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Aww I hear ya. Just try not to let it bother you..although I know once I'm married next year I'll start getting those questions and will probably feel the same way you do =(
I agree! People were asking us about babies at OUR WEDDING! We just got married geez! At least no one has bothered us lately!
Yeah.. I am wondering if itll stop after our 1 year.. or does it just get worse? I know with my MIL it will get worse. @ every holiday she says... "maybe this time next year we will be celebrating a future grandbaby." Jeez.
I haven't heard anything from people this past year but some of the people that bothered me before, I don't talk to much.
As a student too I totally feel your pain. I was reading a similar post a couple of months ago and thought "That would never happen to me. People know me well enough not to ask such questions." I was utterly and completely WRONG! My FFIL has baby fever (So are you two sure you want to get married? In that case, when are we going to have some grandkids???). We went to a family gathering for my cousin's baby and got asked by several people (You two will be next! In about a year or so we will be celebrating your baby.) Ugh. It's both annoying and bad manners! Whats even more irritating is that none of these people inquire about graduation or my life plans!
My favorite is "so how's married life treatin' ya?"
Really?
Um...it's great, thanks??
I don't get this question... if it were bad (it's not), would they really want to hear it?
@ Laylabelle I agree with the married life question. I know its only small talk and people are just trying to be nice.. but what is there to say? AND when I go into some random story about my husband their eyes get glazed over and they really look bored. hahaha. so stop asking if you dont wanna hear! haha.
@ kieshamichaels I am so glad to hear someone else with my dillema! School is so important to me, and being the first person in my family to graduate is so awesome, but no one seems to care in light of baby talk. I have told people (esp MIL) numerously that student teaching is 2 semesters and there is absolutely zero time for a baby until school is finished. When people hear I am in school I think that they must not take me seriously or remember anything I say and that is so insulting!
Why do people think it's OK to ask personal questions like that? I would NEVER, ever, ever.
I have a friend who has been trying to conceive for years, and it's so brutal for her when people ask that question. So she and her husband finally decided to adopt this year, and now she gets, constantly, "Oh, well now that you've adopted a baby of course you'll get pregnant!" She finds that incredibly painful, too. People just don't think. Jaws just gotta be flappin' at all times.
Amazingly, we haven't had anyone ask us yet.. but it's probably because everyone who knows us well enough to ask us also knows we're trying to pay down our student loans first. That, and that I'd sock them if they asked me.
I'm not even married yet and I've started fielding questions about having a baby, so I can't even imagine what will happen after the wedding!
I feel like you can never win. When you're single everyone asks "When are you going to get a boyfriend? Why are you still single?". Then you find someone and it's "When are you getting married?". Then you get engaged and you get "When are you having kids??? Give us babies!!!!". Good lord people! Can't we all just relax and enjoy being where we are right now!!!!! Stop harrassing me!!!!
@bakerella LOL, SO true!!! Its never gonna end!!!
@ fontgoddess youre sooo right. I work with and meet tons of newlyweds and I never ask them the Baby question. You NEVER know what someone is going through, and to ask such a personal question could really hurt someone.
Holy, I am NOT going to cope well if people start asking me this once I'm married. For some reason the whole "you have to have kids one day" notion is almost enough to make me think I might not want kids...
Yep I had someone ask me at my wedding reception if I was pregnant (while I was holding a glass of wine by the way).
We also had a couple write in one of our wedding cards that they hope we have millions of babies (I've already told said couple that I have PCO syndrome and might not be able to conceive, so I thought that was a little tack less).
Suppose people must just get really exited and forget.
I absolutely HATE the "how's married life" question. I have begun answering with "pretty much the same as living together life..."
That's horrible, don 't people know how rude they are being?
I think you should start answering with "why do you ask?"
I've been getting this a lot lately....apparently by the time you have a 1 year anniversary, you should be knocked up. What's going on with the world?!
@ejs4y8 Just imagine what will be said at your 2 year anniversary! :)
I'm only getting this from my mother-in-law, but since it's a cultural thing, it doesn't bother me. Nobody else has said anything (so far!).. I agree with all of you-people need to just be quiet! I just got the "How's married life" for the first time the other day. I just said, "It's good"...we already lived together first, so nothing really changed much. Not sure what else I should have said? Geez. :)
Ugh, I hate the baby question! My MIL is the WORST. Every e-mail, every phone conversation, every time I see her, she's all "When are you having kids???" And like, she already HAS a grandchild, so I don't know what her rush is! She keeps blathering on about how she wants to do this road trip to see National Parks with "all her grandchildren" and she's worried that by the time my husband and I have kids and get old enough to do it, the other grandkid will be too old and not want to do it! I'm like "Give me a break lady, I'm not pushing out babies just so you can do some road trip!"
@domestic_cat: Omg! I had a girl write that in my shower card. Wtf?! It's my bridal shower not a baby shower!!!! The worst part is that she's getting married two weeks after me, so you know she's getting the "When are you having babies" question every other day too, so why would she do that?!
I've been hearing this question for about a year now, and my wedding hasn't even happened yet! Ahhh!
We're not even married and we get this All The Time. So annoying. Yes, I know we're not in our 20s, but we aren't over the hill yet.
You poor thing! I know how you feel, kind of. We're already getting asked about kids and we aren't even married yet! You're right-- it is so personal. And inappopriate for people to badger you about it.
I say just come up with a polite but firm answer, and pull it out whenever you need.
Ohhhh, I'm afraid I will come unglued on someone when these questions start coming (on a more regular basis). I am a very private person and people prying into something that is extremely personal gets my temper going like no other. I had someone ask me several months ago if the hubs and I are going to start trying soon. When I responded with no, we aren't trying, she got even nosier to ask why...so I put her on the spot and said, "Well, as you know, we are in a long distance relationship at the moment. And considering you know what it takes to make a baby, being apart makes getting pregnant EXTREMELY difficult. So, I'm sure you understand now why we're not trying." You could tell she felt extremely awkward after that, but that's what she gets for being nosie. I mean, seriously, she knows my husband lives elsewhere...why would she assume we're trying??? Weirdohead.
This is when you answer a question with a question "why do you ask?". That usually gets the point across, relieves you from having to answer a stupid question, and gets people off your case.
All the time. My mom's the worst and it just got worse last weeekend.
We are getting the same thing and we already have our two year old son. I had him in the middle of university - crazyness! I took this past year off and am going back this fall to complete teachers college and everyone wants to know when we are having a little girl - um...how about a) we dont want another child and b) i finish my university degree that i worked so hard for.....pushy people!
We have been getting this for years and we are getting married until Oct! I think it's because his younger brother just turning 23 Aug has a 2nd grader and a preschooler, along with his older brother and his sister. We want to wait though until we are at a time in our life when WE are ready. So it would be really nice if people would let us just plan our life and not nag about us having kids.
I have a monthly conference call at work, and there's one guy who EVERY meeting starts with asking me if I'm still married. He's not flirting, he's just "being funny". You don't know how badly I'm tempted EVERY TIME to start crying and say we broke up. But I don't want to ruin what needs to be a productive work call.
I think this starts about 6 months after the wedding if you aren't already obviously preggo. I posted to another thread that my MIL asked about grandkids and I told her, "When your son stops hating infants we'll have kids." She hasn't asked since.
As for the whole "how's married life treating ya" question, I find a wink, a grin and the comment "exhausting" shuts peeps up quickly. Obviously for people like your priest a "just fine" is a more appropriate answer!
I think people ask this b/c most people view women as clawing guys eyes out to get married and have babies. They assume it's what we want to do, so I guess they're just asking how it's going. I also know so many couples who got married and pregnant immediately so I think it's normal.
For the longest time no one mentioned a word about reproducing to us, but all the sudden now our Mom's have made it clear they are expecting us to have babies. It really only makes me sad b/c we're pretty sure that is not in the future for us.
I get what you mean, but part of me WISHES that I was hearing that instead of "Don't even THINK about having kids yet!!" which is all I've heard since I got engaged. I guess you always want what you don't have...especially since I DO want to start trying soon.
@ejs4y8: That is almost verbatim what I asked FH the other night. We were talking about how so many people have gotten married and pregnant immediately, and FH said that probably lots of people think that because I'm not knocked up yet, that we are infertile and are praying for us. Nope, it's that my IUD is working.
We've been married 9 months and last week alone, four people asked, "Are you pregnant yet?" So annoying and personal! And these were all work-related people, so giving a rude comment back is a BAD idea.
As for the "how's married life?", it doesn't bother me. I look at it as generic small talk, basically, "How's life?" but they care enough to personalize it a little/remember a big event in my life. I answer it the same as someone asking how I am- "fine."
I feel like I'm going to let loose on the next person who asks me about having babies. I want to try the "what makes you ask?" response. Omg, the post about "I hope you have a million babies" written in a card...people need to think. My FI and I have no interest in having kids, so something like that would be the opposite of a well wish for us.
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I wish people would STOP asking us anything baby related:
I guess this is normal to keep getting the baby questions, but to get questioned so often by the same people is sooo annoying. And I do have a bit of baby fever so it makes me sad that school gets in the way of baby making. but i wish people would STOP asking!!
Thanks for listening :)