(Closed) Step-brother's girlfriend at our intimate wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
40 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t think its terrible. I’m actually not even inviting my step-sister. I don’t even care if it hurts my stepmother. She and my dad need to look at the situation and realize in the 20 years they’ve been married, my stepsister has barely spoken a word to me, completely ignored me for entire weekends when i’d visit, and when she would speak to me she was rude. We are pretty much strangers whose parents happen to be married to one another.

I am also having an intimiate wedding and it would be beyond uncomfortable to have my stepsister there. Also the few times my stepsister has been around my mother (her stepdad’s exwife) she has been extremely rude to my mom, and i am not putting my mom in an even more uncomfortable situation.  I don’t know yet how my stepmother will react to her daughter not being invited. But its not like there’s any relationship to save.

 I want my wedding to be only those i am close to. I am not close to my stepmother at all, but she as my dad’s wife has to be invited cause they are a long time married couple. But I drew the line at my stepmother. I wasn’t going to invite any more relatives just cause of their “title” such as stepsister. If I don’t have a close relationship with them, they aren’t invited.

I think with an intimiate wedding you can invite and not invite those you want. When you have a bigger wedding and invite all siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, it would be more of a slight to not invite 1 cousin or 1 sibling. But intimiate weddings are for those you are closest to. If you aren’t close to stepbrother’s girlfriend or even your stepbrother, i see nothing wrong with not inviting them.

Post # 4
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Don’t invite him. If he’s always made you feel like shit, you don’t need that near you on your wedding day. 

Post # 6
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I wouldn’t purposely leave out the girlfriend, I would just not invite either of them.

Post # 7
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

She may be your future sister-in-law, and will most certainly be the mother of your future neice/nephew. Do you really want to poison that relationship with a wedding invitation snub?

Post # 8
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with PPs that you shouldn’t invite either of them at all. Don’t cause more drama than you have to. If you liked him and hated her, that would be different, but I don’t see any reason why he needs to be at your wedding. 

Post # 10
9431 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you’re inviting him you should invite her IMO.  Don’t invite him and that solves the problem.  But if it would really hurt your step-father I would suck it up and invite them both.

Post # 12
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Truthfully, you can invite whomever you please.

You are obliged to no one.

BUT if it would keep the peace in the family to invite him, then I think you need to do so.

As for the Girlfriend, well I take it based on their status (pregnant, presumably living together) they are a social unit within your family circle.

So as He (and by extension her) are family… they should be invited as a two-some.

— — —-

It is times like these when we learn to take deep breaths !!

As they say, you can choose your friends, you can’t really do the same when it comes to family.


(( HUGS ))


Post # 13
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Don’t invite them. If your step-dad has a problem with it, that’s his issue. Not yours. Even your mom is on board with it. He can deal. 

Post # 14
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think you either invite them both or neither of them.

Post # 15
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t invite him.  Especially since it’s such an intimate affair.  I didn’t invite one of my Uncle’s to my wedding because he was atrocious to my mom when my parents got divorced and I didn’t want him there. period.  My dad completely understood and it was never an issue. I haven’t even seen him in years and if you only see your step-brother once a year, I think you would be o.k. just not inviting him. Hey, space is very limited! 

Post # 16
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@BeeandBeeBride27:  If they’re not married or living together, send the invitation to him only.  I doubt he’d come either way but no plus one should help.

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