- 3 years ago
Ok, at the risk of driving myself crazy I have a few questions on the whole “waiting” period and how not to feel like your wait will be neverending! I think maybe reading this forum isn’t necessarily a good thing for me because I thought I had it all figured out and now maybe not so much…
SO and I are together just over 2 years. I am 32, he is 31. I was married before (short lived, no kids), he’s never been married. We’ve talked about marriage from about the year mark onwards and are very happy together, moved in together 6 months ago and everything’s going really well. So in July/August we talked about getting engaged and while I would rather get engaged this year he had planned for the end of next year (2015) and we’d get married at the end of 2016. But when he saw how disappointed I was that I’d be waiting another approx. 1.5 years for the ring he said, ok, let’s compromise, how about in the first half of 2015 but no narrrower timeline than that because I want it to be a surprise and I don’t want there to be a fixed date. So I said ok and was pretty happy.
HOWEVER, I’m now reading all these threads about how bees had timelines imposed which their SOs basically ignored (despite promising to keep them!) and I’m starting to get stressed. I never considered myself “waiting” until about a month ago and now I feel like I’ll be waiting until June 2015 just to see whether he keeps to the timeframe we’ve set and what if he doesn’t? Now I trust him, 100% and love him very much and I guess the thing is, no one can ever have absolute certainty in what’s going to happen but I feel like I’m sort of helpless until next June because I don’t want to be hassling him before then about it because we talked about it and agreed to the compromise. He’s also asked me what type of ring I’d like and saved pictures of ones I showed him.
So I’m not looking for answers – obviously strangers aren’t going to be able to tell me whether he will or won’t stick to the timeline but I’m wondering how bees basically put it out of their heads until then? Do you just keep yourself busy with other things and stop looking at rings and stop thinking about venues and all of that? Do you just put your faith in him that it’ll work out? I want to but it’s hard especially when it seems like the world and its mother are getting engaged around me!!!! Arrgh!