(Closed) Starting to resent him…

posted 7 years ago in DIY
Post # 4
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs Hedgehog: D’aw.  I’m so sorry hun.  I went through that when I was in my LDR.  It’s so tough especially because there’s not too much that you can do.  I hope you’re able to spend more time with him soon.  Is there any possible way to plan some sort of a surprise night for the two of you?

Post # 6
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mrs Hedgehog: Oh no.  I’m sorry.  🙁 that’s definitely no fun.  I wish there was more I could say to do and help!

Post # 7
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Its in DIY cause you’re doing it all yourself 😛

I can sympathize some as my FI is a workaholic. Not only does he own his own company, but he’s working towards his MBA. He’s always working & he likes it that way. He’s truly happies when he has too much on his plate.

BUT we’ve had to compramise to come to a point in our relationship where I can say he understands how to prioritize. Basically, I’ve had to realize that this is part of who he is, it makes him happy. Plus, he DOES have a lot on his plate realistically. Sometimes, I just have to give him time to himself.

He’s had to realize that sometimes he needs to put work & schoool off to the side. It took alot of discussing, but finally he realized that I was feeling very alone even in our relationship and had to set aside time for me & us. Now we usually spend weekends together, but weeknights are for school/work. Sometimes he’ll work on weekends if he has a project due, but only after we’ve had our time & he comunicates with me what he needs to get done, how much time he needs to do it, & when he’s going to work on it.

Really, comunication is key. We have to talk about our time expectations to eachother. If I’m feeling lonley or overworked I have to tell him (nicely). If he’s feeling like there’s alot on his plate he has to tell me. Its really been a blessing for our relationship.

Post # 8
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee

Awe I’m so sorry 🙁 its not fun being lonely when you know your in this great relationship, that and engineering is a relationship killer (if I remember correctly thats what he does?or something technological). Its hard because you know you want to be supportive and you know that they are working hard but its making you unhappy. 

My only advice is find something to keep yourself busy while he is busy. Whether it be trying out a new activity on the weekends or catching up on some reading in the evening, as long as your occupied the less time you have to miss him.

I know its not great advice but it might hopefully make things easier for now.

Post # 9
Member
2237 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First of all, you need to talk to him about this. If you don’t address it, you’re just going to resent him more and more. But also, when will he be done with school? And how demanding will his actual career be?

Post # 11
Member
2265 posts
Buzzing bee

@Mrs Hedgehog: awe well my BF wants to go into mech eng so anytime I come across anyone on here I kinda remember lol, so I totally get what you mean! And I actually did end up throwing a trantrum a couple months ago for exactly the same thing.

I think you have to remember as well is that hes probably missing you too.  So even though hes busy now I’m sure once he has gotten overwhelmed he will probably come back looking for some hugs and reassurance and thats when you’ll be there.

Hopefully this cheers you up too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aAtFrWft2k

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