Post # 1
Hello Fellow Bees!
My FI and I just moved into a new apartment. We got rid of a TON of furniture, clothing, and personal items, but still don’t have lots of room. My parents are throwing an engagement party for us next weekend, and I am not sure where we will find the space to store them. (I live in MA and my parents are in NY.)
I am wondering what the ettiquette is around when you can begin using the gifts you have been given. Has anyone run into this issue before? Did you store your items away or start to use gifts as you received them?
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
Once the gift is given it is yours to do what you wish. As we received gifts before our wedding we stored them in an empty room in our house (we were lucky to have the space) until after the wedding. We did this for a couple of reasons:
1. I just didn’t have time to go through my kitchen and get rid of old things to make room for new.
2. We wanted to make sure we truly wanted everything before we started using it. We did make several exchanges after the wedding.
If you want to start using thing right away, by all means, do it!
Post # 4
Traditionally you do not use wedding gifts until you get married- for a simple reason: In case you call off the wedding, you are supposed to send each gift back unused to the giver.
Post # 5
@SnowflakeDS: I don’t think that people would expect you to send back gifts…
I am definitely using our gifts. We’re leaving the ‘fancy stuff’ (china and special flatware, etc) for when we have more storage for them, but I’ve used our new Keurig every morning since we got it, as well as our new casual flatware.
I say use your gifts!!
Post # 6
@napabridekelsey: Traditional etiquette wisdom can stick around a lot longer than what people will actually do.
Just for reference, Wedding Planning for Dummies states that gifts have to be returned unused if the wedding is cancelled. About.com, too. Current attitudes on whether to use or not use gifts before the wedding are divided, see this Bee discussion.
Post # 7
I left all my shower gifts at my parent’s and didn’t use any of the wedding gifts we got early until after the wedding.
I didn’t have an engagement party, and haven’t heard of many who have had them here. I’m not sure if the same rule applies, don’t you usually just get wine, flowers, etc. for those? I say go ahead and drink some wine while figuring out the wording for your invitations or doing other planning!
Post # 8
There was no way I wasnt going to use my new kitchen stuff that I received at my showers!
I think if its an engagement gift its to celebrate the engagement, if its a shower gift its a gift to the bride to shower her at that moment, if its an early wedding present, then that I might wait (well depending what it is)
Post # 9
We used ours right away. We had all my hubby’s old mismatched crap from college, he barely had any kitchen stuff (I stupidly donated all mine before I moved in), and I was just too excited. I know lots of people don’t want to jinx things, but we got married, we’ve been married for over a year, and we’re still very happy.