Post # 1
After the hustle and bustle of the wedding/honeymoon/moving in, all the gifts have finally been unwrapped and thank you cards written (we were ambitious and finished nearly 100 in 1.5mos!). However, one of the checks a college buddy gifted us with bounced. Our bank not only deducted that gift amount ($1xx), but also fined us an extra $10 charge for having to locate that check. Both deductions can be reversed if the giver re-writes the check. After mustering up the guts, I politely emailed my friend (a guy who I don’t keep in touch with often) to notify him not to write further checks from his depleted account just for his own safety. He immediately replied, said he was embarrassed and assured me that the funds will be there this wk. DILEMMA: Unless said friend writes a new check and physically mails it to me, this is of no help to me. He doesn’t know this and is under the assumption he just has to replenish his account. I don’t know how to politley explain to him the situation w/o sounding like a money/gift-grubber. The wedding was $$$/person and I’m not sure I just want to let it go. My husband reasons that the guest will notice the funds have not been deducted from his account and contact me (it’s been over 2wks since his email reply to me). What do you all think?
Post # 4
I would let it go with the guest. On the other hand, you would probably be able to get that $10 fee reversed if you spoke with a sympathetic bank teller and told her that was supposed to be your wedding gift.
Post # 6
PLEASE let it go. i can’t imagine asking a friend to cover a bounced check. Of any amount. tacky, tacky, tacky.
Post # 7
Yes, this must be terribly embarrassing for him. Don’t say anything else about it, and secretly hope that he figures it out on his own.
Post # 8
i don’t understand how it’s tacky to ask the friend to fix this bounced check situation. he gave you a check that bounced and as a result, has cost you money. i think you need to go back to him!!
i think its TACKY OF HIM to even put you in this situation.
Post # 9
I don’t think he _meant_ to put the bride in that situation. Obviously something isn’t quite right if he’s bouncing a check; no need to call extra attention to it or press him for money; he may be having some financial difficulties that the bride would not want to exacerbate by pressing the issue.
Post # 10
I would suggest letting it go–aggravating the issue might make you lose a friendship in the process. If he’s only worth approximately $100 then pursue it, but caulk it up to the fact that anyone can run out of funds and I’m sure he’s plenty embarassed by it already.
Post # 11
If you really don’t want to let it go, and I don’t blame you – I would send back another e-mail and just lead in with
"I just spoke with my bank and it turns out you would actually have to send another phyiscal check for the fees on my end to be reveresed"
explain their policy and I’m sure everything will be fine. It doens’t dound like it took it too hard on the first one around….and you know boucing checks happen to the best of us.
Post # 12
Sometimes banks will put the check back through and sometimes they won’t. It doesn’t sound like your friend planned to stiff you – just that he got caught short. Sweeney’s right – practically everybody’s done it at least once – its just less embarassing when its not a wedding gift. I would let him know that you bank won’t put the check back through, so he would need to send another. Apologize profusely. If you’re not comfortable doing it by email or phone, maybe send him a nice little note with the returned check enclosed.
Post # 13
I would definitely let it go. I don’t think that it should really matters what you chose to spend per person on your wedding. I think of it as sort of like you having someone over to your home for dinner. You don’t really them reimburse you… That’s just my opinion. I am sure that the friend is probably really embarased by what’s happened.
Post # 14
Yeah, I vote for letting it go. You only got charged $10, and I agree that it’s tacky to ask him to re-write the check. Technically, he does kind of owe you the 10$, but it would be the gracious thing to just let it go, imho.
Post # 15
I agree – for the sake of $10 let it go. He obviously doesn’t have the money to give you. I’m sure he feels embarassed enough that it bounced… he may be in a difficult financial situation and I really don’t think you should make the situation worse by bringing it up again.
I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but you decided to spend what you did on the wedding. You should be grateful that your friend attended and spent the day with you. You may lose your friendship if you keep bringing it up, and friendship is definitly worth more than $$.
Post # 16
If I’m reading it right – you are out the $10 fee (you aren’t out $110 as the $100 was a gift). It sounds like he doesn’t live in the same state as you – did he travel for your wedding? Plane ticket, rental car, hotel stay… that adds up – and I feel like the money spent travelling to a wedding is a gift to the couple as they cared so much about you that they paid the money and took the time to get to your wedding. You are only out $10 – never mention it again and never tell any friends you have in common. It is not worth it to have him mail you a $10 check to cover your fees after he may have spent $500 or more just to get to your wedding.