(Closed) Sticky Invite Situation!! Inviting Certain Members of a Family and Not Others!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do? (explained below)
    Invite only the mother : (2 votes)
    5 %
    Invite the mother and Jan : (31 votes)
    74 %
    Invite all 3 : (8 votes)
    19 %
    Invite none : (1 votes)
    2 %
    Other (Please explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I was in a similar situation.  In the end I decided, although my parents didn’t want the person there neither, to invite them for the sake of peace and quiet..  I then made a point of speaking to a family member who could speak to the person (her sister in my case) and say, “Listen, you’re invitied – but she’s realyl worried that you are going to say/do something to ruin her day.  If you feel you can’t track your behaviour for that one day, I would suggest you don’t go.”

     This person saw her backside in the end about something else and didn’t come, so my wedding was drama-free, but nothing much could be said because I’d invited the person.  Even if she would have come, I realised that there were so many other people there that having her face in the crowd would not even have registered with me.

    IF you do end up inviting her, and she does come along, ask a couple of people to keep an eye out for her and make sure she behaves.  Can you speak to your aunt about, maybe if she starts acting like a brat, that she would get her out of there?

    Post # 4
    Member
    1141 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think you should invite all three!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i myself would not invite the other twin, tough sh*t.    I’d rather deal with drama later then at my wedding.  I would never invite someone to my wedding that i didn’t want there, and i’m not.  I’m not inviting an Aunt whom i despise.   They can deal with it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2359 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @ashescats:  It seems as though you’ve answered your own question.   It seems like you REALLY dont’ want her there and you know what?  nothing says you have to invite her.  Why should you stress the whole day of your wedding as to whether this girl is gonna cause some drama.  you don’t need that

    Post # 8
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @ashescats:  Ohhh it’s a tricky one then.  Does her mother know the situation?  Can you explain to her that you want to invite her and ideally Jan, but worry about the other one?  And if she feels uncomfortable one daughter being invitied, just invite your aunt.  Or maybe – even better getting your mother to speak to her.  I persumer they’re sisters?

    Post # 10
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @ashescats:  Sorry – I had it in my head that it was family – my bad!  Well in this case, I’d just invite the mother.  Apologise to Good Twin and tell her because of limitations on numbers etc, that you won’t be able to invite her.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3614 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Being the sister of twin brothers… I can guarentee it is absolutley fine to invite one and not the other. Unless Kate thinks she is you bosom pal, which I think unlikely, she probably wont be offended. These people are two separate people, not one entity. My brothers get offended when they’re invited to their twins friends parties. The brother whos friend it is is like “we’re not one person” and then the twin who is essentially a plus one “I don’t even know this person and wont know any of the people there, why would I want to go?” (They’re 20)

    I should add that my brothers are also really close, they call each other Twin rather than by their first names and so on. So if theyre that close but still want to be seen separately I am sure Jan and Kate will.

    Sounds like Kate would want her BF to come anyway (been together a long time) so she might decline any invite you sent her or cause drama.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think fine. The other sister is adult and they have separates life you don’t have to invite the whole family. If you are worried about it have a private chat with Jan about it.

    Post # 14
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would not invite her.  This is such an etiquette minefield, but honestly, this girl sounds like a nasty piece of work and you are not close with her.

    Post # 16
    Member
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    It’s your wedding and I believe you should be able to invite as you please. However, I just hope you do add Mother or Jan plus Guest and they take it as to bring Naughty Twin Sister with them…

    The topic ‘Sticky Invite Situation!! Inviting Certain Members of a Family and Not Others!’ is closed to new replies.

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