Post # 1
Edited for clarification
I am just looking to see if anyone has experienced this. I’m not worrying over it, just curious over answers and hearing about other people’s experiences.
My FI just told me that his brother and SIL announced that they’re pregnant. FI and I have talked about our baby names forever. I have loved a certain boy’s name for a long time, and I admit, I would be a little upset if they had a boy and happened to use the name.
My question for the hive is, have you ever experienced “name stealing”? Have you shared your names with other members of your family? We aren’t going to say anything, just hope that they don’t like our name. There are so many out there, we’re just going to play the odds. Besides, they are having a child first, and there’s no guarantee that we will have a boy (when we reach that stage) anyways. I’m not going to go crazy and ballistic on them if they happen to choose our name–it is a common name, but I would be a little bummed out. I’m sure we would find another name that we loved just as much!
Post # 3
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. Just use the name you want when you have a child. You can’t control what other people do, just what you do and it’s unhealthy to obsess over something like this. If you’re really concerned, keep the name to yourself.
Post # 4
Thanks! I know the top part came off as worrying a bit. I admit, I did at first, but now I’m good with it. I’m just wondering if anybody has experienced their name being “stolen”. There are plenty of other things to worry about–or, as I tell my students, “if you want to worry about something, worry about world hunger, that’s a serious problem!”.
Post # 5
I would just let this go to the back burner until it actually becomes an issue. The chance that she’d open 1001 names, and pick the exact one you would is well…. 1 in 1001.
Post # 6
You could “call it” that’s what one of my cousins did. It was a horrible name… so I don’t think she rocked and boats. If they do take your name, then you can still use it. I have a bunch of first cousins with the same first names, and all the boys have the same middle names, including brothers. It’s not that big of a deal.
Post # 7
@keepsmiling19:The name game is serious for some people. I have a friend that was pissed that another friend used a name that she openly claimed. The friend used it as her son’s middle name. She was pissed and thinking about not being friendswith her anymore. I encourage her to talk to the other friend about it. They worked it out but they both were pissy about it. I don’t know how or why the hell I got involved. That’s another story, sorry about the vent.
Post # 8
Try not to worry about it.. The chances of her picking that name is slim to none, unless you have shared the name with her. I know how you feel though because I have had a few names picked out but because I am about to be 31 (and still no children at this time), friends and family members have named their children names that I would have chosen….just by coincident…but I just think of other names and keep it moving.
Congrats to you and good luck with the wedding planning!
Post # 9
My guy and I like David or James as a boy’s name. So does my best friend. I asked her if she’d mind/care if our boys had the same name. She didn’t. We live in different countries, so it’s not likely to be real confusing to relatives. A cousin’s wife also has my name, his family has two Graces (Grandma and granddaughter), my mom is Becky as is his sister, my brother used the same middle name for his son as I want for mine… You might be able to switch a first and middle name, or (depending on what adult family members thought) it’d be cool to have a little cousin with your name.
Post # 10
The first person to have the baby gets the name. That’s just the way it works. And, you don’t even know if they’re going to pick the name you like. You might never have a boy and might never get to use that name. And, in turn, they might not have a boy, either.
I don’t think there’s a law that says you can’t name your child the same name as a cousin.
Post # 11
@BanditGirl: I agree. That’s why I would never, ever tell that to my FBIL and FSIL. It wouldn’t be appropriate. The kids could share the same name, but it may be a little too confusing. I would probably put on my big girl pants (I get to choose the first boy’s name, FI is choosing the first girl’s name, as long as neither of us have huge objections to the name) and choose another name.
Post # 12
Yep. My “friend” told me that she wanted to name her not-yet-conceived son the same thing I do. I said “Cool.” And I was thinking “It’s not like they’ll be hanging out that much.” Lol.
Post # 13
Just curious, is it a common name or a name that’s recently popular? If not, I’d seriously not worry about it.
Post # 14
my coworker had pregnancy nightmares over her SIl stealing the name mikayla – thankfully SIL had a boy because there would have been tears over it
my thoughts are the first to have a baby gets to name the him/her anything they want and to heck with what others feel – you cant claim a babies name
btw, my hubbys family is greek and MIL has 6 siblings and every single sibling has a son named Con (after the grandfather), yep there are seven Cons in the family and shock horror, its not. a. big. deal.
Post # 15
I have to admit, I am one of those people who likes to claim names even though I’m not even pregnant yet! My sisters-in-law and I have had many discussions where we openly state what names we want our children to have so that there’s no later hurt.
I wouldn’t care as much if a distant relative chose the same name but not immediate family.
Post # 16
Thats why i stopped sharing names with anyone, I got tired of having to keep thinking up new ideas. Now I have a list of new ideas for when we eventually have kids in a few years and I’m scared to share them even with my FI because it seems like whenever I tell a name a while later it becomes popular. I know I’m paranoid but after it happened multiple times I decided even if it was just a coincidence I wasn’t taking any extra chances, lol.