Post # 1
My Fiance has conveniently forgotten to honor my request of NO Children at our wedding or reception. (eyebrow raised) Now we’ve people asking if its alright to bring their midgets. Of course their requests are met with a resounding hayl to the no by me… and an of course from him. Now he is trying to sell me on the merits of having little ones in attendence… (again…eyebrow raised).
So fellow Divas – what is your take on this issue??
Allow our guests to bring their little ones and pray they’re able to control them.
Go with my gut, be the b*tch/Bridezilla and stick to my strict No Children preference.
Thanks in advance for your input!!
Post # 5
It’s probably not the answer you want, but at this point, I’d let them come. Honestly, this seems like an issue you and your Fiance should have come to a firm consensus over when making the guest list. Whereever communication broke down–or even if your Fiance went against the original agreement, what’s done is done.
Your Fiance has already told some people that they could bring their kiddos, to go back and say “well. . . actually, you can’t” just seems a bit harsh and would seem very controlling, if not rude. I don’t have children, but if someone changed their mind on this issue, I would defintely have some things to say. While it might not be your perfect vision, maybe there is a way to make up some child-friendly (keep em busy) grab bags and maybe have a sitter available for the ceremony
. . . and grit your teeth and think of how adorable those photos will be. :-/
Post # 6
I considered that as well. But thank you very much for putting it out there. I truly appreciate it.
Post # 7
I’m having an adult only wedding, and from the get go, I told my Fiance it might be tricky to pull this off and he had to have my back. Solidarity is the way to go, but ultimately, you have to do what’s right for you and your Fiance and he really needs to get on board with it for it to be effective.
Post # 8
I’m sorry to keep asking questions, but have you already sent out your invitations?
Post # 9
Diva..I envy you that solidarity. Between cake & menu sampling, appointments with the coordinator, and dealing with ridonkulous questions from our families..somehow he “misunderstood” me and now it’s basically too late to change things.
Thank u for chiming in!
Post # 10
LoL.. I’m probably just a meanie, but I would definitely make Fiance uninvite the midgets. Tell them that there’s no space or something. I just don’t have the patience for really small kids. It depends on the particular child, too though.
Post # 11
I would tell Fiance that he needs to call everyone he told they could bring their children OR he is welcome to pay for their meals and place settings(I am paying for the wedding, Fiance is paying for the honeymoon). I do NOT want kids at mine and Fiance agrees, they are always in the way and we want people to relax and socialize not have to worry about kids.
It sounds like he went behind your back, and agaisnt your mutual decision not to invite kids. You said he didn’t understand or did he not want to understand? Sometimes men do that… 🙂
Post # 12
For me its difficult becauseI have about 4 kids in the wedding party. I am inviting a specific number of people – I know a few people have decided to bring babies – I told them that is fine but I didnt want to see them running around etc. Those are people that are very close to me – I also still have hope that we will get a babysitter to stay with some of the kids in the other room –
Can you see if you can ge a babysitter and have a room that kids can go to if they are running around too much?
Post # 13
I am having an adult only reception. I dont want children even my own child running around like crazy. So I say stick to your guns. BUT that was a decision Fiance and I made together. You need to get him on the same page. Bc if he okays kids and some show up that you told people no kids there are going to be pissed off people for “picking and choosing” etc.
Post # 14
Can you explain to the people he told could bring their kids that you just dont want them there? Tell them something along the lines of how you want your friends and family to really be able to enjoy themselves and the event and that they wont be able to do so if they are watching their children all night. Versus, you know, “your kid is a heathen” 🙂
Post # 15
@MsChievous08: I am a mother and when I have been invited to an adult only wedding, I find a babysitter for my daughter so I would say have it the way you originally had it with no children.
Post # 16
@Captain013: Yeahh..my Fiance is a SUPER, nice guy and wouldn’t want to hurt anyones feelings by retracting the crumb-snatcher invitations. Combine that with the fact that he’d never speak up if said little ones decided to misbehave…it’s going to be up to me to talk with the parents to ensure they understand the following:
They are FULLY responsible for the behaviour of their children, and that unruly, disrespectful tots will not be tolerated…PERIOD.
@MsFoxxy: I’ve 17 years of solid Army discipline under my belt…so being perceived as a meanie/hard-a$$ is nothing new to me!! <<LOL>> So I hear ya on the Meanie part! IN all seriousness I agree that it does depend on the child. My 3-year old niece who is the flower girl knows how to act in public. Minus the understandable I’m mad because I’m 3 days, Izzy is very well behaved. She has mastered the use of please/thank you/yes or no ma’am/sir. <<wooo-hooo!>> So I guess my issue isn’t with children, but with ‘weak’ parenting. If a few guests insist on bringing their tots, they’d better be prepared to do everything within their power to keep them from being underfoot or ridiculously out of d*yumed control (OODC).
@Tally7: Ditto! We’ve 2 young children & a 14 year old in the wedding party. Of the three I’m only worried about the 5-year old. The other two will be fine. As for a sitter, the agencies in Arizona are a bit expensive. How are the rates in your neck of the woods? Is it going to cost a mint to keep the lil ones occupied?
@organizedbride11: Great point!! Hence the decision to leave things as they are, and talk with the tot-bearing guests.
@LindaD76: <<LMBO>> I can’t tell them that their children are heathens?!?!? Ohhh Man!!! That was going to be my lead in!!! <Ha Ha!!!> B’cause Diva let me tell you… my FIs 5-year old nephew is going to be the ring bearer, and that child hasn’t a single ounce of get right!!! That boy talks to adults any kind of way and will throw a tantrum at the drop of a hat!!! <shaking my head> I’m truly afraid that one my Southern relatives will snatch him up and swat his behind, if the Fiance or myself don’t talk with his parents about the importance of keeping him in check! Hmm… I wonder if we can get away with Benadryl lollipops… ;)~
Thank you SO much for your viewpoints Ladies!!