- 4 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
Disclaimer: I am not posting this to initiate a long argument over religious views, just parenting advice
She is not my step daughter technically because her father and I are not married quite yet. But for all intensive purposes, she is my stepdaughter and I act very much as her step mother. She is 6.
My finance and I are not devoutly religious people, but we are quite spiritual. We do see a value in educating our children, this includes his daughter from his previous marriage in religion. We think it is very important to give children a sense of God and prayer, as these are important tools to be familiar with.
His ex-wife and him shared this belief as well and the family church was, and still is, a non demoinational congregation church. It fits well with the type of religious education and upbringing FI and his ex (and me, now) want for the children.
His ex wife changed a lot after going through the divorce and her religious beliefs changed as well. I am not sure what she identifies with. SHe might be wicken or pagan? I am not relaly sure, but something along those lines, which is fine. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.
FI and I have the daughter week days, and her mom gets her weekends, and therefore Sundays. Well, apparently the ex has been telling the daughter that she doesn’t believe what the church says and that it isn’t true.
My stepdaughter expressed confusion to me today about this. Part of why she goes to a nondenominational church is that it is fairly “generic” so it bothered both FI and I that the ex presented the information as “wrong.”
My answer to her was that the important thing to learn at church is that there is a God and that he loves you very much no matter what, and that you be a good, kind person. I said that there are lots of different churches with lots of different names but for the most part tey are different names for the same thing: being a good person and knowing that you are loved.
It caught me off guard, so I don’t know if I did the right thing? Should my FI and I talk to the ex about not de-validating the daughter’s church? Again… the reason we like the church we go to is that it is SO generic. There isn’t really much TO disagree with that is taught there. Also, that will be the family’s church for her entire childhood.
But, everyone is entitled to their religious beliefs and being pagan/wicken(again, not sure what she is exactly) is totally fine. I just think when a child is so young consistency important, not being told that mommy doesn’t believe in their church.
I want to reiterate that I am not trying to start a long argument over religion. Purely a parenting thing. What do you think is the way togo about it?