Stop this shower!! HELP

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 4
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t know – it is always tough when people can’t take no for an answer. Your MOH needs to just say no to helping you FMIL. I mean she ALREADY hosted a shower for you. I would say if your FMIL wants to host a 2nd one, she can go for it, but your MOH doesn’t need to be apart of the planning. Have you flat out told her this?

Post # 5
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell your MOH to make it clear to your FMIL that she is not planning another shower.

Tell your FMIL that your MOH is not planning another shower.

If the MOH doesn’t send out invitations there will be no other shower unless your FMIL finally takes responsibility herself.

Post # 6
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

If your MOH doesn’t have the ability to stand up for herself and say no, then I guess she needs to go on over the the store and start shopping.

Post # 7
6951 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@star282:  Your FMIL is your FI blessing to deal with. He needs to tell his mother that your MOH has already thrown you a lovely shower, at her own expense, and if your mother would like to throw a shower she will have to do so at HER own expense. It shouldn’t be left to you… and DEFINITELY shouldn’t be left to your poor MOH… to deal with this woman. I would tell my FI to talk to his mother and I would call my MOH and tell her we’re taking care of it and to block FMIL’s number because she doesn’t have to deal with her anymore. 

Post # 8
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@star282:  So let me get this straight: you FMIL wants to “throw” you a shower…but actually have the MOH do the dirty work while she takes credit?

Post # 9
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Maybe her intentions are a little bit more strictly etiquette related.  You know, the whole traditional idea that family can’t host showers, but she wants you to have one with her side, but she feels bound by etiquette to have your MOH plan it.

Which is a bunch of crap, if I do say so myself.

Your MOH needs to stand up to the palte and say no.  By her saying yes, your FMIL will take it as a go-ahead.  If she says no, FMIL will have to re-evaluate what to do.

Post # 10
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

How awkward.  I feel for your MOH- surely she doesn’t want to come off as lazy/rude/cheap by telling your FMIL that she will not put together another shower.  I like the idea of getting your FI to shut this thing down.  I was going to suggest another way for you to approach your FMIL, but having your FI put his foot down seems like the best way to handle it.  I’m sure you’ve done this, but please re-assure your MOH that you loved your shower and that you have no intention of having her do the work for another one.

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