stop the mommy wars

posted 3 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Sure, I can live with all those choices. The only valid mommy-war IMO is vaccines. I WILL openly judge anyone who bases their immunisation choices on the advice of a former playmate rather than HUNDREDS of academic studies.

Post # 4
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

OMG, I can’t agree more!! Why are we all so judgemental and not more supportive. I have a six grade child who is at a school sponsored social event today. My friend took him because the kids wanted to go together. Truth be told, I was glad to avoid dealing with the “Smothers” today. We live in a high income town where all the Moms are wealthy, accomplished, manicured stay at homes and they competitive parent. It is hilarious but heart breaking at the same time. I just had to talk from friend off the ledge while she was at the event because the Smothers were saying mean comments about her daughters’ weight. My friend is a Physician for god sakes and should have told them to mind their own business. Are we not the grown ups? Can’t we all just respect each others’ best efforts as parents and get along?

Post # 6
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

In the end though, vaccination is still their own choice. And one that shouldn’t be judged. saying we should stop commenting about other moms and then in the very same sentence speaking harshly of non vaccinated children seems kind of A double standard to me. 

Post # 7
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsRugbee:  +1.

@Equine_Breeder:  It’s a choice that can impact so many other kids. I could care less if someone uses cloth diapers, has one kid or 70 (provided they can support them and my taxes aren’t), is religious or not, uses formula or doesn’t, or anything else that is not my business. But if your kid comes to school and makes mine sick due to an issue you could have prevented, I will get mad.

Post # 8
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Also, I have no idea what the heck co-sleeping is. It sounds made up 😛

Post # 9
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Foreverblonde345:  Your post made me laugh!

I don’t have kids yet, but I am a high school teacher in a wealthy suburb, and many of my students’ moms are Smothers, as you put it.

It drive me crazy when I have parent teacher conferences and many moms complain “what can I do to help my son/daughter pass your chemistry class” and I tell them the first thing is to actually spend time with them!  Be involved in their lives!  Ask what they’re doing in class!  Half of the parents didn’t even know my name when they came in for conferences!

The best was I had one mom try to reschedule because her assigned time interfered with her Pilates class.  Really?

Sorry, rant over!

Post # 10
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsPanda99:  I totally agree on the vaccine issue.  There have been a few young kids that died of whooping cough where I live because their parents decided not to vaccinate them.

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@SnowInApril:  Stories like that make me sad (and sick) because it is so preventable. I would be really worried if preventable illnesses were in my child’s school. A vaccine isn’t a guarantee so I’d just rather my child not be around that. 

Also, child abuse…I don’t know how anyone wouldn’t be outraged by that. I’m not sure if anyone has “mommy wars” about hitting their kids as punishment, but that is something I will absolutely never agree with.

Post # 12
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Someone posted about this article last week and I commented about how much I agreed. This damn US vs THEM bores me to no end. We as mothers have so much more in common than not, I wish we could all live and let live.

Although I didnt notice mention of it in the article, i’m with

@MrsRugbee:  on  the vaccination issue. Its simply a no-brainer. Especially when you see the recurrence of polio in countries where it was previously unheard of due to vaccination. They arent putting my DD at risk since she is vaccinated but I believe they are putting their own children at risk. I just dont get it, especially since the whole vaccines=autism debate should have been put to rest years ago. I know parents choose not to vaccinate for other reasons but that was a big one.

 

Post # 13
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsPanda99:  Co-sleeping has multiple meanings.  One is to sleep in the same room as the child (usually for the first 4-6 months or so) with the child in a bassinet, crib, packnplay or whatever.  Co-sleeping has more recently begun to mean “bed sharing” which is having the baby sleep in bed with you/you and your partner. Some people also buy “co-sleepers” which allow you to have the baby in the bed or next to the bed with no possibility of you rolling on them (there is a divider/lip).

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Schatzie821:  Thanks for explaining! That would never work for me because I’d want my child to be independent and I’d also want time alone with my husband. But I’m not sure why I’d get bent out of shape if anyone else did it. A lot of these “mommy wars” make no sense. If it doesn’t impact you, what do you care? I don’t get it, lol.

Post # 15
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@MrsPanda99:  Room sharing isn’t (usually) argued about, but a lot of people get up in arms about bed sharing because they feel it is unsafe (parent could roll over, blankets in the bed, too soft a bed, etc). But I totally agree with you, live and let live. I hope everyone makes educated decisions for themselves/their kids, but as long as it doesn’t affect me/mine, not my issue!

(edited to add- not saying bedsharing or co-sleeping is an uneducated choice! Just making that clear!)

Post # 16
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

The thing which always make me roll my eyes is the working parent thing. Sorry guys… but it is almost always a financial decision. Your hand is forced, and it seems so pointless to criticise when something isn’t a real choice.

The basic maths are: if you make lots more than you would spend on childcare, you will probably go back to work.

If childcare costs more than your wages, you will probably not go back to work.

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