Step-parent corsages/boutonierres?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MoonlitMagnolia:  IMO it depends on what type of step-parent they are; are they a second mom or dad to your SO or did they come into their lives after they alrady left the household.

Post # 5
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d make them the same!

Post # 6
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had the same situation. Seriously, no one stares at the flowers and tries to figure out importance. And to make them different is adding stress to your life. Make them the same.

Post # 7
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve been the SMOB 2 times and am about to be a MOB for the 2nd time, so here is my experience.  My stepdaughter’s gave me flowers equivalent to those they gave their mother.  When my bio girls are getting married and I am ordering flowers I make sure their stepmom’s equals mine (she would have a hissy about it if they were smaller and I don’t really care if hers are bigger – they are just a few flowers).

My ex-husband and husband have been given equal boutonniers also.  We just order 2 of everything to keep it easy.

Family politics and dynamics can also come into play.  I can see where a MOB might get a bit snippy if SMOB’s flowers were equal to  hers, but for me that is just silly.  You could make them a bit different to match their dresses maybe?

If you treat FMIL’s husband as well as you treat your FIL for boutonniers, she can certainly not complain about her and SMOB’s coursages being the same.

Do you know if this is even a problem for her?  I would think nothing of it but there are others who look for something to be angry about.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I have step parents as well and all flowers will be the same 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MoonlitMagnolia:  As a future step parent, I’d appreciate the same type of corsage as my husband’s. It shows great consideration in my book.

Post # 10
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

exact same

Post # 11
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I ordered the same ones for all the parents and grandparents and step-parents. If someone is upset that everyone is being treated equally then they have issues with themselves that they have to work out. If my mom were to throw a fit because she got the same corsage as my step mom, I’d tell her to get over herself.

Post # 13
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

my step mom’s was the same as my moms. Yes over thinking, it’s just flowers, hardly an homage to their parental “level”

Post # 14
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

Gosh we have a bit of the same issue, but the step-mother is not technically married to the father, and my FI and I aren’t super close to the dad or his step-wife. Lots of family tension with mom, so might cause fireworks.  We were sort of thinking of just giving parents flowers but now I’m thinking that might be worse? 

Post # 15
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it really depends on the relationships involved.  No one answer.  Step relationships can be tricky — the bride or groom with the step should take the lead in decison process (although if both have steps, even more trickty).   My dad had affair with my now SM and left my mom for her.  Nope, no flower for her.

 

 

 

Post # 16
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Now that I’ve thought about this a little more, I would like to ammend my answer slightly…

If a step-parent has not been around, caused one of your parents to cheat on the other, or is just all around nasty as a person, you should avoid drama by only giving things to biological parents, and no step-parent. (If you even allow them to come to the wedding!)

But if one step-parents gets something, then all the step-parents should.

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