- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2015
SO this question is the actual reason I found this site (was Googling to see if anyone else had faced this issue).
My stepsister introduced my fiance and I almost 3 years ago. IN fact I would have never met him if I hadn’t let her bully me into attending a brunch she was throwing for her friends (he was a friend of her’s from high school). My fiance and I just recently got engaged, but it’s been pretty obvious that we were probably going to get married. For about the last 6 months before the engagement was announced, stepsister has been announcing to everyone that she was going to be a bridesmaid since she introduced us. I’ve been just kinda blowing her off without confirming or denying (mostly because I didn’t want to deal with her drama and she can’t take a hint) but I probably should have addressed it sooner. Typically she gets these wild ideas and eventually forgets them if given enough time. I should have known this would be different.
My stepsister and I aren’t particularly close but she has a different idea and seems to see herself as some sort of guiding, big sister to me. We saw each other about 3 times a year while I was growing up, my dad and her mom married when I was about 7, this year I turned 30. We hung out more in my 20’s but mostly shopping, lunches, that kind of thing. Not really any majorly significant events. Also, our parents divorced about 10 years ago and have since remarried to other people. I love her as family, and in small doses, but she tends to be overbearing, rude (although she thinks she’s just making funny quips) and outspoken. As we have a VERY different sense of style, I can see her constantly trying to push me around on EVERY aspect of the wedding to the point of my actually considering eloping just to avoid dealing with her.
My bio sis is going to be my matron of honor (we are 18 months apart and lived in same house growing up) and step sis constantly accused us in the past year of leaving her “out of things”. Fuel on the fire, bio sis has been married twice (most recently last February) and stepsis had no role in first wedding and read a passage at wedding #2, but that was mostly to keep step sis happy and from causing drama at not being included. Part of me wants to ask her to do a reading like at bio sis wedding, just to give her something to do and let her feel included. Other part of my doesn’t even want to give her any spotlight because she often finds a way to steal attention. As an example, stepsis asked biosis 15 minutes before the ceremony started (biosis was in wedding dress, ready to walk down the aisle) to escort her to her seat fully expecting biosis to comply. Biosis was incredulous but luckily a close friend stepped in to show stepsis to her seat.
Any thoughts on letting stepsis down easily? Do I give her a role in the wedding ceremony at all?