- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 10, 2016
So I’m a little ahead of myself here– not even technically engaged yet– but one of the things that is making me the most nervous about a wedding is the father/daughter dance. My parents divorced when I was 3 and my mom remarried when I was 6. Since then, my primary father figure has been my stepdad. However, my bio dad is EXTREMELY sensitive about this (which is stupid, because he has never been much of a dad– he tends to be very out of sight, out of mind about me and my brothers). At my Bat Mitzvah, which my mom and stepdad paid for, I danced with my stepdad first before my bio dad. Even though we had another song planned for my bio dad, he interrupted me and my stepdad during our song and literally pulled me away to dance with him! (He was also drunk, which is the main reason I want a dry wedding.) It was extremely awkward and embarrassing and of course a huge insult to my parents (mom and stepdad). Also, stepdad and bio dad have gotten into several fights (mostly verbal, one physical, started by my bio dad of course) and really hate each other.
I’m not being walked down the aisle because if I picked either of them it would hurt the other’s feelings and they certainly can’t do it together. I would avoid the dance as well, but my partner really wants a dance with her dad and I would never want to deny her that. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do? If I dance with my stepdad first, my bio dad will be offended and may make a scene again like he did at my Bat Mitzvah. If I dance with my bio dad first, my stepdad will be offended and plus I don’t think my bio dad deserves it! I’m really stuck on this one. I thought of just dancing with my mom instead but then I would insult both dads. 🙁