Stepsister Dilemma

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Kat05:  I haven’t been in your situation, but the best advice is almost always, “Don’t be bullied into asking someone to be a BM, especially if they’re known to be difficult”. So don’t. And it’s certainly extra rude for *anyone* to ask to be a bridesmaid.

Her organising the brunch where you met your fiance, doesn’t override the years of friendship of other girls you’d like in your bridal party.

I think having her do a reading is a nice compromise, though you don’t have to. A reading is good because of a double connection – she knows both you and FI.

EDIT: Or you could ask her to do a short toast at the reception, again because she knows you both. That’s if you’re confident she won’t see something inappropriate. That’d give her the spotlight for a couple of minutes but otherwise she’s out of the picture.

Post # 4
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Kat05:  I am leaning towards NOT making her a BM. If she is rude and overbearing now, she will be worse when it comes to dress shopping, bridal shower, bach party et al.

YOu can tell her you love her but you feel it’s best she either do a reading or give a toast as the PP suggested.

Post # 5
Member
48 posts
Newbee

It’s your wedding-your rules.  period.  

I would include her somehow…reading, music, guest book, etc.  Maybe ask her opinion on stuff that doesn’t matter?  

Post # 6
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am in such a similar situation… but the difference is i have already addresses the StepSister issue ( i have three, Two of whom i love and one i detest) and asked them to be part of a Bridal Brigade.. Basically, they have all the responsibilities of a BM being there, wearing the same colour scheme as the wedding party, have a corsage, involved in Hen do, all the nice stuff you do with a BM because they love you and vice versa,, but don’t walk up the Aisle/ all wear the same dress. A great compromise i thought… but not according to Eldest Step Sister, who threw a massive Wobbler, didn’t speak to me the rest of the evening after i asked her, didn’t reply when i asked if she and all the others involved would like to come Wedding dress shopping and seems to have turned one of the Step sisters i do get on with against me already!!  I think i may have a breakdown dealing with all this, but maybe if your stepsister is less of an evil witch than mine, the Bridal Brigade idea may work… You give them a list of that they do do, a list of what they don’t do, and put it all ina box, with some lovely pictures/mood board ideas for your wedding, colour swatches etc etc!)

Good Luck.. If i make it to Next August and being Married and havent lost the plot with all these problem ( there will be soooo many more along the way!) i’ll let you know.

 

Good luck with everything, Its nice to know we are not alone in the Step Sister issues world 🙂

xxxx

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