(Closed) Still patiently waiting for my E ring…. and it is killing me! (long rant)

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 4
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@wifey2be:  I’m so sorry to hear things are hard for you guys right now πŸ™ my only advise would be embrace your beautiful gold band and show it off to everyone! it is nothing to ashamed of! even if you had the biggest most expensive rock around, there will always be people who judge! don’t let them have an effect on this special time in your life (and remember the saying.. those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind πŸ˜‰

When you do get your rock it will be all the more special, and it will probably feel like you’re engaged all over again which is kind of amazing, most girls don’t get two engagements!

Keep your chin up girl, you will get the ring you deserve and when you do, make sure you show it off like crazy on the bee! xx

Post # 5
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@wifey2be:  ps I just noticed your an aussie bee, me too!!! πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@wifey2be:  we can see paragraphs in your post dont worry.  To be honest I think you are over thinking it a bit when you talk about people looking at your gold band, I would never judge another womans engagement ring and I am sure most woudnt.  To get extra money is there anyway you can earn from home whle looking after the children, ie selling unwanted things/ clothes, toys on ebay, or cutting down household costs. Also (as a bee who waited a long time for an ering due to many reasons) I think it is more impt to pay off your debt than buy a ring.  I know it is hard looking at other rings etc, but there will always be people who have more things and bigger and better stuff.  Please do not let this become a sore point in your relationship.  Could you buy a nice stand-in costume jewellary ring to wear alongside your gold band?

Edit: I know how hard it can be when you own your own business, there can be a lot of financial pressure.

 

Post # 8
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@wifey2be:  Hang in there! Like another PP said, you’re probably being more self-conscious of not having an e-ring based on your own feelings and projecting a little on others’ potential judgments.  My friend’s wife never got a traditional e-ring.  She is a prestigious doctor and actually asked for a simple gold band.  As far as I know, no one has been judgmental about it, plus of course all my guy friends thought it was cool that he didn’t have to put down money for a fancy e-ring.  Good luck on your tough times, it sounds like you have a wonderful husband-to-be and children and you guys will make it work (and you’ll get the ring of your dreams).

Post # 9
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@wifey2be:  sounds like you are working very hard to give the best to your kids.  I hope your FI’s business continues to grow and you get your ring.  Best of luck.

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

My mother never got an engagement ring, and she and my father don’t wear their wedding bands….haven’t for decades…. I don’t think anyone judges their 30+ year marriage because of it. I have always respected that for them it is about the marriage….not about the jewellery.  Don;t worry about what other people think…

Post # 11
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@wifey2be:  aww, sorry you don’t have your dream ring yet. You have lots of company, many women don’t have engagement rings. It’s not a necessity.(Just icing on the cake Smile)  Since you and your fiance already have 2  babies together,  it’s doubtful anyone is really looking to see an engagement type ring on your finger.  You’re already wearing what appears to be a wedding ring-if anything, that is what some people are looking for Wink. So many married women don’t even wear their engagement rings once they have babies because of the prongs etc. so I would definitely not worry about someone noticing a lack of “engagement” ring.

Everyone knows once the kids come, expendable cash goes out the door!  Just a harsh reality. Hopefully someday you’ll have the ring of your dreams too.

Best wishes. Congrats on your Bachelors degree.

Post # 12
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You do have an engagement ring. He proposed with a ring and you wear it every day.  

It sounds to me that you and your partner have your priorities straight, and while that means that there will be a long delay in getting your “dream ring”, you can be proud of the choices you’re making now for the betterment of your future.

Also, I think if you change how you view your gold band, you’ll be less unhappy and impatient. Your refer to it as your “little gold band” and waiting for a “proper” ring.  The truth is, you have an engagement ring and don’t let anyone (or yourself) make you feel that the one you have is less than or not good enough than a “proper” ring (what’s a “proper” ring, anyways?).  If you want a more traditional style ring down the road, so be it.  But try to truly embrace the ring you have, it IS your engagement ring and there’s nothing wrong with an elegant, simple and classic band.  

I have a band as my was-engagement-and-now-wedding-band multipurpose ring.  Anyone who assumes that a band isn’t an engagement ring is narrow minded.  

Post # 13
Member
3402 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My first thought when reading this is that if I saw a person out in public who was engaged and had a gold band on, I’d just assume that she didn’t want to wear her blinger ring around town that day. It certainly wouldn’t be cause for me to look down on them (not that I make a habit of doing that).

I think at the moment you should put this on the back burner as you have a lot of other priorities and you really have to take care of first. If the money magically appears, which someday it finally, let that be the day. But don’t burden yourself now trying to get more than you can afford.

 

Post # 14
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

aww, i get that’d be fairly disheartening, peoples reactions can be a bit hurtful and its easy to take them personally. I hope things settle soon so you can get the ring you dream of! totally get the one income thing (same boat here) but we dont have the added stress of running a business to deal with!

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