Post # 1
Yayyy, I’m new to the board so this is my first thread! The background to my story is that my future SIL was originally going to be one of my BMs. She asked me if she was able to bring her boyfriend, and I told her yes because the only people we were extending that opportunity to were married people and people in our bridal party (we are trying to have a more intimate wedding without a bunch of random dates). Neither me or my FH are particularly close to her bf, and we don’t agree with the relationship for our own reasons, but he is undoubtedly a nice person.
Anyway, my future SIL was being really flaky and ended up backing out of the wedding. I’ve replaced her with another friend now. My question is, do we still need to include her bf as a guest since I told her that only the bridal party and married guests were receiving plus ones? FH thinks we should still include him because we already got her hopes up for a date, but I mean I DID tell her what our stipulations were from the door. What would you guys do?
Post # 3
I think you should – it’s your SIL.
Post # 4
I would still let her bring the boyfriend. It’s not worth a potential lifetime of resentment from her/starting off on the wrong foot, and that’s what your FI wants to do.
Post # 5
Ouch! I would. She’s your future SIL. You don’t want this situation hanging in the air on your wedding day. It may seem like a small issue now, but you never know if the family’s gonna get involved.
Post # 6
If it was anyone else, I would tell them no, but since it’s your FSIL I would just let her bring him. At least you still know him, so it won’t be like a random stranger at your wedding.
Post # 7
I agree with previous posters… she’s family, you already told her yes, and your FI thinks it’s a good idea. Welcome to family compromise! 🙂
Post # 8
I gave my SIL a plus one even though we were only allowing married guests one. We had a very intimate affair with only 40 guests… He was excited and willing to spend all the money to come see us that I couldn’t tell him no.
Post # 9
@Galang_Gyal: Nah. She knew that you were inviting your BM’s So’s. She’s no longer a BM (of her own will) No invite, since it isn’t fair to everyone else outside of your bridal party who isn’t getting one.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Americano: +1. She’s not a random guest, she’s your SIL. Plus your fiancé thinks you should and its his wedding too.
Post # 11
Good answers. I figured he would still be invited but I wanted to see other peoples’ perspectives. Thanks everyone!