- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I’ve been thinking about this post for a couple of weeks, and I hope it is received with an open mind and that I can communicate my thoughts well enough to get across what I’m trying to say.
There have been a lot of threads lately about parenting decisions. I am all for these threads, but it’s important to recognize that they are all topics about which reasonable people can reasonably disagree (a favorite phrase of mine.) And it is not the disagreement, in and of itself, that is the root of the problem, but the attitude with which people go about arguing for their point of view.
I make the very best choices I know how to for my son. If they are not the same as the choices you make for your child, that’s cool. It does not make me better, worse, smarter, dumber, more or less educated, etc. for making my choice. Unless I am abusing my child (and I guarantee, nothing any of these threads have touched on come even a tiny bit close to abuse), you really have no place to judge me. Disagree, for sure! Judge, no thank you.
Good moms breastfeed. Good moms breastfeed in public. Good moms breastfeed in private/with a cover, etc. Good moms formula feed. Good moms let their babies cry it out. Good moms comfort their babies every time they cry. Good moms circumcize their boys. Good moms choose not to circumcize. Good moms work. Good moms stay at home. Etc…you get my point.
I used to know everything about being a parent…and then I became one. And even then, I knew everything about feeding babies…and then it was really hard. And even then, I knew everything about sleep…and then my kiddo woke up every 1.5 all.night.long. I’m not saying non-parents don’t have valid opinions–they most assuredly do! And the Mama-shaming comes from both sides…perhaps even stronger from parents who disagree than from non-parents. But it doesn’t do anyone any good.
Parenthood is hard. You are responsible not only for the physical well-being, but for the emotional and social stability of a human. 24/7. WHOA! That’s big! Talk about pressure. And we all do our very best to navigate its treacherous waters and do the best for our babies (and our bigger babies, too). Because we ALL love our babies. I don’t think we can really question that. Anyone who takes the time to post about their parenting choices must care pretty deeply for their child.
So, let’s keep the disagreements civil. Remember, just because I disagree with you, doesn’t mean I’m wrong. And it certainly doesn’t make me a bad mom. So let’s keep the name-calling and shaming out of the threads, and disagree kindly. State what you chose (or think you will choose) to do. Present evidence for your views.
But don’t call me a bad mom, because I most assuredly do everything I can every single second of my life to do the best I can for my child.
Thanks, ladies! Have a wonderful day!