Post # 1
I keep waking up in the morning with anxiety over things that upset me on my wedding day. The first was I totally freaked out and forgot the second half of our very expensive choreographed first dance that we practiced so hard for. On the bright side, most people I asked about didn’t notice (we just winged the end). Secondly, while I was going table to table greeting guests and getting table shots, my aunt asked me if she could get a photo of her and her family. I said sure and told the photographer. I honestly thought this meant quickly and on the dance floor. When I was posing for another shot with all my cousins near the dance floor I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor where the photogropher was (so he could get this pic). Turns out he was in a separate room with my aunt basically having a family portrait session!!! I gracefully stood for a quick photo with my aunts and uncles and said that no one should hijack my photogropher and left to go back to the party. I don’t know how long they were out there, but could not believe how rude that was. Shouldn’t a photogropher know better? Anyway, there is nothing I can do now, but did anyone else have things that nagged at them after the wedding? How did you get it to stop?
Post # 2
Yes that was unprofessional of your photographer. He should have known better. At least you got him back fairly quickly.
I overlooked the few bad things, and was just overjoyed to be married. The marriage is more important than the wedding!
Post # 3
I completely understand what you’re going through… I had the same feeling for weeks, not right after my wedding but it started when we received our photos from the photographer. 90% of the photos he took were from the decoration, the guests, objects & landscape views of the whole wedding scene. I only found 2 photos from us not being taken from far, and too bad it wasn’t excellent! I so much loved my hair & makeup, and I don’t even have one professional photo of it!!
I was upset for weeks because I could do nothing about it, it was too late to fix it. Then my husband came out with this wonderful idea of getting an intimate photo session back in Paris (where we had our wedding) for our 1 Year Anniversary. I bought the prettiest dress, hired the same person to style my hair and do makeup, and we got an amazing photographer who focused the whole shooting on ourselves. Now I have this wonderful couple portrait hanging in my living room and it really comforted us. I’m not mad anymore 🙂 So all that story of mine just to suggest that you try to find a solution, something you can plan in the future that will ease the anger and fix what happened in the past, where you can’t go back… Maybe tell your aunt about how rude that was from her, if you think that will make you feel better, and why not keep practicing that dance, so you don’t forget it and can do it again on other big occasions?
Post # 4
Two weeks isn’t a very long time since the event, really – I mean, considering how long you were planning/preparing for it. It’s understandable to be frustrated with things that didn’t go according to plan!
I would suggest that every time you think about the parts you were unhappy about, you then force yourself to remember the good parts too, so you don’t dwell on the negative, and are able to cement the good memories in your mind!
Post # 5
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you asked your photographer to take the photos of your aunt’s family. You put him/her in a situation YOU requested he/she do. They were doing what you asked them to do. However, before you worry maybe ask if you could get a sneak peak so that you can see some good photos and hopefully put your mind at ease.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn
2 weeks is no time at all, im not suprised youre still upset by them. try to remember the good from your day and these small negative points will fade.
i know how you feel – our wedding was last october, i had a friends parents offer to do our photography for us as a gift. they are professional photographers but this doesnt show at all through the pics i have ended up with. they were complete wankers that i wish i had never used – i treated them as guests and included them in the sit down meal and had them stay and enjoy the evening reception once their ‘job’ was done. i have no informal pics of my family, no close ups of my dress or accesories, no pics of my handmade items and a good chunk of the ‘pro’ photos they sent me had redeye, blurs, eyes shut and were poorly lit. out of the “thousands” of shots they took (their words) i received 300 on a disc. they then wanted to charge me £600 for an album.
HOWEVER – turning the negative positive… i taught myself how to use photoshop and re-edited their pics. i have made myself a 50 page lay flat photo album from a mix of photos that i have collated from the pros, friends and family and I love it.
the negatives WILL fade – dont beat yourself up about the dance, noone noticed, your photographer SHOULD have known better – but its happened and you cant change it. hopefully the photographer didnt miss any key moments from your wedding while he was away doing this – and you never know – he may have gotten a lovely shot of your aunt and family that you can pop in your album!
Post # 7
1. You absolutely have a right to be upset.
2. You need to find a way past it.
I’d be peeved about them hijacking your photographer, and him allowing it. I’d be disappointed that my dance didn’t go as I’d planned. But, surely there were good things too. If nothing else, you are now married to someone you love!
Post # 8
aconnor82: My advice to you is “dont try to get over it” Be as upset as you want to be for as long as you need to be.
My flowers were the wrong color. I choose black Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses so the flowers would pop, but ended up not having them in the formal photos because I hated the color so much. During my honeymoon I was so upset I would wake up suddenly in the middle of the night shaking. Flowers were important to me.
I tried to get over it. I really did. But I found that it just drug the pain along. It wasnt until a month or more later that I just gave myself permission to be pissed, did the pain start to finally go away. But I have to say, 4 years later, it still makes me upset.
But the difference is, I have 1,000 other memories of that day and all the moments since then, so the pain isn’t as intense. Yes, if I really think about it steam starts shoot out my ears, but I rarely think about it. (And prob only think about it at all since I’m on WB talking about it LOL)
So be as angry as you need to be (without being a rude bitch or debbie downer) for as long as you need to be.
Post # 9
aconnor82: Your aunt was rude too. Does she know how you feel?
Post # 10
aconnor82: I think a lot of people have things that nag them after the wedding, it sort of comes with the territory of pouring in so much energy into one single day. Talk about high expectations!
Now, depending on the severe of things, different issues will upset you for different amounts of time. Our wedding was a very unfortunate eye opener to how our parents weren’t willing to set aside their personal pet peeves even for an event that meant so much to us. A year later, that still hurts, there are days when it makes me incredibly sad – but then again, I wake up every single day being SO happy that we’re married! Pain/things that annoyed you will fade with time, and so will your feelings. You might be remembered from time to time and the feelings will rush back in, but I’m sure that with some more time you’ll be able to move forward and not let these things nag you to the same extent they do now.
Post # 11
There isn’t really any point at being upset now that it is over and there is ALWAYS something that goes wrong at every wedding. We had a very expensive choreographed dance which we forgot the ending to it, but like you NO ONE noticed. Everyone thought it was cute. Yes I wish it would have gone better but we had a blast learning it and now I’m married to my best friend. We also had some flowers that never got there, some that were not at all what I asked for, and all of them came super late (like I didn’t have my bouquet until 5 seconds before walking down the aisle). And the florists definitely yelled and screamed at my aunt when we asked where they were 5 minutes before the ceremony and was moreover very unprofessional. But again, I’m married, and still had a great time at my wedding, so that is all that matters.
Yes that was very rude of your aunt, and unprofessional of your photographer. She probably didn’t do it intensionally as a rude thing, and it sounds like you still got plenty of pictures. Honestly… if that is all that went wrong with your wedding, you had a very smooth wedding!! Now enjoy being married!!
Post # 12
I totally agree with “give yourself permission to be angry.” TONS of things went wrong at my wedding last October that I don’t want to dwell on, but all were comparably minor compared to the fact that our officiant pronounced my husband’s name wrong multiple times, even when I corrected him, all during the ceremony! Also a bunch of people told us our officiant was too quiet and they missed stuff… in our small space and 60-guest ceremony that’s pretty inexcusable for a professional. And I literally wrote our secular ceremony from scratch and was so proud of itB Luckily our vows and friends’ reading were audible as they were the most important! I was so rageful in the days after the fact, but luckily in the moment everything was too exciting and that’s the feeling I prefer to dwell on.
Post # 13
aussiemum1248: Hit the nail on the head. It’s about the marriage and not the party…
HOWEVER, I would totally take issue with what your aunt did. I would go so far as to have my photographer delete those pictures. That was NOT the time or place for it!!! Then again…I’m really spiteful lol, and the photographer should have KNOWN BETTER!!! Who DOES that??!!
Post # 14
aconnor82: Get over it. Those things are hardly worth getting upset about, especially two weeks later. Life keeps moving.
Post # 15
aconnor82: Not to marginalize your feelings but both of those things seem very, very minor. I am sure you still had a wonderful evening and lots of laughs and warm memories. Remember those and forget the rest.
For perspective – my venue’s A/C broke 5 days before the wedding and they did not fix it and did not tell me. So the entire reception was miserably hot and cut very very short. THAT was a huge issue and I was definitely still upset 2 weeks after the wedding. Thankfully I am over it now – mainly because I reviewed the crap out of the venue on every site possible. That made me feel a lot better haha! Now I just focus on this awesome man I married and how gorgeous my dress was. Plus we have planned a one-year anniversary photo shoot in the mountains (where I can wear my gorgeous dress again! and he can wear his suit) so now I have something new to look forward to.
Focus on the positive 🙂