Post # 1
So my moms parents divorced when my mom was thirteen years old. Both of her parents/ my grandparents remarried. My grandpa dated my step grandma ie Mary Lou when she was in Haigh school and got married in her Twenties. so Mary Lou was married to my grandfather my moms dad I before I was born. My grandma Boyes remarried to a wonderful man name terry when I was in middle school/ maybe high school. Here is the problems and views of me and why I am hurt.
My grandmas husband terry doesn’t consider me his grand daughter. Whintros introduces me to people he says this is carols grand daugher. Carol is my grandma. My mom doesn’t consider terry her dad. But grandma Lou my step grandma who is married to my grandfather my moms dad considers me her grand daughter and that I like very much. My mom doesn’t consider grandma Lou her step mom. She says she considers her, her dads wife. I am upset that my grandma Boyes husband doesn’t consider me a grand daughter but maybe there’s something I’m missing. Do any of you bees parents remarried but don’t consider your dads wives or your moms husband a step dad or mom by marriage. Can I have some input
Post # 3
Post # 4
We Do. My papa is his papa ( since my gran passed away )
and his nan is like my gran, too 🙂
It’s Deffo Nicer. His sister calls me Sis In Law already and
we’re not even married yet lol
Post # 5
My dad’s parents were divorced and his dad (my grandfather) re-married. In fact, they were married AFTER my parents were married. My grandpa’s new wife was never in my eyes a ‘step’ grandmother. She was my grandmother and embraced all of us grandchildren as such!
Post # 6
As a young child, I thought that step-parents were only a fairytale thing. I had no idea until I was older that my greatgrandpa was actually my step-greatgrandpa. I was lucky to have him in my life for as long as I did!
Post # 7
I’ve had both. I consider my step-grandpa to be a real grandpa–he’s been around my whole life and he considers me one of his own. Conversely, my blood-related grandfather remarried and I never considered that woman to be related to me. She was never really around and wasn’t crazy about kids, so we never really talked that much (they’ve since divorced). I never worried about it, though. I tried to focus on the people who DID love me and reach out, blood-related or not!
Post # 8
My stepmom calls me my dad’s daughter. My dad and her got married when I was in college so she never raised me and I don’t call her my mother or a parent either.
Post # 9
My father’s stepfather is the only grandfather I have ever known. He is my grandfather for sure. It was the same for FI when his mother’s stepfather was still alive… he was Grandpa.
Post # 10
I think it’s just different in every family and also can be different by each individual. Men also may not feel that family bond with step grandchildren as easily as women do. I don’t think your step-grandfather means to hurt you by this. My FI’s had a step mother since he was 17 but doesn’t refer to her parents as step-grandparents, just calls them by name and they refer to him as his father’s son.
Post # 11
I think it really depends on the relationship you have with the step-grandparent. My dad’s stepfather is definitely like a grandfather to me. He has been really good to me growing up and I couldn’t imagine introducing him as anything other than my grandfather.
Post # 12
I think it’s different for every family and situation. It also really depends on when that “step” person came into your life.
In my family, my dad remarried when I was around 13. For several years I wasn’t not thrilled (my stepmom wasn’t exactly the nicest) and did not consider her a parent. I refered to her at my stepmom, but I didn’t see her as a “mom”. Throughout my high school years we actually became very close, and still are. I 100% consider her one of my parents. I know she considers me as hers.
We don’t consider anyone really to be a “step”. While I don’t necessarily call her dad “grandpa”, I do consider him one of my grandparents. Same with her siblings….I don’t call them “aunt” or “uncle” but I do consider them to be my aunts/uncles and likewise they feel the same.
However, my brother was already an older teenager when they got married. I lived with them, while he lived with our momn (mom moved, and I didn’t want to change schools). Because of that, he really doesn’t have the connection/realtionship with our stepmom and I don’t think he really considers her one of his parents.
Post # 13
I have a step-grandmother. She is more of a grandmother to me than either of the blood related grandmothers I have. She’s such an awesome person and definitely considers me her granddaughter.
Post # 14
I liked all your reponses. I hope to get more. I just feel as though even though I knew my gradmas husband since elementry school and they married once, divorced, then remarried when I was in middle school that he dosnt consider me a grand daughter like my step grandma(my moms dads wife).
Post # 15
My great grandma passed away long before I came along… she passed just after my dad was born. My great grandpa remarried to I guess technically my step-great grandma but she treated all of us like her own and said that we were her great grandchildren. She also considered my dad and his siblings her grand kids even though most were bore before she came around. She was an awesome woman with a big open heart.
My dad’s dad passed away a little over 10 years ago when I was about 11. My grandma remarried 2 or 3 years later. At first I had a hard time considering him as a grandpa but I’m getting more used to the idea. He will never replace my blood grandpa but he is a nice guy granted not too long after they married his daughter had a baby and he said that it was his “one and only” grandchild. It hurt at the time but it was so early in their marriage he may have change his feelings some, but I don’t know. I call him my grandpa “his last name” but not to his face, just when talking to other people.
My dad’s mom that married my step grandpa never seemed to want to see us when we were younger even when we lived just down the street of her. She never took interest in me or my sibling’s lives and would direct all her attention to my cousins (my parents think it is because she didn’t care for my dad and thought he would never amount to anything and therefore neither would we). I can happily say I only have to see her once a year durning the holidays. She burned that bridge though now she is trying to reach out to me more and it just makes me bitter about what happened in the past.
I think it depends on when they entered your life and probably how good of a relationship you have. Maybe if you got to know him better or found hobbies the two of you could do together would help.
Post # 16
My mother remarried after my dad died. i was 18 and he likes to call me his daughter. they married only after a year after my dad died. my sister doesnt really get a long with him at all. (under statment that changes with the year;)) We get along. hes not a bad guy. i call him my moms husband and it weirds me out when he tells people that im his daughter cuz i feel like hes replacing my dad and people will really think he is my dad.. but i dont correct him cuz i feel bad. he has no kids and wont have any since my mom is 50. my sister was not comfertable with her kid, my nephew, calling him grandpa. but i dont see why not. my husband used to call his step grandpa …grandpa. i dont call him step dad because he married after i moved out. or i moved out since he moved in.
does your step grandpa have other kids?? or other grand kids?? i wonder why he feels that way.
on another note older people can be mean like that. at my wedding my FI grandma wouldnt let my mom (and some other family) call her omi (which means grandma). i could tell my mom was really hurt by that. everyone in his family calls her that so it seems like her name and is catchy but if anyone else calls her it she gives them an ear full. kinda weird cuz its a wedding. where our families are becoming one. but what ever