Post # 1
Saturday, 2/19/2011 Okay, I just received a call this morning from lets just say a relative whom we’ve both have been through a lot since my mother passed away 6 1/2 years ago. I’m getting married on March 5th of this year (2011). I’m having a small intimate wedding. She, is one of the invited guest. Well, she just called me to inform me she got married yesterday. She eloped with her boyfriend. I’m happy for her but on the other hand I’m like really you could not wait till at least after we got married! I know it’s not on the day of my wedding but since her and her husband will be guest how hard it will be for them not mention it. I’m not a person that likes to be center of attention but REALLY! How do respond to that? And then she didn’t even tell me she was getting married after all the encouragement and help I’ve given her. Oh well, I just had to get this off my chest!
Post # 3
Totally not stolen thunder! And there’s really no law or rule that says she has to wait til you get married, sorry. You say “Congratulations” and move on.
Post # 4
Eh, she could have timed it better. But reality is she didn’t. She probably didn’t even think of it the way you are taking it – some people don’t. Would I want to do that right before a relatives wedding? No. But not everyone is me and she doesn’t “have” to wait. Venting is good. 🙂 Hopefully venting here will help you deal with her better in two weeks. Just tell her Congrats, how great for her, and then go on about your wedding.
Post # 5
Say congrats and move on.
On your wedding day – you will be the one in the wedding dress and the you and your Groom will be the people that everyone wants to see. She is not talking anything away from that.
Yes, people may be talking to her about her elopement but not when you are around – people have a lot of time to socialize at weddings. You won’t even know it’s happening!
Post # 6
@Daisy11: Eh, the timing could’ve been better, I mean, the 5th is 2 weeks away. They couldn’t wait too weeks? But then again, better before than after, no? People will be left with the memory of your beautiful wedding in their minds! She’ll probably be at your wedding wishing she had done it that way. That day is all about you and whether you think so now or not, it WILL be all about you. There’s no way that you people will be able to ignore you and your happy occasion, so don’t worry!
Post # 7
Relax. Be gracious. Congratulate her, share in her happiness. Then, celebrate your day. 🙂
Post # 8
I mean it’s not like she decided to have an actual wedding before yours…she eloped. I don’t think this is really a case of stolen thunder. I understand being a little bummed that she didn’t tell you before they did it, seeing as how y’all have been through a lot together. I think this is a case of saying congratulations and moving on. People can be just as excited for you on your wedding day, even if they’re excited for her as well. I’m sure you’ve been excited for more than one thing at a time:)
Post # 9
I think sometimes people planning a wedding forget that just because their life currently revolves around their getting married soon, it doesn’t mean that everyone else’s lives should! It’s not a competition! You’re day will be your day no matter what. Why not just be happy for each other?
Post # 10
Congratulate her and you should feel honored and happy to have her at your wedding for a few reasons.
In reality, she’s not having the big wedding, so she can live vicariously through yours. 😉
It will give your guests something to talk about at the table. Big deal she got married before you. Trust me, you will be busy with your new husband and you probably won’t even care while you dance the night away.
I doubt that she purposely wanted to steal your thunder. I think it would be nice and even a good sport to “toast” them at your wedding. It will make you feel better and one up!
My sister eloped and it left the family angry for some time. I am sure ‘she’ has her own issues to deal with. Enjoy your wedding!
Post # 11
Sorry, but in no way is that “stealing your thunder”.
People are allowed to get married before and after you. I am sorry you feel hurt that she didn’t tell you they were doing that, but it sounds like it worked best for them. Just enjoy your day.
Post # 12
As someone who will be eloping- FI and just found it too hard to plan around others. We’ve been waiting for years to live in the same city and move in permanently, so wanted to get married in June right after I graduate. Then guess what? His sister is due, my brother’s gf is due, and a cousin is getting married, all within two weeks of our ideal date.
So we’re doing it in April. Some family will be upset, someone may feel their thunder has been stolen. But when you’ve wanted and waited to be husband and wife, sometimes you gotta just do it.
I’m sorry your hurt. It’s fair to be a little upset, you can’t help your feelings. But it’s not fair to be angry at either of them. And it will not take away from your day. Be gracious and applaud them. 🙂