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My sister was married last year and we are no longer friends with one of her bridesmaids.
I had a friend from HS who was married during our college years. We had started to drift apart after college started, so I thought it a bit odd that I was asked to be a BM. I went along with it, chalking it up to her effort of rekindling friendships.
Boy, was I wrong! She has cut ties with pretty much everyone, and has become a hermit with her loser husband (we all tried to talk her out of marrying him!!).
All that I have left of the friendship is the ugly bridesmaid dress!! I'd post a picture, but I'd rather spare you the lilac-ish horror.
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I second the request for bridesmaid dress horrors. That could be a fun thread of its own!
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***Raises Hand*** I was the MOH for a good friend just this past summer, and had even asked her to be a BM in my wedding in May. I started to feeling like we were growing apart around the time that she asked me to be her MOH, but she had no other good friends, and no one in her family really cared that she was getting married (almost no one came except her very immediate family). In short, I did it because I wanted to help her create joyful wedding day memories, and I knew she needed someone's commitment and support to help make it happen. As a result, I felt compelled to ask her to be a BM in my wedding, because we were engaged at the same time, and it was a matter of planning that came up for both of us around the same time. I really didn't question whether I had a choice.
We started to completely grow apart within about two months of the wedding and have almost nothing in common anymore. It felt very harsh to cut her from the guest list, and start planning for her no longer being in the wedding, but it was the right thing to do.
About 4 years ago I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding. I was friends with the bride and the groom (actually I've known the groom longer than I knew the bride). A month before the wedding she called off the whole things. About 6 months later our friendship was falling apart. I've always kept in touch with the ex-groom but the ex-bride and I stopped talking all together. About a month ago, she had the audacity to email (after not talking for 3.5 years) to ask if I still do photography and if I would be interested in shooting her wedding. LoL. I went from bridesmaid to wedding photographer. I'm thinking I might over charge her for the ugly bridemaid dress that I bought and altered but never wore.
Miss Sushi - WHOA I can't believe she had the nerve to ask you to photograph her wedding after all that!
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Ali - was the fight directly related to the wedding? You don't have to answer -- just purely curious. I wonder how much strain a stressful wedding sometimes puts on a relationship!
The fight was a combo of a couple things... I had caught her in a bunch of lies before the wedding, she had started lying to a lot of her friends and family but never me, I guess she started forgetting who she lied to and who she told the truth... her now husband is an Arse, he was an Arse to me and FH at the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and the wedding. But the icing on the cake was when I left my Tiffany necklace in the Bridal Suite and her parents emptied out the suite and put the necklace in their car. Her parents live about 30 mins from me, but she lives 4 hrs so I texted her to just have her parent keep it in their car and I would get it when we all got home. She said she had it and I could pick it up in the lobby of their hotel... so the morning after the wedding FH and I drove 1/2 in the opposite direction of our 4 hr drive home to pick-up my necklace from the front desk of her hotel and she didn't leave it, I called and called and she didn't pick-up so we hung out for 1/2 near the hotel just in case she called back. When she did call back she had been in the shower and her husband had heard me calling but didn't answer the phone, she had forgotten to leave the necklace, but didn't think it was important to call me and let me know not to drive out to get it. Longer story short - I finally got the necklace back 1 month later after her husband had told her he mailed it and it sat in his car and she lied to me about mailing it 2 other times. When I tried to talk to her about it - she blamed the whole situation on me, mad at me b/c I didn't realize that something must be wrong with her if she's acting like that and I should have known. I appoligized for anything I could have done better in the situation and left it open to her to appoligize for her mishaps and contact me... we haven't spoken in 3 yrs.
Ali, it was the same dumb crap (lies and such) that ended the friendship between me and my friend. Honestly, I think I'm better off with out her and it sounds like you are too.
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It is so sad when that happens.... I was a BM in my best friend from high school's wedding just a few months after we graduated college. Things were becoming strained between us at that point because we were in such different stages of our lives. So strained that my mom even suggested I back out of the wedding... I felt bad doing that though and we had a lot of very close mutual friends. Fast forward 5 months after the wedding with very minimal contact and we saw each other at a Christmas party, things were as awkward as they ever had been and now 6 years later we have not spoken/seen each other since that day. We never even had a fight, just drifted away. I've always wondered if she regrets having me in the wedding, but it was such an odd time period that I'm not sure what either of us could have even done in hindsight.
I was MOH for a college friend years ago. We were relatively close at the time, but I was actually pretty surprised she asked me to be MOH. She has since moved to another state and we haven't talked for several years. There aren't any bad feelings or anything, we just lost touch. I feel kind of weird that I was her MOH and we're not even inviting them, but we're also keeping numbers down and I didn't want to invite them instead of friends I see all the time.
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I was a BM for my good friend's wedding but immediately after her honeymoon, things changed. No longer was I the good friend who was always there for her but now, she's MARRIED and I'm not so according to her, I can't understand any issues she is facing. We're still friends but to a much lesser extent and it makes me sad.
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I'm pretty sure my MOH and I won't talk after the wedding. I'm surprised I'm admitting this because sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person! She and I got in a big fight early in my engagement - she was lying to me, seemed like she wasn't interested in not only my wedding but in me as her friend, and it seemed like we didn't have a real friendship. Nothing really changed, but we made up and she has kind of thrown herself into best-MOH-ever! mode. It seems really fake to me, but I was selfish and decided it would be easier to just let it go than "kick her out" and deal with the fall out from her and our mutual friends (almost all of my friends are also her friends, I've just known her the longest). Once this is over, my motivation to stay friendly will be gone.
Wow, you ladies have me worried now! All my maids are my best friends, and i can't imagine my life without them, which is why their in my wedding. They've all told me that I'm so laid back with the whole wedding planning process, which is how I want my whole wedding to be. I"m hoping to get into yoga here soon, and not turn into a bridezilla at any point. I'm hoping that my whole wedding will bring us closer together, and years down the road when the others get married (one's married, the other 3 are single) I hope to be bridesmaids in their weddings. My sister tells me I'll be here MOH, she would have been mine but we decided not to do that, since my FI couldn't pick a best man. She's going to be standing right next to me anyway, cuz in all sense of the word she is to me anyway. I hope you and your maids all remain tight after the wedding!
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I had a similar situation to Jessie516, I was one of the MOHs in a college friend's wedding. We were very close friends at the time of her wedding and I was very honored to be in her wedding. We are planning on inviting them to our wedding, but we aren't super close anymore at all. My fiance and I even went to visit them (they live in a another state) for a summer vacation last year. After that, we hardly spoke at all. I would call and she basically returned my messages via Facebook. We went from practically best friends to acquaintences via Facebook for, in my opinion, no reason at all!
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Im going through a situation also with a very good friend of mine ( I would consider her a best friend) . I have been friends with her since childhood. We grew apart in high school and about 4 years ago became good friends again. She got engaged almost 2 years ago and I have been helping her with as much as I can. I have sent her idea after idea. Help her with finding a venue. Call places to find her dress etc... Even though I was giving her ideas and helping her (which she wanted ) she wasn't as motivated in doing anything for her wedding since she was having a long engagement to to money issues. She knew I was soon to be engaged so it wasn't a surprise but as soon as that ring was on my finger she has become a bridezilla... All of a sudden she is very demanding and needs me to 'help' her with everyhing and now she is saying that I have 'changed' since i am engaged. My engagement is 9 months long and I feel like I don't have much time. I was going to ask her to be my MOH but she has changed so much. We have been in a big arguement over this and she thinks it is my fault. I guess I just felt like when I went to visit her a few months back that we had NOTHING in common anymore. I have slightly suggested we not be in eachothers weddings but I don't think she got the point. Im sure I could be handling this differently but I am too stressed about my wedding to deal with this. She has changed, we have nothing in common and I just don't agree with the way she is directing her life towards and don't see the point in 'pretending' to be friends just so we can be in eachothers weddings. I am very upset about this but don't know really how to handle it.
I still talk to all of them, but it is VERY infrequent with most, and I've only been MOH for my sister, so of course we still talk. ;) Of course, most of my friends aren't phone chatty, and we mostly live in other states...
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I was the MOH in a wedding 3 years ago, right after the wedding the Bride and I got in a fight and we haven't spoke since... have you been in a wedding where you no longer speak to the Bride/Groom?