(Closed) Sticky situation.

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

First, let me ask you a rhetorical question.  Is it truly, and totally out of the question, to consider splurging on this?  I know when we were getting married and paying for our wedding, everything was too expensive and dramatic – but I probably COULD have made things happen if it was necessary.  If there is really no way possible that you can afford to be there, then I would have a serious convo with her and explain the situation.  

Can you afford for ONE of you two to go?  I don’t pretend to know your family situation, but honestly if I had been given the choice between my brother or his fiance, I would have chosen my brother even though I am traditionally closer to their wives.  I just would have wanted my sibling there no matter what.

If nothing else, send your heartfelt regrets.  Just remember as a bride how sad you might be to find out she couldn’t make it to yours.  Be kind and sympathetic.  It’s never easy to hear that someone you were hoping would be there no longer can attend.

Post # 6
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

@Ka393:  Well, I know things can get tight.  I lost my job four months before our wedding (which we paid for entirely on our own) so I relate very much to the financial stress of planning.  Giving up something in my own wedding would have been HUGE for me.  I missed my cousins (whom I grew up with) wedding celebration due to financial constraints – it’s just plain tough.

I think given the fact that he is able to go, things with her will probably be okay. She might be upset at first, but hopefully she will understand as time goes on. What does your fiance think about the situation?

Post # 7
Member
3640 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@christalynn11: I think the OP said that they are thinking of just her not attending. Not both her and her FI. But I could have read it wrongly.

Can you drive there? Or could you Skype in? So at least it feels like you’ve tried your best? Could you borrow money from his parents to go? Bus?

Post # 8
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t understand where the huge extra cost is? You are already flying to him. Is the only extra cost your plane ticket from his hometown to Vegas and some food cost? Why not just cut back on things you do regularly. Things like going out for dinner or movies. Try to stay in a bit more. Don’t splurge as much on little things just stick to necessities. If you do that you should save enough to attend the wedding. I think a wedding is much more important than a few extras here and there.

Ask yourself, how will you feel sitting at home, “saving money” while everyone else is at the wedding having a great time celebrating a special moment? And also how will she feel if you miss her wedding but then attends yours as such an important person but you didn’t take the time to be there for hers?

Post # 9
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Is there any way for you or your FI to make a few extra bucks to help fund the trip? Is there anything the two of you could sell or any way one of you could get a side job or maybe donate a couple rounds of plasma? I know it sounds extreme but a siblings wedding is very important. Where are you leaving from? Maybe some bees know of a good website to help you save some cash. Is it too far to drive? I know being in a car for a long time isn’t ideal but usually paying for the gas is cheaper then flying. Just trying to throw out some ideas.

Post # 11
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@Ka393:I hate to be negative but why did you wait so long to book? I only ask because I just recently booked my tickets to Vegas for April and they were already going up then. Have you not even booked your tickets yet if you don’t know if your going? How does your FI feel about you missing such an important event?

Also: How much are you looking to pay for a hotel? I know my cousin is staying at the Playboy hotel for $20 a night. It’s not ideal but it would be cheap.

Post # 15
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@Ka393:I lie it was hooters! I will do some poking around for you.

Post # 16
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve stayed a lot of places in Vegas, including a $20/night off-strip hotel that was decent enough that I didn’t get skeeved out or feel like it was dirty.  We arrived on a Friday night (as part of a road trip), picked up a travel coupon book at a truck stop outside of town and booked a hotel in under an hour.  Cheap lodging is more possible in Vegas than most anywhere else I’ve visited.  Just be selective about where you look and stay off the strip.  Best of luck!

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