Post # 1
Hi ladies. I’m struggling and need some advice. I love my mom and I’m 1200 miles away from her while planning my wedding. I’m pretty indecisive, so it’s a big deal when I make a decision. When I make a decision and talk to her about it, she’ll respond “that’s tradition” or “why aren’t you doing that” or “I’ll just do it, give me the information”. For example, I wanted to cut out programs and she wasn’t having it. DARN IT mom. I love her, but I’m contemplating NOT telling her details anymore and letting her find out the day of the wedding.
Do you think that’s fair? Any suggestions on a better way?
Post # 3
Can you give her one task that you really don’t care about and let her run with it? If you’re paying for the task, then be sure you give her a clear, firm budget. That way she won’t feel completely left out, and you can leave her out of all of the details that you do care about.
Post # 4
I have posted this before, but, Randy from SYTTD was in our city a few weeks ago. The words he used that struck a chord with me were “If you are mature enough to get married, you have to be mature enough to have the wedding you want.”
Maybe it’s time to woman up and thank your Mom for her input but do it your way.
Post # 5
@hecallsmelove: I’ve had similar problems with my Mom. My piece of advice is pick and choose your battles, if something isn’t of the utmost importance to you then let it slide but don’t give in on everything.
We have a super large family, both my Mom and Dad come from families with 5 siblings and all those siblings are married/have kids. That’s before we get to Aunts and Uncles, cousins, friends, etc. FI’s family is tiny. We decided to have a small ceremony so we could keep that intimate feeling which my Mom was NOT on board with. She would pester us and pester us about inviting everyone b/c it wasn’t “fair” and she would have “no one to talk to.”
We ultimately met in the middle and agreed to have a picnic to celebrate with our extended family. We also agreed to invite my godparents to the actual wedding so each side of our extended family would be represented. By meeting in the middle she was happy and I was a whole lot less stressed. She also stopped giving her two cents on everything else.
Good luck and if it’s important to you then stick to your guns! It’s your day!
Post # 6
She can do the programs, that’s not a big deal… they’ll be like $30. I let her have the braidal shower she wanted (let her go crazy, I have no hand in it and it’s next weekend), so I thought that would be project enough. Our guest list… whole other animal. ButtercupBo, I wish I could have had a smaller wedding but let my mom dictate that too. Looking more like 225!
I’m exhausted with work, school, etc and would love to delegate more, but let’s be honest we have different tastes. I’m getting too tired to fight the closer it gets to the wedding date.
Post # 7
@hecallsmelove: Sounds like my mom.
Post # 8
I’ve dealt with this with my mom before. I love her to death, but we have pretty different opinions on mostly everything I pick out. Just stick to your guns, but be respectful of her.
Post # 9
I definitely stopped sharing a lot of details with my mom. She means well, but other people don’t always “get” your vision until it’s there in front of them. I say, let some things be a surprise on the wedding day. You’ll probably have a lot less stress.
Post # 10
I’m exhausted with work, school, etc and would love to delegate more, but let’s be honest we have different tastes. — oh my gosh, story of my life!
Pretty much agree with the PP’s.
Post # 11
So frustrating. I pretty much just give in to avoid any argument
Post # 12
I don’t plan to share many details with my mom as she is super critical.