(Closed) Stop talking about it and got the proposal?

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you stop talking about it and got the proposal?
    Yep. The moment I stopped he popped the question. : (24 votes)
    37 %
    Nope. I talked about it the entire time. : (17 votes)
    26 %
    Haven't figured this one out yet, still no ring. : (24 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My FH and I had talked about marriage before, but never an "engagement."  He accidentally let it slip one day that he was going to propose to me on the day of our college graduation, but due to several factors, things didn’t work out.  So then I began to wonder, "Does he already hae a ring?  When will he ask now?"  Several months went by and one of my best friends got engaged.  I’m super happy for her but I also felt that automatic twinge of jealousy.  I started to wonder if my FH had changed his mind about asking me and I kinda started to hound him about "where we were going…" Finally, I let it go, realizing that if we weren’t still on the same page, I would know.  And then about a month later, I was totally shocked to get a ring!

    Post # 4
    Member
    108 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    He bought the ring before my birthday (November ’08) and didn’t pop the question until Feb ’09…he was waiting for the right time! I voted that I kept talking about it…but he definitely played the "every time you mention it I’m adding a week" …I showed pics and kept saying white gold….he’d tease me that maybe he can only get it in yellow….but he had the perfect one sitting in his hiding spot the whole time!

    For us, it was one major event after another…birthday, thanksgiving, christmas, and he didn’t want to do it right before a major holiday because that is ALL that we’d hear about from my huge family at the dinner! So he did it the day before V-day (because he said he’d never do it on an obvious day, he needs to keep me guessing)….I said great, you picked Friday the 13th! haha

    Good luck! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    My FI and I had set the date previous to our official engagement but i was talking about getting a ring all the time, I was very annoying. Finally I realized I was so worried about when it was coming that I wasn’t enjoying the time I had with him now. So I zipped my lips (tho, in my head I was still wondering) and just enjoyed him, and wouldn’t you know it about 2 weeks later the question was popped and now I have a beautiful ring on my finger. Of course I now know he was planning to do it the entire time I was (and wasn’t) bugging him, but I still think that stopping was better for both of us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    We talked it for months. He finally told me he’d propose when he got home from Iraq. So that shut me up. At least I knew it was coming! But, that’s a unique situation

    Post # 8
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I never really nagged him about it but it was brought up a few times.  I found a ring I liked (he was with me), he took the card with all the information on it and we left.  A year later he proposed with that ring.  He did it on his own time and even though I would have been ready at any time, he was going to do it when he wanted to.  For me I realized a few things…1. I can’t control every situation, he’s in control of it, he’ll do it when he’s ready and when he wants to, the world doesn’t revolve around me.  2. I knew no matter what, I wanted to be with him always, so I was obviously going to have to wait for him 🙂  and 3.  I knew I’d rather it come purely from him and not me nagging and pressuring him into it. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    7054 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We will see how it goes for us since we’re unoficially engaged (that is how I feel at least) without my ring.  I am not mentioning it at all.  We’re going on vacation next week and again for a short one over labor day.

    Will it happen then?  I have pretty much quelled most weddingspeak to a bare minimum and he mentions things far more than I do and made a huge deal to me about buying more life insurance and stuff for "us and for all 3 of us (my son included)" recently and then he had a talk with a relative of mine recently and then said something to her and in turn immediately my mom calls after and begins acting wierd.

    We will see.  I’m not worried.  He’ll do it when it’s right.  I told him it was actually taking imho the romance out of things having all the great days just go by with nothing happening.  My deliberate removal of "the ring" from my daily radar has helped 100 percent.

    On this vacation next week I expect nothing.  Will I get it?  Who the heck knows.  Will I worry about it?  Nope.  On the next one?  Who knows.

    It’ll land when it does.  And it should be before december because it’s an internal timeline deadline for a chick my age. (just turned 40 and things are just different when you’re a touch older).  Dating at 40 for two years (we met when I was 38) is like dating for five years when you’re 30. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Haha, I was complaining while we were on the way to the place… we had gone out for a nice dinner to celebrate 4.5 years together and i basically kind of just looked at him and said, yeah, we’re not really getting married next year, are we? It’s a little late to be planning for a wedding then anyways.

    And then, he pulled up to the most romantic thing I’ve ever had happen… 

    So yeah, I’m a complainer, but he’s awesome.

    Post # 13
    Member
    397 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @ redbullfanatic: I think I’m actually going to print your comment and recite it as a mantra every morning…

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