Starting to think he won't do it on our 1 year anniversary (a little long)

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m glad that you are making good financial decisions for both of you.

I think 1 year is a short relationship to be engaged to be married (I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and just got married July 6th). Obviously this arrangement does not work for everybody, but it worked for us due to wanting financial stability.

Do you each live on your own?  Or still with your parents?  Living together is a huge step, especially if you’ve never had to pay your own bills as it is.  It can be a stressful transition.

Post # 4
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

@LadyBlackheart:  I wouldn’t rush it.  It sounds like you really have your hopes up for September, and I’m afraid you might be disappointed.  Did you have a deal where you wouldn’t move in together without a ring?  Because it sounds like he’s more focused on a car and living together than a ring.  I also wouldn’t plan on paying his half of the rent, unless you were married, but that’s just me.  I feel like some girls do that in hopes that their boyfriend may spend his money on a ring, but then the boyfriend spends it on himself, and the girl gets frustrated.  Or maybe I’m reading that wrong.  Anyway, enjoy your relationship and living together.  You learn so much about your SO when you live together.

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Sounds like you’re handling it well. You sound pretty young, and you haven’t even been dating for a year yet, so I think being patient is a good thing (I know it’s hard sometimes).

Post # 8
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@LadyBlackheart:  You’re young. Promise. 

I would highly suggest that you put off that car as long as possible. Generally in Sept the new model year comes out, and you can get a good deal on the previous model year because they are trying to get rid of it. Do your research, go in with a target price, and don’t let them bully you. When my SO bought his new car, I talked them down about 3 grand before he even brought his trade in or money down into the discussion.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Well, you seem to be moving in the right direction, and that’s what’s important. DBF and I are moving along slower than I wanted thanks to finances, but moving along still.

 

Post # 11
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@darkflame:  +1 

A year is pretty fast to expect an engagement.   

Post # 12
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@LadyBlackheart:  It’s worth looking into with the new model year, sometimes you can get a brand new car vs a new to you car cheaper. It all depends on what you want and can afford of course. Let me know how you do though, I pay off my car in 2 months and am looking at Jan or later to purchase a new one depending on what the SO does. (If he proposes, I might wait for the new car since I need cash for the wedding)

Post # 15
Member
844 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If it helps, FI proposed to me a week before our first anniversary, and we moved in together a month later! It does happen, so fingers crossed for you x

Post # 16
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@LadyBlackheart:  My grandfather worked for GM. 🙂 I bought a Hyundai. LOL

Not that this is relevant at ALL…but I love the boxes around OP’s now. So much easier to find things when you’re scanning a thread.

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