Post # 1
Hey everyone, I’m new here 🙂
Just looking for advice/opinions.
in April my boyfriend asked my dad for my hand in marriage, and this was accepted. We told my dad and step mum to keep it secret til we are engaged and we do the whole announcement thing.
so late June me and my bf went out ring hunting together. We found The One! but he was going to plan an official proposal.
During this time my step sister met a guy on facebook she used to date when she was 15 (she is in the UK, he is in australia). Also I later found out my step mum had went behind my back and told my step sister I’m going to get engaged!)… So my step sister goes and visits this guy in person for 2 weeks and next thing we know she is talking about getting married to him!
I had to tell my brother and sister the news that I’m going to get engaged too, cause I don’t trust her not to spill the brand. She immigrated to Australia on Sunday to go live with the guy she’s known 2 weeks, but the day before she left I had a farewell meal with her and she proceeds to show me engagement rings she likes, her bridesmaids dresses, and wedding dresses she likes!! Telling me she is getting married in 2016!! (She isn’t even engaged yet and I doubt he has bought a ring after two weeks??)
The fact is sha had known for months that I was waiting on the proposal! And when I said to her my wedding will prob be 2016 (my bf said he is going to propose before end of this year) – she just said “yea they’ll prob be pretty close” !!
is it just me or is that out of order?
also my gran died Christmas Eve 2013 and my dad had power of attorney.. He was ment to put in the will, by my grans wishes, 1k each to her grandchildren (me, my sis and bro) – but there was an oversight and it wasn’t officially added – so my dad refuses our 3k and my step sister told me a few days before that she was given 3k from them toward her wedding!!! Which might not even happen!
rant over, sorry.
Post # 2
Amberrr: Sorry, but you can’t claim a year, especially when you haven’t set a date. I agree siblings’ weddings shouldn’t be too close due to the overlap in guests who might have to travel, but even then I’d say the most they should space their weddings is about 3 months. I’m not sure if it’s as big an issue with step siblings – it depends on how many guests are going to both. But in any case, my opinion on dates is it’s “first come first served”. Since you don’t have a date yet, you can’t tell her not to set a date.
So don’t worry until you’ve set a date.
I’m not sure what’s going on with the will, but it would certainly be unfair if your father + stepmother are giving more money to your stepsister than to you.
Post # 3
She sounds jealous and desperate, and that she likely has a screw lose. I wouldnt let her bother you, and doubt she was given any $$ for an imaginary wedding but you should ask your dad about it. I would just go on my merry way wedding planning and not sweat it.
Post # 4
If she’s getting married to a guy she barely knows just so that she’s not ‘outdone’ by you, then she’s not going to be happy anyway. 3k won’t make her happy anyway but if you’re worried about the money just ask your Dad.
Just plan your own wedding and don’t worry about it 🙂
Post # 5
Thanks people – your right, I can’t claim a date if it’s not booked yet. my actual sister said if they are at the same time she’d be coming to mine anyway. 🙂
going to to go to my dads tomorrow night so I will chat to him about the money then.
Post # 6
I was also going to say that if she’s marrying this guy to outdo you, that’s unfortunate because it won’t last. But one thing that always bothers me on these boards- you get one day, not a whole year. Peoples lives can’t stop because of your wedding. Now, if you had a date set and she planned her wedding for the day before, I could see being upset but you still can’t do much about it. Concentrate on your relationship- you’re marrying the man you love. Just hope that your stepsister is doing the same.
Post # 7
So instead of being happy for your step-sister you are choosing to make her life choices all about you? Not quite sure who has the problem here .
Fact is she is living her life but it sounds like you are trying to make it into a competition and you are trying to turn family against her.
You must really hate this girl.
Post # 8
Amberrr: So, neither of you has been proposed to yet, and you’re upset with her for sharing wedding ideas she happens to like? For a hypothetical 2016 wedding? Chill out. You don’t get to claim a date or a venue or a guest list.
Post # 9
She is planning on marrying a guy she has met for 2 weeks in person, she’s had even less than 2 weeks quality time together with him. there’s every chance he might turn around 6 months later and decide he doesn’t want to marry her – or it might just work out perfectly. The point is, they don’t actually know each other. I have been with my bf 7 years, ours is definate.
anyway, I do know it’s a bit petty discussing this, but it irritates me. Some people who replied get where I am coming from, and can see my point of view. The reason I posted on here is I am not wanting to discuss this with my family, for the person who accused me of trying to split my family! Pfft.
Post # 10
Then there is the issue she knows my dad cannot afford to go and give her away at her wedding in Australia, and help fund mine around the same time. She said point blank to them her wedding will be in Australia.
Msgs joined our family when she was 21, then at 25 she wanted adopted by my dad. The family as a whole decided that’s too far. So she changed her name by deed poll to our families name, so that she could get given away as part as our family, taking on my dad as her dad. Fair enough as it doesn’t change my relationship with my dad but the dates should get taken into consideration for this reason – sorry there’s a lot more to this story than I am writing.
Post # 11
Neither of you are engaged. Slow your roll and wait to see what happens..
You’re completely losing it over a bunch of hypthetical situations that may not even happen.
Post # 12
Amberrr: nothing in life is guaranteed just something to remember. Whose to say that your step-sister wont have a great marriage to this guy whilst you and your better than her 7 year relationship ends? Who says that by 2016 they wont be ready to marry? You are being extremely petty here. And as others have pointed out neither of you are even engaged yet and you are already hovering towards bridezillaville.
Are you really saying you expect your dad to choose not going to his daughters wedding so he can pay for your wedding? I mean wow I would really hate to be your dad. Sounds like a nightmare having a daughter that is only after my money rather than my happiness.
Pay for your own wedding and stop being petty.
Post # 13
Amberrr: Okay I wasn’t exactly sympathetic until I read that last part. Your dad gave your inheritence away to your sister??? I’m not into the whole “it’s my money and I need it now” but if he really refused to give you and your brother your inheritence and instead gave it to your sister to use, that’s really shady. What if you and your FI actually wanted to use that for savings. I personally wouldn’t use the money on a wedding and instead would put it into a savings account for later. But to have that option taken away that is what bothers me. Forget the whole wedding issue with your sister, your dad picking and choosing who gets inheritence and who doesn’t…
Post # 14
Yeah.. like 1) Pay for your own wedding, 2) it’s 2016!! That’s like.. ages away! 3) Your step-sister has been with this guy for 2 weeks.. she’s not even close to being engaged and you guys aren’t properly engaged either!
You need to seriously chill out, be happy for your step-sister if and when she gets engaged, and stop worrying about something that may or may not happen 2 years from now.
Post # 15
She’s not my sister – she is my step sister. my gran intended us to get inheritance money and instead our portion had been given to her, when she only knew my gran like 3 years and we all know that mu gran didn’t want her getting any. That’s a separate story and something I will talk to my dad about face to face.
considering how he cannot give us our inheritance, I dont see why she was given 3k for her future wedding. It is not right and furthermore he already largely helped her financially with her previous wedding, from which she is now divorced.