Post # 1
Is it considered rude if you are the only married groomsman (or bridesmaid) and would prefer to spend time with your spouse instead of staying with the other BM or GM?
My best man is getting married about 5 months after our wedding and his is a destination wedding (San Diego). All of his GM are staying at the best man’s house that week. However, I will be married and my wife and I are planning to use this as an end of summer mini-vacation weekend as well. I will be the only married GM. She is not part of the wedding party, so the free time would be spent catching up with each other. I wouldnt get to see her during any of the required events which is fine. Would it be rude to make our own accomodation arrangements, espcially since she will not know anyone else in town? What would you personally do in this sitaution?
Post # 2
Groom-by-the-sea: My take is that the groom gets you for the wedding day only (plus the rehearsal and bachelor party). So I think it is fine to make your own arrangements and spend most of the week with your wife (including staying with her each night). It’s also fine to skip the week long celebrations and fly in the night before the wedding. The groom gets you for a day, not a week.
Post # 3
My husband rented a condo, and only the single guys crashed with him (The DJ one GM, and my bridesman) but the rest of the wedding party (THE best man, My MOH and one of the GM were a married couple, and my other married BM) stayed with their respective partners, be it at home, or at the hotel. The thought to have the wedding party stay with us was only out of giving them a place to stay if they needed it, to help with cost, but it was ultimately their final decision!!
I don’t see why it would be a reqiurement for you to have to stay there with them, also considering your wife would be alone somewhere else.
Post # 4
I think it’s fine to spend the time with your wife, especially because she is not involved in the wedding festivities nor does she know anyone.
Post # 5
Since you are going to be there for all required activities I think it is definitely ok to have other accommodation arrangements. If the groom demands you stay with him for the whole time that is ridiculous on his part. Not saying he is, but if he does when you tell him you are arranging different accommodation.
ETA: that being said, it might be a good idea if you stay with the guys the night before the wedding so you’re there for getting ready on the wedding day. Or just wake up super early and join them, you might want to talk to the groom about that night.
Post # 6
I would not stay with them for the entire week-I would feel bad leaving my spouse alone that long in a new place alone. I would probably stay with the bride the night before the wedding just to make getting ready easier (although it doesn’t take GMs as long as BMs) but I don’t think it would be rude to skip that.
Post # 7
Most certainly book a room with your wife and stay with her.
Post # 8
Thanks Bees! They have not set a wedding time yet, but even if it is early, I will go ahead and book for my wife and I. Plus most hotels have a queen bed so it just makes sense. I will take your helpful sugestions in mind. Thank you!
Post # 9
Groom-by-the-sea: I think this post is very considerate of you. I do not see any reason why you shouldn’t stay with the wifey 🙂
Post # 10
Groom-by-the-sea: There is nothing wrong with booking your own accomodation and spending time with your wife. Your only obligation is to attend the scheduled events.