Post # 1
My future sister in-law was engaged one week before my engagement. She has her whole wedding planned. She decided on short black bridesmaid dress with Hot pink shoes and Leopard. I found my wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses. They are strapless and floor length with pockets. I want to have black and light blue as the colors of my wedding using the Damask theme. I want to have the girls also wear black as the color of their dress. My wedding is in July (2011) and her wedding is in November (2011). I want to know if it is in poor taste to have the same color dress even though the styles are diffent then what she is doing? When I told her about my idea she was very upset. She feels that people will be comparing our wedding and that they will look the same because I want to have the same color dress as her. Please help I need any advise on what to do?
Post # 3
It sounds like the similarities between your two weddings end at “black dress.”
I’d talk to her about that fact, and also note that black is a common, classy, neutral color. It’s not like you’re both having lime green dresses!
Post # 4
Anymore, black is a pretty popular wedding color, usually paired with a few others. I think your weddngs will be very different based on what you’ve described. Long vs. short,different accents in both design and color…
My nephew got engaged a few months ago, and when I was talking to his fiancee about wedding colors she liked, she mentioned wanting black and white with a third accent color. Her future husband’s sister’s wedding was black & white and red, my daughter’s wedding last year was black / white and fuschia, and her good friend’s wedding was in black/white and green. Lots of people are using black!
Are you considering making changes to your dresses because she’s upset?
Post # 5
I don’t think there’s any cause for concern – black is a basic color, and it’s not “her color”. With the weddings being a few months apart, who’s going to remember?
Post # 6
@Violachap summed it up perfectly.
Post # 7
@ItWasntMe: I don’t want to change my idea but my future mother in-law has made the comment that it is “a code among women to not have the same color dress” and that I should change the color of my dresses because my sister in-law is so excited about having black short dresses in her wedding. I agree with all of these replies. I just wanted some other opinions because I thought that I was in the wrong for wanting long black dresses. Thank you!
Post # 8
Wow, I guess my mom forgot to teach me that code. On the one hand I see how you don’t want to start things off badly with your FILs, but really, I don’t see anything wrong with you both having black dresses, especially considering yours are long and hers are short. Maybe she’s annoyed because your wedding sounds classier than hers (I’m sorry, but hot pink and leopard? To each her own, I know, but how does her FI feel about that one?).
Post # 9
@pb and j: I should clerify that she is having black cocktail dresses, with hot pink shoes and then using leopard as an accent point. She wants to have leopard belero jackest made for us to wear. I think her idea is cute and have been very supportive towards her decisions and wedding planning. It is just frustrating for me because she is so upset over the issue and I feel that if I change my ideas of long black dresses then I will resent her because I am not able to use the ideas I have. I think she is most cocerned with the fact that my wedding is before hers and she thinks people are going to compare our wedding and that people will think she copied the color of my dresses. I really appreciate everyone ones comments
Post # 10
Use your ideas. No one will compare your weddings, at least not in terms of the colors. It sounds completely different anyway–black ad light blue vs. black with leopard boleros and hot pink!
Post # 11
Well if you want to get technical….black is not really a color. It is pretty standard. Most weddings these days have black and white or black and ivory with various other accent colors. If she wanted a bright blue dress and so did you, well ok, then I would say maybe go with another color. But black is black. Plus, the dresses and general theme of both weddings are completely different from what you have described. I wouldn’t worry about it! Go for the black dress!
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club
I say you should still use black dresses if you want them. Your wedding sounds very different from your FSIL.
Post # 14
I think it sounds like you are having completely different weddings. I think you are good to go 🙂
Post # 15
On one side I can see how your sister would be upset. My SIL stole my colors, she got engaged after us and married before. I went ahead and changed my colors since I still had time and really wanted Tiffany Blue and Chocolate. I decided to have my guys in brown tuxes. My brother and SIL commented on how ugly they were and then went out and got brown tuxes for their own wedding and I didn’t find out until my father went to get fitted and told me. I was upset but I ended up still using brown tuxes month later, just a different style, and they looked great and noone remembers.
It’s something that she is upset over now but will get over later. I would just try talked to her a little more.
Post # 16
A code among women? I mean, that would hold true if you were stealing all of her wedding ideas. But the two events don’t sound similar at all. I think your FSIL is just over emotional. Perhaps if you highlight for her all the ginormous differences she will calm down a bit and stop focusing on one tiny similarity.