Post # 1
I know that many Bees on here, including myself, have many things that upset them from time to time, and things go wrong and we come along here and sound off. but i do just want to share some good vibes with you too.
I have been married before and so has my FI. we both have kids from previous marriages, the oldest being 25 down to aged 21. we have been together 15 years and i have watched his children grow up, and love them very much.
all 4 of them meet up and go clubbing sometimes, and there are loads of pics of them all together on facebook. i think if me and FI hadnt got together, they would still have become friends somehow.
they have always been 100% repectful to me, and when FI told them we are getting married….they both rang me and said congratulations, and said ITS ABOUT TIME!!!
i felt great, it was approval. and my kids are really happy about it too. when i asked the girls if they would be my bridesmaids, they squeeled……..try stopping me! YAY!
i feel so lucky to have such a wonderful pile of kids…….and this makes me happy. it could have been very different, i hear stories all the time about how stepkids break up the relationship etc etc……and i really feel so fortunate.
and not trying to rub salt in anyones wounds…..but i just needed to post something nice, something i am happy and proud of. not all step families are out of hand, sometimes it can enhance your own family, and i feel it has for me.
below is a picture of my daughter (the one on the right) and one of FIs daughters….You can see they are close…..i think its wonderful
Post # 3
Thats awesome. Its good when you have such a great family bond. You are truly blessed. Very exciting 🙂
Post # 4
That’s a great story. 🙂 That is how I am with my step-siblings and half-siblings. We are a hodge podge family but couldn’t picture it any other way. We range from age 31 to 7 (there are 7 of us). Crazy, right? But it works. Thanks for sharing.
Post # 5
@anne B: Thank you for this 🙂
I have an amazing little bonus son (who I talk about on here all of the time, but why not share stories again, right?) He’s still just a little guy at almost 4 years old, but since he’s an only child he already acts like a teenager LOL. He brightens up this world so much and I feel so lucky to have him as part of my world. It’s funny, but I couldn’t imagine this life without him. His mother and I get along for the most part, we have our battles but so does every relationship.
A couple weeks back him and I had some “bonus” time as we call it. He likes when him and I go out by ourselves. We went out to lunch
Waitress: “How are you” Before I could even speak, Bonus son: “We’re doing good fanks. I’m taking my wife out for sumpin to eat (he thinks we all got married at the wedding), but I don’t got money in my pocket, she’s gonna have to pay. I’ll have chocolate milk and Sa(this is what he calls me) will have the man drink.”
The waitress starts laughing so hard that tears are rolling down her face. She looks at me – “Whats a man drink?” I explained: Arnold Palmer. I couldn’t ask for a better bonus son LOL.
We also cook together a ton too. It was the way I established a relationship with him in the beginning…
Post # 5
7 to 31, thats a big gap, i bet thats interesting……
i just thought that with all the sad threads on here, it’d be nice to sing the praises of the step-kids relationships that work out
Post # 6
thats so wonderful………does helive with you?
me and FIs ex wife dont really speak, and she has pissed me off from time to time, but i dont know if its because i am old-fashioned …..because i am not one of these hip and trendy parents that thinks that kids should be involved in absolutely everything, i have never spoken about adult stuff in front of my kids…..when they were little, and i never once bad mouthed the girls mother……i think that would be disrespectful. and i think that that holds the key…..if i had been the kind of person to be slagging her off (and believe me i wanted to sometimes) then i would not have got on so well with them. i mean would you befriend someone that talked badly about your mum?
theres a time and a place for everything, and i think we go through life trying to fnd out what goes where….
in fact whenever we meet someone we dont know, like if we are on holiday, if we are asked if we have children, we both say, Yes, we have 4! My FI has always got on great with my kids too, and he is a better father than their own father……..who is a no good stinking………
(i’ll stop there, because this is supposed to be a nice thread!) LOL
Thats a Great photo! LOL
PS….i sooooooo want a mixer like that!
Post # 7
@anne B: Ahaha, it’s a very complicated dynamic. 31 = my two step sisters (twins) 28 = my step brother. Then there is me! Lol. Then my 17 and 14 year old biological brothers and my 7 year old adopted sister. It’s a pretty interesting mix. But hey, it works. 🙂
Post # 8
Nice post 🙂 I’m the product of a divorce as well, and I’ve had a terrible step-father (thankfully now out of the picture) and an awesome step-mother. I honestly think it has everything to do with the step-parent and the vibe they bring to the relationship and home. It doesn’t have to be “Choose ME over THEM or else”, and it’s sad because so many think that’s how it works. It sounds like you have a wonderful approach as a step-parent and are interested in sharing your life with your new children rather than expecting them to fit into it the way you want. Awesome 🙂
Post # 9
No step kids (or kids for that matter) for us, but we are about to acquire 2 sisters, which we couldn’t be happier about!! I now have a new niece, and we spend a lot of time with them over the years. My FIL and their mom are getting married next year, so it will nice for it all finally be official!
Post # 10
@anne B: yes he lives with us. I moved in with DH before we were married and boy was that a shock. Adjusting from living by myself to a Man and a 14 month old was interesting.
Even when she does make us mad, she has some pretty severe issues, we never talk about it in front of him. My hubby and I just look at each other and table it until later. This past Mother’s Day he made us each take him to get the other one something. He’s very aware of everyone’s role in his life. Probably because he doesnt remember when I wasn’t there.
Post # 11
@mwitter80: that is an awesome story! And he is the cutest little guy ever!
Post # 12
@anne B: You are so blessed to have such great relationships with your family and his and yours and his together lol.
@mwitter80: You are so blessed too and he is absolutly adorable.
Post # 13
you have hit the nail on the head there, there are no choices to be made…….cos we can have it all cant we? we can be happy together with no fear of jealousy, because its ME that goes to bed with him every night, its me he shares special times with, and when one of them is in any trouble of any kind….they have 2 of us they can turn to. and when they have all flown the nest, we will have each other……and hopefully they will always feel like they can come any time, and not be in too much of a rush to get away from us……maybe thats why my son is still living with us at the age of 25!!!!!!!!!! (for gods sake move out already! ) (only joking)
why would i ask my FI to choose me over his daughters? its NEVER gonna happen, and what kind of father……or man for that matter would do that? and if he did he would not be the kind of man for me.
and i dont want to replace their mum, i can be their other mum…..their mum away from home.
after having 2 kids of my own, i never wanted more, then after i divorced and met my FI with his 2 daughters, it just was never an issue…..we just got on with it. and 15 years ago, they ranged from 6 to 11…..it was busy but it was fun and i would do it all again.
Post # 14
thank you….i feel really happy with my life at the moment……