Post # 1
OK so here is the deal… my mom’s best friend is kind enough to host a bridal shower for me. She said the would love to invite my family, close family friends, my fiances family, and his close family friends. So nice…
I am not inviting my extended family because they are all from out East and would not be able to attend the shower. But my fiance’s family is all local so I asked his mother if she would like me to include all of them as well. She said yes that I must include them (40 women total!) and yet she has not offered to help with the shower in any way. I feel so uncomfortable asking my mom’s friend to foot the bill for all of these women that I dont even really know. My mom has said that she would help pay for the party because there are so many people, but I feel so bad because she is paying for the entire wedding too.
How do you politely say to his mom "can someone help my mom’s friend out" without sounding like "please throw me a party". And isnt it only polite that she offer to help (or someone from his side of the family) when planning a joint bridal shower??
Post # 3
Maybe you can sit down with your fiance’s mom and talk about plans for the shower – or talk to your friend’s mom and ask her about "co-hosting". You can include both of them on the shower invitations, and then they can split up the costs and responsibilities and not feel guilty about having more people from one side of the family. Is that a possibility?
Post # 4
I just feel kind of awkward – like she should have brought that up on her own…
Post # 5
Well, since your mom’s best friend is the one who generously offered to host the event, you or your mother should ask her what she is thinking in terms of a guest list that she can handle. Based upon that list, you can give your FI tell his mother how much extra room there is on the guest list. Your FI can suggest that if she wants to add 40 people (which is a completely unreasonable request from anyone who isn’t hosting the event) that she have her own bridal shower or needs to pay for her guests.
Post # 6
Oh! Good idea Professorbee!! I always pass that stuff back to my FI when it might be an uncomfortable situation!! 🙂