Sticky Situation For Cousin's Wedding

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I think it’s crappy to make family work at a family wedding regardless, but I would give her half off, not a full $1k.

Post # 5
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

nothing is free – i think 500 is resonable for a familymembervendor

Post # 6
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@brendaray2009:  I think it’s perfectly fair. We are having a videographer who is a family member and charging us for it at a reduced cost. Your deal sounds perfectly fair to me!

Post # 7
Member
42549 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Have you told her he said yes? If not, then I suggest that all future communication be bewtween the two of them.

He is a professional. He should be used to telling clients what his rate will be.

Best to clear this up asap.

Post # 8
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

 If she is going to be your MOH she will definitely be shelling out a lot of cash for your wedding for your festivities.  I’m going to go against the grain here and say this could be your wedding gift for her and things would probably even out expense wise.  I would have her cover the rental car/gas costs and make sure she knows in advance that it will need to be covered by her.

Post # 9
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I think the $500 is more than fair, considering the time, effort and his expertise. It’s been brought up on other threads to make sure that you put things in writing even if it’s for family or friends.

Post # 10
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@brendaray2009:  We’re having a good friend do ours and even though he offered, is also coming as a gust, and wants to do it as our wedding present, we’re still paying him.  I think half price is incredibly generous.  Better clear this up now, and since he’s the ‘vendor’ it would be best if he handled the communication and the details just to keep it as professional as possible.

Post # 11
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

She might not be aware of the costs involved for him (based on some threads on this forum, she wouldn’t be the only one). Estimate how much it costs him to spend the whole day there (hourly rate plus editing, equipment, travel, etc.) and then decide if charging 500$ is a gift (i.e. that’s less than he’s spending), breaking even or way over what it will cost him.

Post # 12
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@brendaray2009:  Is this your FI’s full-time job? Or does he eventually plan on making money off of it? Nothing in life is free. I used to be a full-time wedding photog and I charged all my friends close to 90% of my full-rate (I gave them a break on some products). I’d rather keep things professional by charging and having a contract. These situations often go really, really badly, so both sides should be protected. 

Post # 13
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee

You should put her in touch with him.  He would be her vendor, you are just hooking her up with him.

Goodluck!

Post # 14
Member
594 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think $500 is more than fair for the work he will be doing. He doesn’t cound like he will have time to be a guest at this wedding with the multiple places he has to go to take her pictures. I would suggest you are clear with her that he is not doing this for free. If she were hiring a photographer other than him it would cost her a lot more that $500 so he is saving her a ton.

Post # 15
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would have said yes the $500 was more then fair IF you had of already told your cousin the cost before your FI agreed to do it. Since no cost has been mentioned and it’s already been agreed upon, I’d say it’s too late. 

At this point I think your only option is to make the photography your wedding gift. 

Post # 16
Member
13020 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Since it sounds like you both would be at her wedding anyways, there’s no loss in another potential client for her wedding day or any additional costs to the both of you that you wouldnt have if you were simply attending.  If it were me, and he was willing to do it, I’d pitch it to her as a wedding gift to her from the both of you rather than charge her for it.

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