- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Ah, pregnancy — ain’t it grand? I think my favorite part is how I can’t drink alcohol and how I have to watch my caffeine and how even eating a regular-old sandwich is a risky proposition (THE DELI MEAT COULD KILL US BOTH!!!!).
Darling Husband and I are beer connoisseurs. He brews beer, and we’ve always gotten a lot of joy out of going to tap houses and trying new things, and of course drinking DH’s amazing home brews off the kegerator in the living room. I also have always enjoyed wine. Yum yum yum, nothing better than a glass of red wine with spaghetti dinner!
But now I’m knocked up so I can’t drink that stuff anymore. No big deal — it was harder at first but now I’m pretty much used to it and don’t really get that “ugh, I need a beer SO BADLY right now after this long week” feeling. I also softened the blow by buying myself a bunch of other treats that I never really indulged in prior to being pregnant, like buying a bunch of fancy natural sodas, and by keeping a jug of fat-free chocolate milk in the fridge for those sudden chocolate cravings.
And this brings us to the point of this post: you guys … I get so mad when Darling Husband drinks my special drinks. Like, SO mad.
It makes no sense for me to get mad at him. It’s not like these beverages are hard to come by — I just buy them at Safeway whenever I’m doing the weekly shopping. They’re certainly better for him than beer, so why should I care if he wants to have one of my Frescas? BUT I DON’T WANT HIM TO HAVE MY FRESCA. Because it’s MINE and I can’t drink beer or wine and it’s NOT FAIR. *screams like a small child while flailing arms and legs on the floor*
(okay, I let him have my Fresca … but the Hansen’s Natural Sodas are OFF LIMITS. And don’t even get me started on the chocolate milk)
The other day I brought home some Hansen’s Diet Root Beer and Darling Husband got all excited about it. And without even thinking, I shrieked at him that THAT ROOT BEER IS FOR ME AND GIZMO (the baby) AND NOT FOR YOU. It was like I heard myself shrieking as it was happening — it wasn’t me doing it, it was some primal monster inside me that is suddenly really possessive of some beverages. What?!? Later, I relented and let him have a can of it, with the express understanding that that one can was all he could have. I need to cling to this one thing that he wants but can’t have, so when he sits next to me drinking some really fancy beer that he just bought and I can only have a tiny little taste of it, well, I have this root beer that you can’t have so you can just eat my butt.
I know he drinks my chocolate milk, though. He’s just gotten wise and does it when I’m out of the room, all stealthy-like.
Haha, any other pregnant Bees find themselves subconsciously wanting to deprive their partners of something good solely to even the score a little because of all the things we aren’t allowed to have??? Surely I can’t be the only one. Unless I am. Which is cool too, I guess.
Also, note this post is intended to be funny — a place to laugh at the ridiculous things pregnant women do to cope with it all. Even shrieking and withholding root beer. Which is sometimes the best way.