stop smoking or I walk down the isle myself?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@carlypaige: That sounds a little like exortion, no?  Smoking is a very powerful addiction, and I’ve yet to meet a smoker who hasn’t tried to quit many times, or wishes they had never started in the first place.  You really want to punish your parents for this?

Sure, you can ask them, however if someone presented me with that kind of ultimatum I would tell them to have a nice walk (down the AISLE).  By themselves.

Post # 4
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

While I respect any effort to quit smoking, I don’t think it should be used as a bargaining chip in whether someone gets to walk their child down the aisle.  You can still encourage them to make healthy choices leading up to the wedding, though.

Post # 6
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@carlypaige:  as someone who loathes cigarettes due to my father’s smoking and quitting issues/difficult behaviour I understand your frustration but I would say 9 times out of 10 using blackmail techniques etc to try and get them to quit doesnt work. They have to really want to quit and come to that decision themselves. We can’t do it for them.

Post # 7
Member
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

lol are you getting married on an island?  =)

 

No, you can’t hold smoking of their heads.  I would, however, talk to them about how worried you are.  In the end, it’s their decision, though.

Post # 8
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

@Lollybags:  +1

Just sounds like something that would cause problems.

I have met and work with a few smokers who have flat out told me that they have never tried to quit, will never quit, and don’t care if it shortens their lives. The person has to want it not be forced into it.

Post # 10
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@carlypaige:  I think you’re taking their smoking too personal. I get that you do not like it, it is bad for them and it makes you worry– but you can’t go around throwing ultimatums at people because they do something you don’t approve of. It seems childish, really. 

 

The best you can do is talk to them about how worried you are. As long as they aren’t smoking while walking you down the aisle, I don’t really see the issue :/

Post # 11
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

  unless they plan on lighting up while you walk down the aisle.. I think that’s a little much to Demand. 

Post # 12
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My grandma had her lung removed and 4 out of 5 of her children still smoke. It’s just that difficult. I have tried all I can to help my parents with their many addictions (drugs, alcohol, smoking) but I love them too much to go down the aisle without them.

Once they’re gone, you’ll regret it.

Post # 13
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@carlypaige:  Ummm….no….you shouldn’t. They have to want to quit on their own and this sounds like extortion. Time to grow up. Addiction is tough….it’s not a matter stopping just like that.

Post # 15
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@carlypaige:  I think your point came across quite clearly, I don’t like smoking either, I hate it. BUT an addiction is a lot harder than ‘quitting just like that’. And only they can decide when they want to quit.

Post # 16
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@carlypaige:  If you’ve voiced your concern then you’ve made your point. You could tattoo it across your forehead and they will still smoke because they are addicted. It in no way indicates how much or how little they love you. 

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