(Closed) step dad vs father

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

EXACT SAME SITUATION. My step dad basically became my dad at around 11 years old. I would see my dad maybe once a year for the holidays, but we never call eachother or anything. This was a real struggle for me aswell since I wanted my step dad to be the one walking down the aisle, but I knew my dad would be crushed. So I’m doing a compromise: In a Jewish wedding both parents walk the bride down the aisle, so my mom and my step dad will walk together to half way down the aisle, my step dad will go take his place under the chuppah (alter) and my dad will walk down the aisle and take his place beside my mom, then I will walk out. I know, super complicated. But i’ve seen it done and it’s actually quite sweet. Don’t know what kind of ceremony you are having, but maybe you can work something in that suits everyone… My dad, who frankly doesnt really care usually, was super emotional and flattered when I asked him to be a part of the ceremony (because he assumed he would not be…)

As for the speech, I say let your step dad do it! I would sit down and have a little talk with you dad before the wedding and let him know what it means to you that everything goes off smoothly.

What’s your thoughts on father/daughter dance? I don’t think I will do one at all.

Post # 4
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Argh I have the same situation do I decided both my dad and step dad will walk me half way down the isle, then they will hand me to my mum who will finish it and give me away 🙂


All three if them will come in our wedding vehicle with the bridal party do everyone is involved 🙂

Post # 6
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If your Step-Dad is more of a Dad then go with him hun.

My biological mother went from my life when I was 9. She since has been a cause of pain when ever i speak to her but STILL thinks she will be invited to the wedding! HELL NO!

The best advice I can give you is to go with your heart. In the end if you pick someone just to avoid tension you will regret not having what you truely want.

Post # 7
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

my best friend had both her dad and step dad walk her down the aisle, but she had a good relationship with both.  It’s an honor to give the bride away so if he had no real part in raising you I agree that I wouldn’t want him to either.  Your mother is totally ok to do but if you feel like you want your step dad to do it then don’t let you dad have anything to do with stopping that.

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