(Closed) Sticky post wedding situation: bounced check from guest

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

I vote to let it go.

Post # 4
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would let it go with the guest. On the other hand, you would probably be able to get that $10 fee reversed if you spoke with a sympathetic bank teller and told her that was supposed to be your wedding gift.

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

over $10?  I’d let it go.

Post # 6
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

PLEASE let it go. i can’t imagine asking a friend to cover a bounced check. Of any amount. tacky, tacky, tacky.

Post # 7
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Yes, this must be terribly embarrassing for him. Don’t say anything else about it, and secretly hope that he figures it out on his own.

Post # 8
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

i don’t understand how it’s tacky to ask the friend to fix this bounced check situation.  he gave you a check that bounced and as a result, has cost you money. i think you need to go back to him!!

i think its TACKY OF HIM to even put you in this situation. 

Post # 9
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t think he _meant_ to put the bride in that situation.  Obviously something isn’t quite right if he’s bouncing a check; no need to call extra attention to it or press him for money; he may be having some financial difficulties that the bride would not want to exacerbate by pressing the issue.

Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I would suggest letting it go–aggravating the issue might make you lose a friendship in the process.  If he’s only worth approximately $100 then pursue it, but caulk it up to the fact that anyone can run out of funds and I’m sure he’s plenty embarassed by it already.

Post # 11
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

If you really don’t want to let it go, and I don’t blame you – I would send back another e-mail and just lead in with

"I just spoke with my bank and it turns out you would actually have to send another phyiscal check for the fees on my end to be reveresed"

explain their policy and I’m sure everything will be fine. It doens’t dound like it took it too hard on the first one around….and you know boucing checks happen to the best of us.

 

Post # 12
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Sometimes banks will put the check back through and sometimes they won’t.  It doesn’t sound like your friend planned to stiff you – just that he got caught short.  Sweeney’s right – practically everybody’s done it at least once – its just less embarassing when its not a wedding gift.  I would let him know that you bank won’t put the check back through, so he would need to send another.  Apologize profusely.  If you’re not comfortable doing it by email or phone, maybe send him a nice little note with the returned check enclosed.

Post # 13
Member
24 posts
Newbee

I would definitely let it go. I don’t think that it should really matters what you chose to spend per person on your wedding. I think of it as sort of like you having someone over to your home for dinner. You don’t really them reimburse you…  That’s just my opinion. I am sure that the friend is probably really embarased by what’s happened.

Post # 14
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Yeah, I vote for letting it go.  You only got charged $10, and I agree that it’s tacky to ask him to re-write the check.  Technically, he does kind of owe you the 10$, but it would be the gracious thing to just let it go, imho.

Post # 15
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I agree – for the sake of $10 let it go. He obviously doesn’t have the money to give you. I’m sure he feels embarassed enough that it bounced… he may be in a difficult financial situation and I really don’t think you should make the situation worse by bringing it up again.

I don’t mean to be rude when I say this, but you decided to spend what you did on the wedding. You should be grateful that your friend attended and spent the day with you. You may lose your friendship if you keep bringing it up, and friendship is definitly worth more than $$.

Post # 16
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

If I’m reading it right – you are out the $10 fee (you aren’t out $110 as the $100 was a gift).  It sounds like he doesn’t live in the same state as you – did he travel for your wedding?  Plane ticket, rental car, hotel stay… that adds up – and I feel like the money spent travelling to a wedding is a gift to the couple as they cared so much about you that they paid the money and took the time to get to your wedding.  You are only out $10 – never mention it again and never tell any friends you have in common.  It is not worth it to have him mail you a $10 check to cover your fees after he may have spent $500 or more just to get to your wedding.

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