Post # 1
I have a dilemma with my future hubbys family. He lost his mum back in 2007 and by 2008 less than a year after his mums death his dad was remarried. Since then the family dynamic has changed considerably, his dad concentrates all his energys on his new family. (If i were to strart listng some of the appauling hurtful things that have occured i’d be here all day) he negelcts his “biological” family including his grandchildren, as you can imagine i feel very infuriated by his behaviour but my H2B finds it easier to keep the peace.
We are having a wedding on the smaller side, my parents are payng for the majority and we are also contributing, there has been no offer of any help from my H2B’s family. We are not close to his new wifes son and daughter, who also have parents and children we do not want to sacrifice friends we have known for 10-20 plus years in favour of them, we feel that inviting them to the night doo would be a good compromise, although they are expecting to be invited to the whole day. I know that this will cause a huge fuss and the new wife will have plenty to say and try to take over. Personally i’m not willing to budge or let her have her way. I never realised how stressful weddings could be!!!
Post # 3
I would invite FIL, SMIL, and all step siblings and spouses, but not their children or parents.
And yes, weddings are very very stressful. I went through a bottle of tums a month in planning.
Post # 4
If Dad and SM treat FDH as second class family, there is no need to extend invites beyond Dad and SM.
Post # 5
@juanita.kelly.9: Thank you thats exactly what i think we should do, otherwise it means us having to find extra money to have them there, as we have a maximum of 50 to the day which is full. I feel that because they have made no offer of a contribution that they have no say on the guest list.
Post # 6
@nyscpa2be: Thanks for your advice
Post # 7
We’re in a somewhat similar situation. His parents are divorced and his father remarried when my fiance was in college. Needless to say, we have no real relationship with the step family, yet his father expects that they will all be invited.
I would just say to put your foot down. We are only inviting his father and stepmother, plus his father’s side of the family. I would also probably invite step-siblings but in our case that isn’t applicable because he doesn’t have any.
I also am not a fan of tiered invites. I’d say invite for the whole shebang or not at all.