Post # 1
I have a frustrating issue. I can’t tell if I’m being overly dramatic but I feel like my future brother in law is trying to upstage our wedding. My fiance and I had been friends for 7 years and dating for 2 years before we got engaged. Exactly one week after my fiance proposed to me his older brother proposed to his girlfriend of 3 weeks. We asked them if they could give us a little space between our weddings so we could each have our special day but they scheduled it 1 1/2 months before our wedding. Today I found out that they are having it at the exact same location! The way they told us is my brother-in-law’s fiance emailed me saying how “cool” it was we’re getting married at the same location. I don’t feel the same at all. It’s not cool, it’s super weird but I don’t know how to communicate this without seeming mean. I don’t think they would change it even if we asked them to anyway. Now I’m afraid that they’ll copy my wedding and it will take away from our day. I don’t know how to handle this situation!
Post # 3
Even though we each only get one day, this situation seems a bit weird. Do you live in a place where there are only a couple of venues to choose from? Is it a venue that is close to their hearts too? Place of worship for all of you? I’m sorry it sounds like your feelings are hurt. I hope they have some great explanation.
Post # 4
That is frustrating. It’s not unheard of to use the same location as someone else and doesn’t mean anything other than they like the location too. If their wedding is an exact carbon copy of yours, that is justifiable to get upset over. Honestly, there is enough of a gap that people will likely forget their wedding by the time yours rolls around.
Keep your ideas to yourselves and try not to stress over it since there really isn’t anything you can do other than change the location and the date.
It is too bad that they don’t see anything wrong with it (it’s not rude but it is very strange nonetheless). But some people don’t care who they offend, regardless if they know it’s wrong to do so or not.
Post # 5
@edub: It sounds like it is at a location that is special to them so my FH and I are going to look for another location. But we’re from a small town so it might just end up being the same place :/ I understand that it may be special to them but I guess I’m cynical because of the timing of everything. Also the way the told us about the same location, not very considerate that they may step on a few toes.
Post # 6
@Ember78: Thanks! That’s really good advice! 🙂
Post # 7
@jessicamourine: My Uncle C and Aunt K got engaged and set their date. Then my Uncle J and Aunt J got engaged AFTER them and set their date exactly one week before Uncle C and Aunt K. It caused a lot of family problems, and they didn’t speak for quite some time. You’ll forget about it eventually, but I can see being pissed.
Post # 8
If it’s that important to you to change the venue, is it possible to travel to a larger nearby city? People travel to weddings all the time, including the couple going to a nearby town where they don’t live, so it shouldn’t be an issue.
Post # 9
My BIL got married a week after us- at our honeymoon destination. We were thrilled that they could have the wedding that they wanted and the honeymoon we wanted. It did not in anyway klessen our day or theirs because they were close together.
Honestly I think it is no big deal- should they not have the wedding of their dreams because you both chose the same location?
Post # 10
how annoying!! don’t tell the any of the details to your wedding, I have a strange feeling you would see it at theirs if you do. I don’t think the location thing is that big of a deal, I would just relax and enjoy planning your wedding.
Post # 11
I was totally expecting to see some crazy bridezilla rant when I opened this thread, but this is far from that. I would be so pissed if I were in your situation. It’s already inconsiderate enough that they have to plan the wedding less than 2mos. before yours, but do they really have to use the same venue? This has got to be some sort of joke. Are you sure they were serious? Who does that?
Post # 12
I’m sorry to say, but I don’t think there’s much you can do about the wedding date or the venue. If I were you, I would just be extra guarded about the details of my wedding and keep quiet about any good ideas I have. Use your friends and fellow bees as a sounding board instead of family members, and that way there’s no chance of them finding anything out through the grapevine.
It could all be coincidence, but I know I would be a little suspicious too.
Post # 13
@jessicamourine: As a PP said, please keep all ideas to yourself. Even tell your Fiance too. Do not tell colors, centerpiece ideas, or anything special you are planning. I’ve seen a lot of Bees here who have had friends and family copy them. Learn the art of “We don’t know yet” or “You will see on the wedding day” and change the convo.
Post # 14
DO NOT tell any details to them, anymore! I am just saying this because you need to be looking out for them to steal your ideas, too.
Post # 15
Sure it might seem fishy but I wouldn’t get too upset over it. Just keep your details to yourself, let them blab all the details of theirs and adjust yours accordingly if you feel the need. I know it causes alot of stress you don’t want, planning around other people from personal experience. We set our date and three of our friends get married 3 hours to 3 weeks after us. I am overly giving of my plans since we are the first date and I don’t want people(we share friends) to think they copied us or that we dominated the good stuff ; ). They deserved unique special days too. So if it isn’t to be a pain maybe they will do the same? We have a couple that copied one thing and I just take it as a compliment, I had a beautiful idea worth copying!
Post # 16
I’d feed her all kinds of weird ideas, as if you’re doing it for your own wedding. Then see if she steals them.