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Sorry you're feeling bummed. I think this is a common feeling for anyone who is not working or in school during the day.
How about getting up with your husband in the morning and showering right away. Get ready and go to the store. Even if it is just to pick up milk or an ingredient for dinner.
At least that way when you get home you will be a bit more energized and even if you decide to lounge for the rest of the day you wont feel guilty.
You may be doing this already, but showering/putting on real clothes always helps me get going. Wearing a robe until 10am usually means my entire day is shot.
@tranquility: That is a good idea. I do feel slightly better and more motivated on the days when I get up with my husband and make us coffee and breakfast or at least just coffee that we sit and drink together.
I will try also leaving with him in the morning. I'll need to think about my shopping list the night before but that shouldn't be too bad. If I have it ready in the morning and can leave with DH, that also means I'll have better pick of stuff at the store (rather than the more bare shelves I sometimes get by going after the lunch rush).
@LGenz: Yeah... that's been a big problem. If I don't have anything scheduled in the morning, I'm often in my lounge clothes until 10, 11 or even noon. That is really throwing off my days.
I work from home a lot, so I have to make sure I stay motivated and don't get lazy since I'm supposed to be working. Like the PPs said, getting up early, showering right away, getting dressed right after, making breakfast right after that, etc helps me stay in a "workday" routine. I know you aren't "working" right now but you're still a SAHW which can be a job in itself. Find a routine that forces you to be ready to go by mid-morning. Get your chores out of the way before lunch if possible. That way even if you do jump on the Bee after lunch and spend a few hours watching TV or perusing the internet, at least you still feel like you had a productive day.
I think any time you move to a new city where you don't know anyone, it's totally normal to go through a lonely period. One of my best friends moved back to her home state after living in NYC for 10 years and even though she had a full time job and was getting her MBA at night AND still had high school friends, etc. she was SUPER lonely and depressed for about the first year. And when I first moved to NYC right after college, that was definitely the lonliest time of my life - even though I had friends here.
The problem is you aren't in anyone's regular rotation of friends, you might get invited to a one off party or happy hour, but you don't have anyone to call up on a whim and go shopping, no guaranteed weekend plans.
The best advice I can give is to try and get involved, even if it means volunteering somewhere, and give it time. It takes time to establish a network of friends and a busy schedule. Keep going on job interviews, but if things aren't panning out then definitely look into volunteer opportunities.
Also, in the meanwhile while you're at home try and make a daily or weekly schedule. If you write down what needs to be accomplished and have a deadline for each item, that will give your days a little more structure and purpose. On the weekends, I used to walk around and explore my neighborhood a lot which was fun and today I still look back on that time in my life and remember discoveries I made and things I learned.
I go through a rut stage every winter, I guess the cold weather doesn't help. I hibernate during the winter time. But what I have find that helps me is when I get home, I change from my work clothes to something more comfy and I go bake and try out new baking ideas. That get's my juices going. Do you have a favorite hobby or activities that you can do around the house. I love to crochet also but I like to do that at night while chiling in front of the tv. Hope this helps a bit.
I know you mentioned you take riding lessons, but are there any other hobbies/sports outside of the house that you could do? What about working out or doing yoga? You might meet some new friends at a gym or yoga studio that way. Or look for things like art classes, cooking classes, etc. where you get out of the house while also doing something social.
@Mrs. Fireworks: If this round of interviews does not work out, I might take a break from looking and take either cooking or art classes. I just don't want to commit to a schedule of classes only to have to drop it due to getting a job.
@couawilou: I actually just went to the store to get stuff to make snickerdoodles. I'm not sure whether I'll make them tonight or tomorrow, but it helped get me a bit excited.
@KatNYC2011: Yumm, I've never made those, let me know how they turn out!
Is there anywhere you could do some volunteering? That might help you get out a bit during the day and give you some social interaction.
I was unemployed a few years ago, and I felt the same way. It was depressing to not have a purpose to your day. My recommendations would be to have a schedule, and to see if there's anything you can do consistently; exercise, volunteering, cleaning, etc. Or, are you interested in getting a pet? While you're home and not busy would be a fantastic time for a puppy.
@Future MrsB: We already have a cat. I've tried to talk my DH into getting a dog but we *just* moved here and hopefully I'll be working soon.
I'm also not 100% sure I want to deal with a puppy and house breaking while we live in an apartment building. If we had a house I'd be at the shelters in a minute looking for one to adopt.
@moderndaisy: I have been looking for places to volunteer, specifically animal shelters. But the "problem" seems to be that most shelters in major cities don't need volunteers. They already have too many. I ran into the same issue in NYC when I tried to volunteer at shelters there.
I did find a horseback riding club here that gets together to ride as well as having social events. I'm going to look into joining that. Maybe DH will get me a membership for Christmas.
@moderndaisy: I like your schedule idea too. I need to start making "ToDo" lists with deadlines. I am very good at meeting deadlines and being highly motivated when I've been working. I just have a really hard time doing it at home.
Thanks for everyone's suggestions. Just wanted to say today was a better day.
I got up with DH and got dressed right after we had our coffee.
I was out the door by 11am to go to Harrod's (as well as other places) to do some Christmas shopping. Didn't buy anything, but that's ok.
Then did some small errands and grocery shopping and got home around 4.
I'm still deciding whether to make cookies tonight or save those for tomorrow.
DH has a work dinner tonight, so maybe I'll do them after I have dinner and have fresh cookies and milk for dessert...
Moving to the UK mid winter must be sh1t. Much as there are many great things about the UK, the greyness and cold would get anyone down. Plus being away from friends and family.....you're a strong person to have done it in the first place. If it helps give you any persepctive, I have a number of friends who have moved to Australia in the last few years and they have all said the first 18 months are really hard, but once you get through them, it all gets alot easier.
If you think your mood is lower, there are these great natural light lamps that wake you up by getting gradually lighter the closer it gets to you getting up in the morning. You can use them during the day too. They genuinely make me wake up feeling much more motivated and energetic. I think they're called SAD lamps (seasonal affective disorder). I'm not saying you have this problem! But the lamps are great for lifting your mood a bit.
That your husband has routine and you don't, but are used to having some, is probably contributing to your lack of enthusiasm for things. You will get a job at some point and then you'll make all the friends your need to make you feel like you have a life here. Until then, maybe try to structure your days as much as possible, plan for future things, and make the most of the free time you have now because once you have that job, you'll miss it!
@ticatica: Yeah, it is really hard that DH has his "routine" and I don't.
I always want to fill our evenings with doing things or seeing his coworkers or something, whereas he's had a hard day at work and just wants to relax at home.
I've always thought I'm mildly affected by SAD. Probably comes from growing up in Southern CA where the weather is almost always nice and then moving to NYC and now to London. The winters REALLY get to me.
I just baked a batch of cookies though, and the apartment smells like them, so that helps to lift my spirits a bit. Just smells warm and homey.
I am having the same problem (I'm also in London). I find it so much easier to hide under the duvet all day. The early sunsets do not help.
Where do you take riding lessons? I have been looking for somewhere, but with the cold my spoiled so-cal self finds the idea of riding in the wet/rain unapealing.
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Beekeeper
I have been searching for a job since moving to the UK at the beginning of October. Things are going well, but very slowly and with the holidays coming up I'm sure they'll get slower.
I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do things during the day. The days are VERY short and it's gotten fairly cold recently.
Sometimes I'll have great productive days around the apartment. I'll clean, vacuum, organize, do laundry, cook, etc. Other days I have interviews or riding lessons so those days are good too.
But some days, like today, I just feel really isolated, unmotivated, and lonely. I have a few things I need from the store and I guess I'll go eventually.
Does anyone have any helpful things to help get me through these days where I'm just in a funk? The worst part is, when I have a day where I'm in the funk and get nothing accomplished, I feel even worse by the time DH gets home. I am just so used to having a job and having a highly scheduled and busy life. I've now left all of that to be here with my DH and I am really happy that we made the move but sometimes, it gets really really lonely.
I don't really know what kind of help I'm looking for. I guess adjusting is just hard to do.