she feels and you are the one who has to deal with it in the end. lol
Some people just don’t have their priorities straight!
Post # 12
If Davids says the dress won’t be in on time, try calling different David’s stores to see if they have the right dress in stock. You or she can go pick it up, or try to order online. I heard online ordering is quicker.
Post # 13
@LovelyLaura: Thanks for the tip – there’s only one DB in her area and all of my DB’s are out of stock on the dress she’ll be wearing. If it isn’t one thing it is another lol