- 5 years ago
Hi I’m posting because like many other out there I have not yet received a proposal from my long term BF.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years now. We own a home and have a dog we adopted in common. We have lived together for nearly the entire time we’ve been dating. We have even moved across 3 states together due to work and other live changes. Needless to say, he is my love and the true definition of partner. We have had great times and defiantly some rough times. I took a job over seas for a six month contract just two years past, and he supported me and stayed by my side the whole time.
Now, he travels a lot for work (he’s a paid musician) in fact often we’re apart a month at a time. I’d say we only get a full 7 months out of the year together if were lucky. It brings me down sometimes, the loneliness, yet it’s a lifestyle that you get accustomed to and I know that it is not permanent. In a few years at the most we will no longer be traveling all over the world and both of us will have work right from home.
Either way, it would really help while we are seperated and only getting to talk and email everyday if we were actually husband and wife or at least engaged. That way I could validate all the lonely times. Right now he will be home for the next two months and we have lots of projects to work on!
Point is still that by this stage we should have been married already. And I don’t understand why we are not. We have spoken of marriage and children and we are on the same page. Each time we have spoken of marriage both in passing playfully and serious conversations he says that we will certainly be wed, we have even spoken of what type of wedding we want with family, friends, ect… Still no ring, no proposal. I feel like it could never happen.
I also feel as though I have played the card of the “good wife” I take care of our home life and doggy and make sure everything is in order for when he comes home, yet I am not actually his wife. Our relationship is strong, and it’s built off a trusting foundation. I never worry while he is away, and visa versa.
Its just I am tiered of this waiting game, my BF doesn’t like the idea of a long engagement but I have made it clear that we need the “engagement” time to allow our closest in on the fun and to allow ourselves the mental preparation we need.
What do I do next!? I need a proposal to feel validated at this point. I am getting older, 23 when we started dating and will be turning 28 soon. I want to know that these best years of our lives will be shared on. I don’t want to put him in a corner or pressure him, but come on! It has been 2 1/2 years since he originally said we would be wed. Which I have brought up in the past, he said it was an arbitrary amount of time and what mattered is that we loved each other and had a good relationship. Well I really need the engagement phase already. I don’t want to leave him; it’s just a tough spot to be in. Any advice is welcomed. Thanks.