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Good question - I find it strange too that anything on the table seems to be fair game at the end of the night. I would never take something (except favors or menus, stuff like that) unless I was explicitly told by the wedding party! I hope to resell or salvage stuff too, so I'm interested in hearing how people are avoiding this. I hadn't given it any thought, other than that it would seem rather awkward/rude to tell someone to "put it back!" after the deed was done. But, I can see it being one of those little things that gets under my skin if I see it happening during the evening!
Very good question...
You could drop small hints when family/friends ask about the wedding planning...you could say, "oh ive got so much stuff now i cant wait to start selling it off once the wedding is over"...
seems everything i think of is a bit tacky...
Oh, another idea would be to put it in the hands of a coordinator or strong willed family member. Have them keep an eye on things towards the end and make them do the dirty work by telling people they can't take things.
I had this worry too, but since we didn't have much for table decorations (faux flower centerpieces), I was hoping they'd get the hint. I'd spread the word too: bridal party, parents, coordinator (or the person everyone will naturally go to if they have a question...which they almost always do). If that's not enough, maybe tack the centerpiece down with some tape. If they try to pull it up and the table cloth sticks to it, they might get the idea.
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Hee hee, I was just thinking of the ultimate in tackiness - put price tag stickers on everything! :) sure, you can take it home... for a price...
we are in a somewhat similar boat....we are donating all our flowers to a local nursing home the day after so we don't want people to take them. I think the only way to tactfully do this is by word of mouth. You'll probably have at least one close family member or friend at each table, let them know the displays aren't to be taken and then when others mention taking things or start to take things someone at the table can chime in and say "oh they will be keeping all the displays". If it makes it easier just say all the stuff is rented/borrowed and has to be returned
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Hahahaha.....to all.....I am glad I am not the only one! I am going to tell immediate family, and also our venue coordinator I think.....I mean, I know a lot of couples play games to give away the centerpiece, and its not the flowers I want - I actually think my mother will kill me when I tell her they are all going home with her! But we bought birdcages for each table! And I know ultimately people will just toss them....so why shouldn't I get some cash back?
I have a slightly different but related dilemma - we simply CAN'T let our guests take our centrepieces home, or at least not the vases, because they are rentals and we have to return them! So we have to be a little bit more obvious about letting people know, because it wouldn't just be annoying if they took our vases, it would be theft. So we are going to ask our MC to make a quick announcement, hopefully with a bit of humour so it doesn't seem tactless, telling guests they are welcome to take the flowers if they like (they will be tied at the stems in such a way that they can just grab them out of the vase and go - no loose flowers) but to please leave the vases on the table as they are rentals.
To be honest, if I were in your shoes, I might do a short announcement as well. Tell a white lie and say that the items are rentals that need to be returned, then people will be more likely to leave them!
This might be dumb, but an idea...Maybe you could put a bright, noticable, little card underneath the centerpiece, that if its lifted says like, "these are rentals and need to be returned. Please don't take them!"
Same boat here ~ we are going to put on the underside of each item (centerpiece, special vases, candles, etc, anything that we want to keep) a taped note that reads "Already promised to Aunt Suzie Q" so when people try to take things hopefully they will see the note and feel obligated to put it back. Then all the Aunt Suzie Q's will be "in" on the scheme and help take things home for us that we will pick up at a later date.
OK, I was recently at a wedding where the centerpieces were so big no one thought of taking them. But, as we left the bride told us we could take the flowers only.Â
oops, that's married the Longest
I like the idea of a little card. That way, if the centerpiece doesn't get lifted (as in moved) then they won't know the difference....and if they do see the card, the centerpiece won't get lifted (as in taken). An announcement seems too far...but that might just be my internal etiquette school marm jumping up and down.
ha-ha! i have to laugh b/c this is so common an experience for me. i always see people (usually the little old aunties) grabbing all kinds of stuff. and i have to wonder: what do they do with it?!? so, when i did our table decorations, i painstakingly made little candle lanterns, and fully expected my hard work to be carried away by "aunties..." lo and behold, they must've thought that we wanted to keep 'em, 'cause now i've got like 100 lantern boxes that *i* don't know what to do with! just can't win...(as a side note, you know what DID get swiped? my cute little glass votive holders that we DID want to keep...i mean, they were only 25 cents at IKEA, but we don't have IKEA here, and they're cute! and useable. again, just can't win...)
i think you might have to be a little in-your-face and make a little announcement or station a "guard" at the door. taping a note on the bottom would work only if someone looked underneath, which they probably won't do...if i was swiping a vase, i don't think i'd look at the bottom, i'd just grab it and go.
I went to a very fancy wedding where the DJ made an announcement at the beginning of the night asking guests to refrain from taking the decorations home. Everyone giggled and nobody thought it was rude. Personally I think this is a better approach than chastising people who are already taking things. We plan to make a similar announcement, if only because it is my biggest pet peeve when guests take the centerpieces home when they leave the wedding EARLY. What could be tackier???
We had a similar problem at our wedding. We were fine with people taking the centerpieces-- the vases were ours, had cost only $4 each, and we didn't plan to resell them. But when someone tried to walk out with the bridal bouquet and two of the bridesmaid's bouquets, we had to draw the line. I didn't see it happen, but I'm told my father had to chase down the offender and explain that the bouquets were NOT for taking!
tanya2s!! I can't believe a guest tried to walk away with your bouquets!! That is the WORST offender I have ever heard of! I'm glad your dad chased the person down...
Nothing new to add, alot of good suggestions!
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I'm sorry - I just can't believe that this many people actually leave with things from the tables (other than menucards, place cards and favors). In what world is taking something like a centerpiece acceptable? I have never heard of this!
we had our MC tactfully announce what could be taken home. our vases were borrowed from our floral designer, so when he announced the centerpiece giveaway, he told the guests that they could pop the flowers off the top and leave the vases behind for the floral team to collect at the end of the night. i think it helps to to start announcing what the guests CAN take home and follow it with instructions of what to leave on the table.
No one tried to take anything from our tables, thank goodness...everything we had was rented from the florist, and I didn't want to have to pay her MORE after the even was over, dammit! :)
My new bro-in-law did get caught stashing a bunch of the favors in all of the pocket space he could stash them in. We had little spice jars (http://www.beau-coup.com/spice-jar.htm) that we filled with a special blend that we bought from my hubby's "spice guy" that he knows through the restaurants he works at (he's a chef). Apparently, one of the members of the wedding party overheard him saying that they would make perfect, eh-em, "weed jars". So he was taking a bunch of them home with him. *sigh!* We had a TON of those jars back at our house...he didn't need to take them from the other guests! (We plan on helping him out, though...we thought it'd be funny to send him some of the leftover spice we have - in bulk packaging - for Christmas and let him know that we heard he had an interest in the spice, as he had taken a few extra of the favors at the reception, so here's some spice to fill the jars with when he runs out! HA!)
Not that ANY of that had anything to do with your post, but anywaaaay...
I can't think of a way to tell people tactfully that they shouldn't take things from the table. But some of the suggestions thus far have been ideas to jump off from...I hope something works out for you!
LMAO faithsista. LOVE your idea for a Christmas present for your new bro-in-law, what a fantastic way to get the last laugh! I cracked up laughing and had to tell my FI that story, he thought it was funny too.
We were anticipating this problem also... but our centerpieces were either very tall (willow branches with orchids tied to them) or were tall vases with floating candles.. we had planned to have the wedding coordinator politely stop guests leaving with the centerpieces, but it never happened. We were worried more about the mini votives around the table, but luckily people just didn't take them. Most people know that it's not OK to take centerpieces unless you are verbally told by MC or bridal party/family.
As for the stickers on the bottom, I thought of that too, but who really looks at the bottom of a centerpiece before taking it?
Thank you everyone!!!!!!!!! I was struggling with the same thing - majority of our guests are from out of town - so they might look silly with the big old centerpieces - flowers or just the vases on the plane - like you Kim - ours will belong to our florist.
One of my personal favs are the people who leave with food! Desert / dinner / apps - whatever?!?! Cracks me up!
I am totally laughing because I have wondered about this also! Just last weekend my mom and I were discussing the flowers and I told her our venue had vases we could use (they provide the fresh flowers too) then asked, "Well, do you think we should use those or should we buy our own. Do you think people will take the centerpieces." She then responded, "I don't know. They might. We can look when we go to Arne's (a party supply store we're visiting this weekend) for something cheap. "
I hadn't heard any of this on the boards so I thought maybe it was just my family and the people we know!
Maybe have people on the look out for this. Bridesmaids, the coordinator, parents, etc. That way if they see anyone taking them, they can mention that you are keeping them.
I really hate it when I'm asked to take home a centerpiece - it's such a pain and most of the time it's just flowers that die the next day. To answer your question though, to make sure people don't take them I would consider alerting the catering staff to watch out for people taking things and try to get the word out through your bridal party. You probably want to avoid an awkward announcement or sign if possible.
i didn't think anyone took the centerpieces home.. until my sis told me months ahead that that's what she's planning to do with my centerpieces.. take any and all of them home! sigh.. if that's what she wants, i guess it'll make clean up easier!
I was wondering how to handle this too! Im glad that there are so many bee's out there with good ideas for keeping guests hands off the merch! Its for looking and admiring...NOT touching lol
I don't have any advice for how to prevent it, but I just had to chime in because I cannot even imagine going anywhere and just assuming it's ok to take stuff like that!!! LOL I mean, WTF?!?!?!
Man! This brings back memories....this is where your BMs and hostesses come in 
I had to literally chase a lady across the room when I was a BM in my friends wedding b/c she TOOK ONE OF THE CHAIR SASHES!! Hello?? Who DOES that? These guests were trying to take everything that wasn't nailed down...LOL. In hindsight it was hella funny but it wan't at the time b/c I didn't know some of these people and there I was asking them for things back. "Ma'am we rented those sashes..we have to return them"..."Ma'am those containers belong to the restaraunt"...totally ridiculous.
I think I'm going to make sure my DOC stands near the exit and doesn't let anyone take anything out. Or have the restaurant staff start cleaning up the tables before the music is done playing, and set our things aside for us to take home.
Personally, I'm just going to tell my coordinator to keep an eye out and politely tell people that they cannot take the decor home.
Were doing tall vases with willow branches and black magic roses. Like so many of you, the vases and branches will belong to our florist.
At my FSIL's reception the dj ever made an announcement to take them so they were begging people on the way out to take the centerpieces! Buuut nobody wanted them lol. It was a HUGE wedding so there were literally about 30 centerpieces and the venue wouldn't throw them away for them.
That was over a year ago, and I think they're all in my FMIL's basement.. I should tell her to post them to sell. Anyone looking for a trillion hurricane vases? lol
I admit I took piece home from a wedding once! I was at a good friends wedding when I noticed the cleaning staff (who were literally taking plates out from people's hands to dump them in the trash!!) were trowing away EVERYTHING. The centerpieces, candles, food, candy, dessert items, the glasses (some with drinks still in the process of being drunk!), etc. The only things they didn't throw away were the rented table clothes, but they took them off the tables hours and hours before the night was over! Ruined the wedding look totally! Anyhow...I rescued a centerpiece and some candles as well as a fe favor boxes (mmm...candy!). I actually offered them to my friend, the bride, as keepsakes since everything else was in the trash, but she didn't want them. Told me to throw them away! Yikes! I took them home, ate the candy, and used the candle and centerpiece (non-floral) as home decor.
However, in any other situation involving a wedding, I'd not take anything other then the favor home. especially if I wasn't explicitly told to do so!
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My question is - how do you make it clear that everything on your table is not free to take at the end of the reception? For some reason, maybe its just my strange family, the last two weddings I have been to people have jsut taken things home - anything thats on the table, no matter what it is. Number one, really, why do they want this stuff? Number two, why do they think they are owed something at the end of a wedding? I understand some people give away the centerpieces. However, everything I plan to put on the table, I plan to resell. I have spent a fortune on all this stuff, and I would like to get a little money back from all of it....and anyway, we do favors for a reason! Is that not enough?