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I went from working full time 12 hours a day to staying at home by my own choice. I would say the hardest adjustment for me was losing that daily adult interaction! Its definitely adjustment, but on bringing in a little income I am a substitute teacher. It helps some with having fun money and we have also learned how to take our budgets seriously. Before I had my daughter I would shop till I drop. LOL. Now I have to budget in when I want to get something and if we cant afford well I just have to wait. How lucky are you that your job is held for 5 years! Its always nice knowing you have something to fall back on at anytime.
I'm only 3 months away from this transition and we're rolling around ALL the ideas :) Reviewing our budget very closely. We're only planning to do the one income thing for a couple months... then I'll have to do something or else we won't be able to save for retirement or go on vacations! I'm also thinking of being a nanny to 1-2 other kids to bring in some money. Not a full-fledged certified daycare -- just nannying to bring in a little extra dough and be able to be full time with my own. I love kids and will probably be SOO much happier than I am now. We'll see though. Keeping my ears open around town for work from home opportunities!
Here's a tool that I found that's very, very interesting, actually! It answered my own insecurities as well as my husbands - turns out my salary wouldn't bring much more to the household anyway once we pay for daycare and all.. We'll make more if I stay home and nanny..
http://moneycentral.msn.com/personal-finance/calculators/adding_a_second_income_calculator/home.aspx
This is a great post! We are in the position in making some adjustments with my working status but it is definitely difficult as I am the bread winner right now and I make nearly double what the hubs makes. If it was just the two of us and the baby, we can probably get through but we also take care of my FIL so it makes it very difficult. Even with the proposed adjustment I would make at work (working 4 days a week) we will lose at least 15K of my income. It is doable but that is a huge hit for us financially. I also don't really have the option of being away for long periods of time and it isn't all because my job won't keep me but in my field, it is competative and new things have to be learned or you are left behind. There is no picking up where you left off, so that hurts us as well.
All in all these are definitely things to ponder.
Like egb mentioned, sometimes, once you factor in the costs of going to work, it doesn't seem as "scary." Not always... but usually.... In fact, that was one of the few econ lessons I remember from HS, looking at dual income families and breaking down costs of a stay at home parent vs. dual careers...
Luckily, I already work from home, so when the time comes the biggest adjustment will be multi-tasking and to some degree, having to NOT work at home during the day to watch said toddler/child and working after my FH comes home...
That's really nice that you can take 5 years off!
Dang, that's NICE that your company offers that!!! I definitely can't leave my job and just pick up where I left off. Engineering and the medical field are a "you snooze, you lose" type of field. But I'm willing to hack 25K off my salary for a nanny until our child is a year old. For many people it's not worth it to continue working after you have kids, especially with one or two children needing full time care! I know for my mom this was the case, but my dad owned his own business and sometimes picked up extra work and stayed late to bring in a little more dough. Me, personally, no matter what I choose, I'll still be able to bring in a significant chunk of money every year even with daycare....it's college money for our kids =]
OoOoo the calculator is fun! I end up with an "extra" income of 30K. That's college, baby!
That's something I'm trying to work on now. Switching some of my career over to online consulting/data mining what not. So there's still some income and work to use my degree but so we're not both working away from home full-time
Well, where I work will not hold my own position, but will garantee that I come back at the same level as when I left... Coming back WILL be hard because when I come back to work, I will have to learn everything again. I see it as starting a new job all over again without proper training, I'll just have to jump right into it.
But I don't mind though... For me, staying at home is not really about the fact that my income wouldn't be that much worth it (even if I have a pretty decent salary now); it's more about being the one who raises our children. I got stressed over the bills and am relieved to find out that we won't actually be losing too much, especially if I work from home in a way or another.
But yeah, I am very fortunate that I have the option, without losing my good position , retirement and all..
I think a lot of times some mothers choose to stay at home as well because it will actually cost them more to send their kids to day care rather than them stay at home. So it's like a give and take. But I do understand what you mean in terms of you will lose your income and have an extra mouth to feed.
A coworker of mine, his wife stays at home with their baby and watches kids of family and friends. She has a degree in Childcare and is working towards her masters right now. So it's great for that she is gaining work experience, earning money and staying home with her baby. Pretty dang perfect.
Do you have any friends in the same age bracket who are planning to start conceiving soon?
Coworkers wife actually placed an ad on Craigslist and got some decent responses.
Is it possible to have a part time job? Or do you see something like Avon or Lia Sophia working for you? That will never work for me because I don't have friends that spend on money on stuff like that. But it can for you.
And I think just generally start saving NOW rather than when you find out your pregnant.
GL!
When my daughters were younger (this was when I was with my ex), I bartended on the weekends. I went in after my girls were in bed, so they never even knew I was gone. Otherwise, I was home all the time, as I quit my marketing job after the little one was born.
Then I went back to work full time and still bartended, split from the ex, and did that for a few years. Then husband and I moved in together and I cut back to a part time position to spend more time with my kids. The intention has always been to quit working when the baby (that I'm pregnant with now) was born. But, then I lost after school care for my older daughter (she's "special needs"), so I wound up quitting way sooner than intended. (And, no, she doesn't get disabilty anymore since my husband and I got married. People always assume we get disability for her.)
I don't shop nearly as much as I used to. We don't go out as much. We budget our grocery bill very carefully. We rent movies from RedBox instead of OnDemand. I got rid of my smart phone. And sadly, husband is selling his Audi this summer
. My husband carpools to work since he works an hour away. I'm also going to make all my girls summer clothes this year. So, it's all the little things we're spending less on that make that difference. Also, not paying $400 a month in daycare totally helps.
As far as supplemental income, I will not be doing the nanny thing or babysitting. My kids are enough, thanks!! But, I might start doing some tailoring. I've also considered doing special occasion makeup. Or making healthy meals for working families for a small profit. My husband and I are tossing around different ideas of things I can do from home that are in line with skills I already have, but won't take too much attention away from parenting. Oh, I'm also writing and addressing Christmas cards for people this year, since I have unnaturally good handwriting.
Yeah, daycare around us is also about 800-1000$/month.
@Miss Starlet: I love the idea of cooking meals for others.. I mean, I will be cooking a lot at home anyway and I always cook in large portions, so why not sell some?
Keep the ideas coming!
If i got so busy working, school, kids, etc, I'd TOTALLY pay for healthy premade meals.
But then it'd be like, eating leftovers all the time =\
You could offer "lunch packs" for kids...lunches made with healthy things, delivered to the school? haha. That'd be pretty sweet.
@ejs - that is an awesome idea! You know how many families now a days can't afford good healthy lunches for their kids.
Daycare for me when I was working full time was closer to $1000 a month. Working part time, two days a week, for one child, was just over $400. That's not counting the $50/wk I paid a relative to watch my older daughter for six-ten hours a week. Ugh!
@egb... It makes me crazy when I see some of my friends feeding their kids Taco Bell and McDonalds a few times a week, especially when for the same amount of $$ I could feed them for more days, and way healthier!! And I love cooking, anyway.
@ejs...That is a great idea. My kids do NOT eat the crap passed off as healthy school lunch. I'm not saying they never eat sweets or junk, but it's definitely monitered closely and kept to a minimum. But, I'm okay with them having one Hostess cupcake if I know they're eating fresh fruits and vegetables at every meal and getting their grains and calcium, etc.
I have no idea what I'm going to do on this subject. Atleast while my kids are young, as in, before they enter school, I want to be a stay at home mom, but I just don't see how that's going to be financially possible. I make 3x what my hubby makes. And in a few months, that discrepancy will be even greater because he'll be going to school and working less. Even when he graduates, it will take him several years to get to where I am in terms of how much money I bring home. We're just going to concentrate on paying off all our debt in the next few years and when the time comes to have kids, we'll just have to learn to adjust to living on less. Considering I want to stay at home with my kids, it will be worth it.
Even though we aren't engaged yet much less married, I worry about this all the time. Childcare costs a small fortune in NYC, so it is gonna be a nightmare. I make double what he does so staying at home isn't really an option for me. I also don't particularly want the pressure of being sole breadwinner though, so I guess it will have to figure itself out.
Oy, I think the real message here is that no matter how you do it, children are expensive. Whether you stay home to take care of them or pay for childcare, one way or another it costs a lot of money and will impact your financial situation.
I bet there are lots of things you could do to supplement your income. Freelance in your field, take a part time job at some point, take care of other children as well as your own, etc. You mentioned a day care but there is a big step between a full-fledged day care and and just taking care of the neighbor's children as well as your own. You could try it out on a smaller scale to see how you liked it first.
That's too awesome that you can take 5 years of unpaid leave and resume work as usual!
I'm a SAHM, we save money by:
-not eating out, like ever.
-not paying for daycare cha-ching!
-not spending ridiculous amounts of money on clothes we know our son will just destroy anyway
-having friends/family babysit if we do actually ever find the time/energy to go out [they charge next to nothing for us other than access to our movies/internet & fridge]
We add to our income by:
-selling crap we don't need anymore i.e.: baby toys & whatnot at a local buy/sell/trade. We can put the money toward other useless kid crap.
-investing in the stock market. Not everyone's cup of tea, and it comes with risks, but so far we've made over 20k on our initial investment.
Other things that you can do are work from home. day care is viable, though a big commitment -- depending on local laws, you'll have to keep it fairly small, which should = saving a little more of your sanity (here the ratio is 1 care giver : 3 children MAXIMUM; it varies when the children are younger than 18months).
If you're crafty, use your pregnancy to your advantage and get busy on DIY goodness & sell it on Etsy.
If you're a great bargain hunter buy stuff from consignment stores/second hand stores and hock it on Ebay.
If there is a good telecommunications company in your area you may be able to work billing/tech support from home. If you're not opposed to telemarketing/phone surveys there are lots of companies out there that allow you to work from home too.
One of the SAHM's I know walks dogs for a little extra pocket money; and if things get really bad don't forget that most grocers/liqour stores take bottles or certain containers back for an 'environmental deposit.'
Though I have to say I think you're pretty set with the 5 year leave, that's pretty stellar, and 5 years will be gone before you know it.
We are lucky in that the impact of my not working will not be detrimental to our household income, but the issue I have been mentally dealing with is the loss of "my" income.
Being a SAHM is important to both of us so that is not a choice. I have always been able to support myself and not worried about financial pressures. I completely trust my husband to take care of myself and our child, but even so as a woman it is still a little disconcerting that I will no longer be contributing financially to our household, and that I will no longer have that paycheck coming in earned by my own work. i realize it is all part of the sacrifice of being a mother/parent, so it is worth it to me, but i did not anticipate such a feeling of loss. i thought i would welcome not working. but i know we are lucky in that financially we won't have to worry about the impact...
I had to take a GenEd financial class my freshman year of college and we read a fabulous book called "The Two Income Trap"
I don't ever see myself being a SAHM, although who know what the future brings, because I need a lot of intellectual stimulation to keep me sane (I work with kids now and those 3.5 hours a day almost kills me!). However, this book was really interesting to read and seems really helpful for any couple who sees themselves having children.
We want kids in the next 2-3 years. We are also thinking about buying a house. We are only using his income as a basis for what we can afford our mortgage to be, because although I want to continue working with 1 or 2 kids you never know, and I will lose income while on maternity leave. And it is unlikely that I would continure working with 3 small children. So I guess my answer is- we're planning for it ahead of time and saving for it now.
@ejs- I know! $1000 is standard for my area. I was shocked that calculator only had $300 automatically filled into it!
All the advice I've ever heard meshes with what Jacqi said -- save ahead for it. Someone once gave me the advice of putting the income whoever is planning to stay at home straight into whatever debts you are carrying, so that you 1. get used to your disposable income coming only out of the working parent's check and 2. hopefully pay off some loans/CCs so that when the time comes you have less going out each month.
I wish I knew what to do for the supplemental income, though.. I could use some ideas! Right now I stay at home, and I write high school study guides for a friend's home school curriculum company. I also am working on some secretarial projects for my FIL, who has his own psychological counseling service. If you have friends that are self-employed professionals like that, ask if maybe they'd pay you a set amount to prepare mailings for them, etc? Or if you're good at taxes, I know plenty of SAHMs who have charged to prepare people's tax returns for them. It's only once-a-year income, but it's better than nothing.
I haven't read all the responses, but as a mom (and a one-time SAHM) my biggest suggestion would be to live like you are a SAHM now to see what the reality of living on one income is like.
Take all the money you earn (and I mean ALL of it) and put it into an interest bearing account. If you can survive for a year or more on your FI's income alone, then you know that you can realistically be a SAHM. In addition, you will have a little cushion since having a baby is an added expense.
Although it seems like it's an easy concept going from two incomes to one, it really is a lot more involved than just clipping coupons. You also have to think of ways in which your expenses will increase. While you may be able to do without by getting rid of t.v., you may find that you drive more so that's more money on gas.
The best bet is to have a solid financial plan, and live like your a SAHM now. My two cents for what they're worth.
Sorry to be the voice of dissent but I don't think the daycare idea is a very good one. Why? Because I was the kid whose mom stayed home and opened a daycare. I hated it more than anything. I hated sharing all my toys (which the other kids broke), I hated the kids messing up my room, I hated sharing the attention of my mom with 6-8 other kids, I hated how she never had time to do stuff with me on the weekends and evenings because she was always drowning in regulatory paperwork and cleaning and snack prep and etc. It was a nightmare. Everyone was miserable. My dad hated it too because the garage got filled up with car seats and outdoor toys and the house was always filled with crying babies. My mom was always miserable. Daycare seems expensive but when you factor in the costs of running a business it is actually a VERY low paying job. My mom LOST money the first 7 years. Plus the house got destroyed from all the wear and tear of 6 boisterous kids running into things. My mom would have been much happier working at the mall, with regular hours and a normal paycheck. Opening a daycare is the last thing I would ever recommend to someone.
I want to tell you that staying home is actually cheaper for some people, but it was not for us. Here's the theory: When you stay home you spend less on gas, less on lunch (cause you arent going to pay $12/day for take-out with your co-workers), less likely to go through Starbucks and get your $6 latte, no need for expensive work clothes, etc.
Also, you wont have to pay for childcare.
I can tell you that I spend more on gas and more on food. I also spend more during the day because my outtings with Mia involve a shopping center with kids clothes and I cant resist, and usually a run through the pretzel shop AND Starbucks.
I write about the struggle with losing my identity quite a bit on my blog, but I always say that the money part is worth it because you can't put a price on getting to watch your children grow up. I'd rather be poor and watch Mia crawl for the first time rather than have $200 extra per month and have to hear about how awesome it was from the babysitter.
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Sooo... We're not planning to have kids for another year or two. We've both been raised by our parents while our moms stayed at home and value that choice. I will be a stay at home mom. We're very fortunate, because my job allows me to take up to 5 years of non paid leave and then come back in the same position as when you left. So we'll definitely do that: first kid, mat leave, second kid, mat leave and then 5 years unpaid.
I'm a bit stressed about what it will do to us, financially.. I'm considering taking care of other children, that will teach my children to socialize, will make money and will bring me back to a job I enjoy (I'm trained and started my career with kids, and completely changed paths to work for the gov.)
However, having a daycare is a huge commitment, and I'm not sure yet if I want to do that... What do you stay at home moms do to bring a little extra money in the household?