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Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Just use the name you want when you have a child. You can't control what other people do, just what you do and it's unhealthy to obsess over something like this. If you're really concerned, keep the name to yourself.
Thanks! I know the top part came off as worrying a bit. I admit, I did at first, but now I'm good with it. I'm just wondering if anybody has experienced their name being "stolen". There are plenty of other things to worry about--or, as I tell my students, "if you want to worry about something, worry about world hunger, that's a serious problem!".
I would just let this go to the back burner until it actually becomes an issue. The chance that she'd open 1001 names, and pick the exact one you would is well.... 1 in 1001.
You could "call it" that's what one of my cousins did. It was a horrible name... so I don't think she rocked and boats. If they do take your name, then you can still use it. I have a bunch of first cousins with the same first names, and all the boys have the same middle names, including brothers. It's not that big of a deal.
@keepsmiling19:The name game is serious for some people. I have a friend that was pissed that another friend used a name that she openly claimed. The friend used it as her son's middle name. She was pissed and thinking about not being friendswith her anymore. I encourage her to talk to the other friend about it. They worked it out but they both were pissy about it. I don't know how or why the hell I got involved. That's another story, sorry about the vent.
Try not to worry about it.. The chances of her picking that name is slim to none, unless you have shared the name with her. I know how you feel though because I have had a few names picked out but because I am about to be 31 (and still no children at this time), friends and family members have named their children names that I would have chosen....just by coincident...but I just think of other names and keep it moving.
Congrats to you and good luck with the wedding planning!
My guy and I like David or James as a boy's name. So does my best friend. I asked her if she'd mind/care if our boys had the same name. She didn't. We live in different countries, so it's not likely to be real confusing to relatives. A cousin's wife also has my name, his family has two Graces (Grandma and granddaughter), my mom is Becky as is his sister, my brother used the same middle name for his son as I want for mine... You might be able to switch a first and middle name, or (depending on what adult family members thought) it'd be cool to have a little cousin with your name.
The first person to have the baby gets the name. That's just the way it works. And, you don't even know if they're going to pick the name you like. You might never have a boy and might never get to use that name. And, in turn, they might not have a boy, either.
I don't think there's a law that says you can't name your child the same name as a cousin.
@BanditGirl: I agree. That's why I would never, ever tell that to my FBIL and FSIL. It wouldn't be appropriate. The kids could share the same name, but it may be a little too confusing. I would probably put on my big girl pants (I get to choose the first boy's name, FI is choosing the first girl's name, as long as neither of us have huge objections to the name) and choose another name.
Yep. My "friend" told me that she wanted to name her not-yet-conceived son the same thing I do. I said "Cool." And I was thinking "It's not like they'll be hanging out that much." Lol.
Just curious, is it a common name or a name that's recently popular? If not, I'd seriously not worry about it.
my coworker had pregnancy nightmares over her SIl stealing the name mikayla - thankfully SIL had a boy because there would have been tears over it
my thoughts are the first to have a baby gets to name the him/her anything they want and to heck with what others feel - you cant claim a babies name
btw, my hubbys family is greek and MIL has 6 siblings and every single sibling has a son named Con (after the grandfather), yep there are seven Cons in the family and shock horror, its not. a. big. deal.
I have to admit, I am one of those people who likes to claim names even though I'm not even pregnant yet! My sisters-in-law and I have had many discussions where we openly state what names we want our children to have so that there's no later hurt.
I wouldn't care as much if a distant relative chose the same name but not immediate family.
Thats why i stopped sharing names with anyone, I got tired of having to keep thinking up new ideas. Now I have a list of new ideas for when we eventually have kids in a few years and I'm scared to share them even with my FI because it seems like whenever I tell a name a while later it becomes popular. I know I'm paranoid but after it happened multiple times I decided even if it was just a coincidence I wasn't taking any extra chances, lol.
I never heard of a rule where there can't be two children named the same thing in the same family. You could still name your child the same thing even if your FBIL and FSIL name their kid that name.
I didn't say a word about our name so that if it did happen to be the same name as someone it was kind of a "whoops, how did that happen"?
Our name isn't that common though.
I would only worry if the name is aiden, braden, jaden, caden or jack these days :)
We've had a couple of name conversations and I have never told anyone else the names that we like. They're fairly unusual, but if someone close to me randomly picked them for their child, I'd have to get over it! TBH, we'll probably change our minds by the time we have children of our own.
RainStorm. x
I would just keep quiet about the boy name that you love. My opinion is that if they have a boy and choose "your" name there is nothing that can be done because they had their baby first. It's their right to choose whatever name they like for their son.
The other thing is that it appears that you will not be trying to have kids in the immediate future since your signature indicates that your wedding date is 1.5 years away. By the time you and your fiance get around to having kids you may have changed what kinds of names you like and not want to use this specific boy's name any longer. I don't think it's OK to claim a name if you are not pregnant.
YES!!! My brother and his Fiance found out they were expecting a baby 3 months after me. We were both having little girls. I was very excited at first...the thought of our girls being so close in age. I knew his Fiance was not a nice person and a kniving witch haha but I never thought she would do what she did. I did not want to disclose the name we chose until she has picked a name. She came to me and told me the decided on naming her "Harley". Unique and different and I was supportive. I then told her that I loved the name Taylor. The VERY NEXT DAY she and my brother came over and said "We choose a name!!!! We are naming her Taylor!!!! Yay" I was dumfounded and pissed! I could not believe that she had the guts to come over to my house less than 24 hours after I told her I was naming my daughter Taylor to announce that she was naming her daughter Taylor! She acted like we never had the conversation. I pulled my brother aside to discuss what happened but he acted like she would never do that. I ended up going back to the name I loved as a child which I ended up loving and it fit my daughter much better.
It was still amazing to me that she had the guts to steal my name. My brother eventually saw her true colors and decided he was better off without her. Theya re raising Taylor in a respectful relationship now from seperate homes : )
DH and I have had some names picked for a long time, but I've never gone through anyone blatantly stealing any of those names.
I did, however, rule out one favorite name (Savannah) for a girl after DH's sister and brother-in-law named their first baby Hannah. I loved Savannah, but then I thought how weird it would be if we had a daughter and she and her cousin were always referred to as "Hannah and Savannah." LOL.
We have talked about baby name thiefs and agreed that if friends stole any of our names (or used them), we'd still name our kids what we always wanted. If family members end up using the names, though, we'd have to scrap the names we loved. It's easier to have two kids of the same name in a social circle than it would be to have cousins with the same name or similar ones.. IMHO. :)
How does one "steal" a name? It's not like "Makayla" or "Jayden" or whatever are super original, novel name ideas that nobody else in the world has thought of or used. I do not get this idea that one has the right to lay claim to names that have already been used thousands of times over, especially when there there isn't even a baby in the picture yet.
I agree with @BanditGirl: and @eloping:- first one to pop out the baby of suitable gender gets to use the name. And if you now feel like you can't give your child the same name, that's your own hangup. There's no law against cousins sharing names. It's only a problem because you made it one.
okay. I'm gonna get shot. But nothing drives me more crazy than baby name stealers! my aunt is one of them! we were at her house and she told everyone she was planning to name her baby one name (can't remember it now), and her sis in law (not on our side) said she had always loved the name Connor. It was a family name and she said she knew she would use it.Now I know that connor is super common and blah blah blah but my aunt had a name already, then, low and behold....we visit at the hospital, and the babies name was connor. The sis was obviously annoyed but loves connor to death so I guess its not a big deal, but i would have had to have said something.
"Connor? where'd you get htat idea....I thought it was blah blah blah..."
It's good that you're not stressing over it. Chances are they won't choose the name you love anyway. I've never heard of it actually happening. But I have discussed with friends of mine what their reaction would be. I have a friend who has been adamant about a name she'd like (she's not prego) and how angry she would be if anyone took it first. She's told everyone the name so she can hold them accountable if they ever did so. But she's just like that, you know the type that just enjoys being angry with others. I wouldn't mind using the same name as a friend. But in a family, it might be a lil different. I still wouldn't say anything. First dibbs I guess.
Baby names are exciting to think of, whether you are expecting a baby or not. If you're like me you've been planning what to name your children since you were a kid yourself. Of course you want the most perfect name possible and yes, it might be nice if it kept it's unique quality and wasn't used by anyone you know, but is that really something to be so stressed about? If someone does end up with your name and it really bothers you then I bet you can think of another one just as great, or maybe even better. Or if you just can't part with your first pick then keep it!
My sisters name is Hannah and our first cousin (who we are very close with) is aslo named Hannah. When we are all together as a family we just use thier middle names. So my sister becomes Hannah Monroe and my cousin becomes Hannah Jane. I think their names sound cute with their middle names added on and problem solved!
I think the important thing is that you are having a beautiful baby! And no matter what name your baby ends up with you will be happy : ]
When my FI's Brother and SIL got pregnant, my FMIL said she had a dream and that it was a boy and they named him Ryan. I said that was too funny because I wanted to name my kid Ryan if I ever had a boy.
Needless to say they had a boy and named him Ryan. That's what I get for opening my mouth. :-/ Doesn't help that the girl doesn't like me either ha.
ugh i duno about stealing, but when Fi's bro and SIL got pregnant, FI said "just dont use the name Grace!" and they gasped, bc that was one of their top 2 names. thank GOD they had a boy
My sister and I both talked about what we want to name our kids. Luckily, we have really different tastes and none of ours overlapped. We were both pissed, though, that our top choices were taken by Twilight characters (Edward for me and Isabella for my sis :P).
my MOH is preggo....and i can't bring myself to share my favorite names with her for fear she might use them. i think we all sorta feel this way deep down!
LOL I used to work Customer Service. I had a pregnant co worker and a customer came up to her (who was also pregnant) and they started gushing about all things pregnancy. The lady asked my co-worker what she was naming the child and when my co-worker said the name, the customer decided that would be the perfect name for her child as well. My co-worker was so mad. But it was funny :)
One of my ex-boyfriends stole the baby name I loved. You know when you're young and in love, you talk about baby names? Well, when we were dating, I used to always say that I loved the name Isabella.
He got his next girlfriend pregnant like three years after we broke up - and they named their daughter Isabella! (And this was like five or six years ago, before Twilight was popular and Isabella was a popular name)
Do I think it was stolen....yes, very very likely. But, we don't run in the same circles so it doesn't really matter.
But, for that reason, that I know people actually do steal names, I will not tell a soul the names my FI and I have picked out for our future babies :)
I think unless you're expecting, you should probably keep the names to yourself. Once you're pregnant and actually intend on using a name, then I might be a little offended if someone "took" the name I was planning on using for my child. But I guess they couldn't actually "take" it unless they were further along than me & just named their baby first.
I'd actually be a little put off if someone told me that the name I had for my soon to be born baby was "their name" and I couldn't use it - if they were not even pregnant, nor thinking about being pregnant sometime soon, etc. (Not talking about close friends, relatives, etc. who have previously told me what names they love... that's different. I have childhood friends that have told me their list of names since we were little, I'd never use those names.)
My ex stole my baby name :( He got a girl preganant right after we broke up. I think he did it to spite me. Its such a horrible thing to do.
@lilsneakers: I agree times a million. I find the whole thing to be fairly ridiculous.
I don't share my favorite names with anyone who could potentially "steal" them. My FSIL is currently pregnant and FI is under strict orders not to share our names with them. If it comes up in conversation, I normally just make up some random names that I don't hate.
Not gonna lie, if my FSIL/FBIL chose one of my favorite names I would be pretty peeved since I've wanted these names for as long as I can remember. Thankfully, it appears my FSIL has terrible taste in names so I have nothing to worry about. :)
I kinda went through the same thing when my sister was preggo with #4. I mentioned what I wanted to name my 1st born son, not even dating anyone at the time, and her husband commented on how much he liked that name. Right away I got upset and they could tell. I did my best to start suggesting names based on my sisters 'taste' for names. Praise the Lord they didn't pick my name and it's still #1 for me. :) I totally understand where you're coming from. Good Luck!!!!
I doubt they would choose the same name, but I won't be sharing my names just in case!
Well, I had a name I really loved and my sister knew it. But it's not the only name I loved (there are a few girl names I love) For babygirl #2 (I don't have baby #1 yet), she was having a really hard time finding a name she liked. A few weeks before the baby was due, she told me she really liked "my" name. I privately got upset over it, talked to my mom about it, etc, but then ultimately decided that no name is any one person's name and that maybe I would not even have a girl so why should I try to claim a name? When the baby was born, they could not decide on a name. She asked me if I would be upset if she "took" "my" name. I told her she should use "my" name and kept assuring her it was fine. She ultimately used "my" name with my complete blessing...I love it and cannot imagine the baby having any other name.
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Edited for clarification
Hi Bees,
I am just looking to see if anyone has experienced this. I'm not worrying over it, just curious over answers and hearing about other people's experiences.
My FI just told me that his brother and SIL announced that they're pregnant. FI and I have talked about our baby names forever. I have loved a certain boy's name for a long time, and I admit, I would be a little upset if they had a boy and happened to use the name.
My question for the hive is, have you ever experienced "name stealing"? Have you shared your names with other members of your family? We aren't going to say anything, just hope that they don't like our name. There are so many out there, we're just going to play the odds. Besides, they are having a child first, and there's no guarantee that we will have a boy (when we reach that stage) anyways. I'm not going to go crazy and ballistic on them if they happen to choose our name--it is a common name, but I would be a little bummed out. I'm sure we would find another name that we loved just as much!