- 6 years ago
I’ve written my story before. To sum it all up, FI’s mom *offered* to pay half of our wedding costs if I switched to a more expensive venue. I found a suitable venue, put down a deposit, and now it looks like FI’s parents don’t plan to help. I am at my wits freaking end with this. I asked FI to talk to his parents, but he hasn’t yet. All I’m asking is half of the food bill, which would be around $1500 for them. That is NOTHING to them, btw. My mom, who only makes $30K per year, has volunteered to pay the $1000 room fee for us. I really don’t think it is fair to make her pay for half of the the food, too. Besides us kids, my grandfather will be my mom’s only relative at the reception. Why should she have to pay all that money, when half of the guests will be FI’s family? Especially since she’s chipping in more than her share by paying the room fee.
Anyway, my FMIL knows how stressed I am about this wedding cost thing. Ever since I got in this more expensive venue, and have realized that the FILs probably aren’t planning to help, I”ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to come up with $3000 on my own (on top of saving for a home and furniture for that home). Even though they haven’t pitched in a dime, FMIL goes around telling everyone, “We’ve got the venue reserved and we just bought…” I’m like, uhhh, you didn’t buy anything!
So, FCIL is going to try to get pregnant at the end of the year. The other night she was here and she was like, “I’ll probably just use my old crib.” and FMIL said, “Well, I’ll probably buy you a new crib for the baby.” Wow. Okay, I am having to bake cupcakes for my own wedding because I cannot afford to buy a cake after I pay for all of that food. The FILs bought FCIL’s wedding cake and a bunch of other stuff. They paid her custody legal fees. They pay for half of everything for her daughter (birthday parties, cheerleading, Christmas, etc.). Yet, I am marrying their flesh and blood son and we get NOTHING!
It kind of hurts my feelings, to be honest. They’re giving FSIL a free house to live in, fully remodled. She ignores them and talks to them like crap, never comes around and spends time with her family. My other FSIL curses them, disrespects them, lies to them, and steals from them, and they are about to co-sign on a $12,000 car for her! Why? Because she ruined her other one! They pay FBIL’s child support EVERY month to keep him out of jail… I just don’t get it.
Let me just make it clear that I never asked them for any money. When I got engaged, I planned to pay for everything myself. But, my plans were strictly within my means. Not exactly the fancy wedding FMIL had envisioned for her child. When FMIL saw a really nice venue, she suggested we swtich and said she and FFIL would pay half. I thought that was such a generous offer and I was beyond happy. When I went to reserve, though, FMIL made no mention of paying half of the deposit. So, I paid it, myself. I’m just wondering why she’d say that she would pay half, when she clearly does not intend to do so. No, it’s not their finances, either. They are financially well-off. I go to the bank with FMIL every week and she tells me their financial business. I go on all of her shopping sprees with her, too. I know what they have and what they spend. What I’m expecting for a contribution to my wedding would be around half of what FMIL blows every week on shopping sprees.
I am leaving this up to FI, though. It is not my place to ask his parents if they still plan to help out. I asked MY mom for help, and now it’s his turn. I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading!